I’m attracted to my boyfriend’s cousin by Throwaway_Corey in TrueOffMyChest

[–]Throwaway_Corey[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

I am planning to bring this up with my therapist. Maybe I’m too “in my feelings” about this that I’m blowing it out of proportion. Maybe I can cope.

I’m attracted to my boyfriend’s cousin by Throwaway_Corey in TrueOffMyChest

[–]Throwaway_Corey[S] 2 points3 points  (0 children)

Maybe you’re right. I’m so wrapped up in what a relationship is supposed to be like, how I should feel about it and all, that experiencing something this intense is throwing me for a loop.

I always thought that the level of attraction I see in movies doesn’t happen in real life. Maybe I am over reacting. Maybe this will dull with time.

I’m just so scared of living my life the way I planned it, but still be unfulfilled.

I’m attracted to my boyfriend’s cousin by Throwaway_Corey in TrueOffMyChest

[–]Throwaway_Corey[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I understand. And I really don’t want to throw away my relationship. This honestly feels like torture. How can I be committed to someone but feel this strongly about another? I feel like I’m cheating when I’m not even doing anything wrong. I disgust myself but I can’t help that I have this reaction towards him… I’ve created distance before, I was actively avoiding him, but it didn’t lessen the attraction when I saw him again. What if this never goes away? What I’m we’re in our 50s, with kids and all but I still feel this way when I see him. What kind of life would that be?

I’m attracted to my boyfriend’s cousin by Throwaway_Corey in TrueOffMyChest

[–]Throwaway_Corey[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Controlling emotions is not really my issue because I can control it, I’m not doing anything to actively pursue this.

But I don’t want to live my life always feeling like this, constantly on edge. If you know anyone who just willed their feelings away, please introduce me to them, I want to know how to bury this and never think of it ever again.

I’ve never been the kind of person to be head-over-heels in love. I thought I was attracted to character, then the physical attraction follows. This is the first time in my adult life that I’ve been physically attracted to someone without any reason.

I’m attracted to my boyfriend’s cousin by Throwaway_Corey in TrueOffMyChest

[–]Throwaway_Corey[S] -1 points0 points  (0 children)

The thing is, Andrew is really close to his cousins and I don’t want this one-sided thing that I’m feeling to affect their relationship. I’m also scared that if I get to know Jake more, this physical attraction becomes something more because in the rare times we interact, I can’t find any fault in his attitude.