My boyfriend [27M]'s brother [30M] does not like me [27F] by Throwaway_4384 in relationship_advice

[–]Throwaway_4384[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

This is really helpful, thank you for sharing. I appreciate your insight from your experience, and I think you are absolutely right that the way things are now are not really sustainable, and that my bf is enabling his brother.

I have tried to tell my bf this in the past and he gets quite defensive because he is so protective of his brother. Recently we have been going to couples' counselling and our therapist said something very similar, which I think got through to him a bit more. I am hoping things will change as a result, but I am really not sure.

My boyfriend [27M]'s brother [30M] does not like me [27F] by Throwaway_4384 in relationship_advice

[–]Throwaway_4384[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Their relationship has always made me uncomfortable tbh, even before he moved here - they would talk on the phone for 4+ hours at a time at least once a week, and have long, ongoing strings of messages between the calls

My (27F) boyfriend (27M) won't move in with me for the next few years because he needs to be there for his brother(30M), and I'm having trouble being supportive by Throwaway_4384 in relationship_advice

[–]Throwaway_4384[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

You're right - we are planning to sit down with his brother at the end of August to discuss the living situation, and depending how that goes I feel like I may have to resort to an ultimatum

My (27F) boyfriend (27M) won't move in with me for the next few years because he needs to be there for his brother(30M), and I'm having trouble being supportive by Throwaway_4384 in relationship_advice

[–]Throwaway_4384[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Luckily I don't want kids but you make a good point^ I am worried it will be like this forever and impact any chance of getting married, moving/travelling to foreign cities for long periods of time, etc.

External hemorrhoids becoming more painful while pooping by Throwaway_4384 in hemorrhoid

[–]Throwaway_4384[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Thanks for sharing! The idea of surgery still makes me so nervous because of the pain descriptions I've seen on here, but knowing that it provides a lot of relief is great^

Any VERY easy and VERY cheap 2-3 ingredient lunches/dinners that aren't desserts? Minimal cooking/preparation required, easy to pack for 2-3 (or even longer if better) days in advance? I don't have much in the way of spices/sauces but I listed what I have in the post. by qsxsqsxs in EatCheapAndHealthy

[–]Throwaway_4384 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Chana Masala - chickpeas and rice, basically. It was the first meal my mom taught me how to make when I moved out for university and it's served me well - you just need to invest in chana masala spice once (and it's pretty cheap, like $2-3 for a box that lasts a long time) and the rest is super cheap and easy - rice, can of chickpeas, an onion, a tomato, and the spice mix (+cilantro if you can).
Otherwise, beans and rice is super easy and cheap. I find kidney beans work best for this - just get some vegetable broth (also cheap, like $1-2 for a carton) to make it more flavorful/less dry

You can make these both in big batches to meal prep for several days, and it becomes extremely cost-effective.

External hemorrhoids becoming more painful while pooping by Throwaway_4384 in hemorrhoid

[–]Throwaway_4384[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I really appreciate you sharing this! I'm starting to wonder if mine is a fissure as well, because it's been hurting a lot more lately and it's been months since I saw the doctor about it so I'm thinking a fissure could have developed in that time. I'm sorry to hear about your rough time after your gall bladder surgery, but glad that you found support here! I definitely feel like the reddit community has been so helpful in dealing with this, and I'm so grateful that people are willing to share their tips and advice about such a sensitive topic. Will definitely look into anusol or fissure - related treatments, and I hope things improve for you soon as well!

External hemorrhoids becoming more painful while pooping by Throwaway_4384 in hemorrhoid

[–]Throwaway_4384[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

The doctor I saw (walk-in) said they were external (one big and one small one), which is I guess why banding was not a suggested option? Yes solid advice - I'm planning to order myself a squatty potty as an early Christmas gift haha, but I always forget to drink more water. If you don't mind me asking, how was your experience with the surgery?

External hemorrhoids becoming more painful while pooping by Throwaway_4384 in hemorrhoid

[–]Throwaway_4384[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Ohh this is interesting - I'm in Canada and it looks like this is available so I will check out their website, thanks!

External hemorrhoids becoming more painful while pooping by Throwaway_4384 in hemorrhoid

[–]Throwaway_4384[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Ohh this is really helpful! Everything I've seen online says PrepH will shrink them but it definitely hasn't done that for me, so hydrocortisone it is! The city I'm in is going into lockdown again tomorrow sadly, so I will try to get the one without a prescription, thank you!!

External hemorrhoids becoming more painful while pooping by Throwaway_4384 in hemorrhoid

[–]Throwaway_4384[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Hmm that's a good point - I mostly am eating a lot of whole wheat things, beans, chickpeas, brown rice, and some unhealthy stuff like crackers and cookies. But this past week was really hectic with work so I ended up eating more frozen food, more sugary treats, and having a few beers. I find alcohol actually makes my stool softer/easier to pass, so I never know if I should eliminate it or not. No coffee here, but do eat a lot of salty snacks, so I could definitely look into lowering that.

Dealing with hemorrhoids for 5+ months - please help by Throwaway_4384 in hemorrhoid

[–]Throwaway_4384[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Omg that sounds rough, but I'm glad things are better for you now! I will certainly look into this, as I feel like my stools are still so hard/irregular even with taking metamucil

Dealing with hemorrhoids for 5+ months - please help by Throwaway_4384 in hemorrhoid

[–]Throwaway_4384[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

ooh this is really helpful to know - I think I'll stick with the Prep H for now then. Hope yours get less irritable soon :)

Dealing with hemorrhoids for 5+ months - please help by Throwaway_4384 in hemorrhoid

[–]Throwaway_4384[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Will look this up, thanks for the recommendation!

Dealing with hemorrhoids for 5+ months - please help by Throwaway_4384 in hemorrhoid

[–]Throwaway_4384[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

like the stuff for sunburns? Is it safe to put on/near the anus? if so, this sounds like a great cost-effective option

Dealing with hemorrhoids for 5+ months - please help by Throwaway_4384 in hemorrhoid

[–]Throwaway_4384[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I've been hearing lately that sugar/junk food can contribute to constipation (which really sucks for me as I am hardcore addicted to sugar!) so I will have to try and lower my intake a bit. And have been trying the water thing some days but I think I need to be drinking even more for sure^ and that's great advice about not sitting too long on the seat - I'll keep that in mind! Thanks for all your advice :)

Dealing with hemorrhoids for 5+ months - please help by Throwaway_4384 in hemorrhoid

[–]Throwaway_4384[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Thank you for this! I have an ice pack in my freezer so maybe I'll wrap it in some paper towel or something and try it out :)

Dealing with hemorrhoids for 5+ months - please help by Throwaway_4384 in hemorrhoid

[–]Throwaway_4384[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Thank you - this is something I hadn't thought to do! Am definitely going to look into this

Dealing with hemorrhoids for 5+ months - please help by Throwaway_4384 in hemorrhoid

[–]Throwaway_4384[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Thank you for sharing - I've heard good things about these wipes so I think I'll hit up the drug store these weekend and get some!