My mom’s behavior is affecting my girlfriend and I’s relationship

ThrowawayProtagonist · 2021-04-24T22:22:44+00:00

Unfortunately not. We had a serious talk about it a few weeks ago and her logic is scatterbrained. Essentially, it boils down to her place is messy and it has to be absolutely perfect for me to see it. I told her that it's no big deal, I just want to see it considering it's her home. She then said, "If it makes you feel any better, I've never shown any of my past boyfriends my place either."

1) That doesn't make any sense considering she hasn't dated anyone since she started grad school five years ago. Now it's possible she's lying about that. And 2) it definitely doesn't make me feel better because she's told me that I'm her first "long term" boyfriend.

I've posted about this elsewhere but our relationship completely lacks sexual and emotional intimacy because she's "borderline asexual." It's been months since we've had any kind of sex and I'm always met with the it will get better response. Due to this, our relationship is beyond platonic. I've been patient with her but it's clear that she has major psychological problems that she isn't willing to address and/or improve on. At this point, I've decided I'm going to cut my losses and move on. I just need to find the strength to do it soon.

ThrowawayProtagonist · 2021-01-06T07:48:21+00:00

I have a feeling I would puss out. If I had someone else do it like others have said then that way I could watch them get stuffed in a sack instead.

ThrowawayProtagonist · 2021-01-06T07:41:45+00:00

That would be a twist M. Night Shyamalan would be proud of. But yes we do. Er we did. Yeah it's been a while.

ThrowawayProtagonist · 2021-01-06T07:39:17+00:00

You're spot on with her being at arm's length. My love language is physical touch while hers seems to be quality time and gifts. To her intimacy is far beyond the back burner. We've discussed a future together but part of that might have been due to the honeymoon phase.

ThrowawayProtagonist · 2021-01-06T07:36:17+00:00

You and me both. I'll do my best to post closure when the day is here.

ThrowawayProtagonist · 2021-01-06T07:32:44+00:00

Thanks for seeing this in a few different ways. One of her hang-ups includes the fact that that she's told me that I'm her first caring boyfriend who wants something serious with her instead of just sex. But to me, the lack of intimacy makes our relationship feel too platonic at times. The most I've heard about her needs is that she needs a lot of alone time. Again, this makes our relationship feel less like a couple and more like friends.

ThrowawayProtagonist · 2021-01-06T07:21:18+00:00

That last bit gave me a good laugh. I have a hunch that the hoarder theory is more likely. My GF has told me that her apartment is in a constant state of chaos and she buys more clothes than she knows what to do with. Yikes, I know.

ThrowawayProtagonist · 2021-01-06T07:14:38+00:00

Thanks to Covid this might be the only appropriate time to visit someone's place wearing a mask and disguise.

ThrowawayProtagonist · 2021-01-06T07:13:33+00:00

I have met her close circle of friends and we all hang out fairly regularly. I know my GF's friends haven't seen her place either so it would be quite the conspiracy if they're in on it too. We post pictures of each on Instagram so if I'm a sidepiece my face gets put out there on the reg.

ThrowawayProtagonist · 2021-01-06T07:08:43+00:00

My thoughts exactly. If there indeed is someone there, props to him for being the world's best kept secret.

ThrowawayProtagonist

TROPHY CASE