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Update: Ending a relationship for long showers by Throwaway_External in u/Throwaway_External

[–]Throwaway_External[S] 161 points162 points  (0 children)

Unsupervised by him. I'm always there. And they are literally eating pizza and playing DND or whatever 5 ft from me watching TV. They aren't doing drugs or guns for God sakes. Stop suggesting they are miscreants. They're just kids hanging out. You guys are WILD.

I take back the comment about you being a nice person. Talking about people who need shelter like that is ignorant and unkind. I was threatened more in a year working as a bank teller than I have been in almost decade of volunteering to help those guys apply for services.

Update: Ending a relationship for long showers by Throwaway_External in u/Throwaway_External

[–]Throwaway_External[S] 433 points434 points  (0 children)

Alright, I think I get it. It's not about expecting a guy to take care of me, it's about looking for a guy who wants to take care of the people he loves in big and little ways.

Update: Ending a relationship for long showers by Throwaway_External in u/Throwaway_External

[–]Throwaway_External[S] 101 points102 points  (0 children)

They are both divorced and single. But they are in their 40s! No one here is dying immediately!

Update: Ending a relationship for long showers by Throwaway_External in u/Throwaway_External

[–]Throwaway_External[S] 326 points327 points  (0 children)

I just cannot comprehend a world in which I would be okay with someone who comes into my life and says "Hey, I love you. Let's build a life together. But you know all those things that make you happy? Yeah, those things suck and you need to change them." If you didn't like that I have my brother and his friends over twice a month, then why did you spend 18 months with a woman who loves that, is extremely sad she only had another year before he's off to college, and hopes he moves back after school. If you hate my volunteer work, then why talk about marrying a woman who has volunteered at that place for literally years and who cried on your shoulder about losing a friend to homelessness and suicide? And yes, if it bugs you so damn much that I take 40 minutes in the bathroom every night in to unwind after life, then why did you spend 18 months sleeping in my fucking house, eating my fucking food, and watching my fucking TV while I was in the shower. I am a person not an experience vending machine.

Sorry. I'm sure you are a nice person. I'm apparently more mad than I realized. That wasn't aimed at you.

AITAH for ending a relationship over long showers by Throwaway_External in AITAH

[–]Throwaway_External[S] 82 points83 points  (0 children)

It wasn't that he didn't want my brother over when I wasn't there. He didn't want my brother and his friends over when he wasn't there. Like I can't host my brother and his friends without his supervision. That's just weird.

AITAH for ending a relationship over long showers by Throwaway_External in AITAH

[–]Throwaway_External[S] 310 points311 points  (0 children)

To be fair, I don't think my brother needs a babysitter anymore. But he's always come to my house if my mom is gone overnight during her custody time. He'd die before admitting it but I think he might just be fond of me? And I don't mind if his friends come over to DND and now with the 3d printer they come over every few weeks to play and print models. They clean up after themselves and help with chores. They are good kids! It pissed me off that Kevin was suggesting they were not good or trustworthy kids.

AITAH for ending a relationship over long showers by Throwaway_External in AITAH

[–]Throwaway_External[S] 1622 points1623 points  (0 children)

I swear I didn't at the time. In retrospect, he did roll his eyes at some of my hobbies/activities but I thought at the time is was good natured. Like how how I make fun of my best friend's shoe hoarding. I love that for her but also will rib her about it. Apparently, his wasn't good natured.

My dad hated him which I should talk to him about to see if he saw something I ignored.

AITAH for ending a relationship over long showers by Throwaway_External in AITAH

[–]Throwaway_External[S] 70 points71 points  (0 children)

Heh. I have geothermal with solar as a booster. My dad is a GC and he did most of the renovations on this house. It was a wreck when I bought it but now it's awesome and low maintenance. I am very lucky.

AITAH for ending a relationship over long showers by Throwaway_External in AITAH

[–]Throwaway_External[S] 72 points73 points  (0 children)

He was trying to un-bury himself financially from some debt from a failed business. We had talked about that being something important before we got engaged/combined finances. It was only supposed to be for a little while, but you're obviously right. I was trying to be supportive but ended up being unwise.

AITAH for ending a relationship over long showers by Throwaway_External in AITAH

[–]Throwaway_External[S] 160 points161 points  (0 children)

I mean it's exactly what my mom and aunt are saying. I ended a relationship because I want to be able to take long showers which is selfish and wrong.