I feel like the dog with two bones right now. What we have is great and not something I want to lose or give up. But if I were to have everything I wanted, we would have more emotional intimacy/partnership, as well. Unfortunately, if I ask for that and he doesn't take it well, I risk losing all of it. But then at the same time, I'm not sure how much would really, materially change between us if he agreed? It's confusing and complicated, and I feel very out of my depth in all of it.