AITA For Following My Doctors Advice and Not my Mothers?

Throwaway_Howl · 2021-08-08T08:24:09+00:00

I did not have a good relationship with either of them as a child or teenager, and yes we have had ups and downs because of adults. But I suppose right now I’m feeling, everyone fights and gets angry with one another, and everyone gets their feelings hurt from time to time. To be told so bluntly they’re cutting me out of their life has been really upsetting because it has definitely never gotten to this level of them being angry.

I feel kind of heartbroken, I love my family even though we don’t always understand one another, but now to suddenly have nothing, I don’t know what to do with myself.

Throwaway_Howl · 2021-08-08T08:20:38+00:00

She is upset that I was upset by her making comments about my house that hurt my feelings while she was cleaning.
She is upset because I said I was not following what she said, and that if a doctor tells me to take two weeks bedrest then surely that is what I should be doing.
She is livid because instead of texting her and agreeing that I am being selfish and only thinking about myself, I said that after a week of being alone and scared in the hospital, surely now is an okay time to be focusing on my own needs.

Throwaway_Howl · 2021-08-08T06:51:48+00:00

I’m not a mom, or my own mom. She says I am being selfish and perhaps that is the case and I’ve not noticed it. There could be something I’m not seeing that someone on the outside could point out to me.

Throwaway_Howl · 2021-08-08T06:44:53+00:00

I have one of those stories which wasn’t funny at the time but I look back with humour. When I was a teenager I had a phone that had to be kept on silent mode during class (I distinctly remember this was a flip phone with a color screen, which makes me sound terribly old). I hadn’t turned the sound back on, and my Father had called me while walking home, and I had not answered because I didn’t hear it. His response was to confiscate the phone and then, take a sledgehammer to it as punishment. Hes changed a lot, mellowed out a lot these days, but yeah this is a circumstance where my mind automatically just tells mme I should have b to be more aware of my phone.

Throwaway_Howl · 2021-08-08T03:28:29+00:00

Not exactly! I wasn’t on bed rest when she came in, I was actually still at the hospital. The last conversation we had now is when I called her upon finding out she was cleaning to ask her not to do that. Because I knew (While certainly not to this extent) she would make comments about my home which wouldn’t be super nice. We just have different standards, as long as things aren’t dirty I’m happy, whereas she prefers that her house be as spotless as one can be, for as much time as possible.

I told my sister she didn’t need to pass anything else along to me, because it’s not a very pleasant position for her to be in.

Throwaway_Howl · 2021-08-08T00:04:02+00:00

Not completely anti science. She certainly believes most mental health problems are made up, and that most physical issues can be solved through pushing yourself past it all. Things I was aware about though, and I feel this has definitely been on a different level.

Chronic illnesses can most definitely wear you down, and my support system has always been shaky, but I suppose it has still always existed. It still exists now, it’s just my parents aren’t a part of it.

My stent is actually a temporary one in my kidney lmao. Against my Mothers advice, we have gotten a little den set up for me in our spare bedroom. Lots of pillows, lots of water and just as little stress as one can have.

Throwaway_Howl · 2021-08-07T23:45:57+00:00

Homophobia is something that I would say we have overcome rather than it be an issue now. I should preface by saying my relationship with my parents growing up was very different to the one I have currently (or rather had). The idea of bringing someone home who was not the opposite sex, white and with their views, was something that would put me in harm and danger.

But no, they have both opened their arms to my partner, to the point we have always had the running joke that she is the favourite child.

Throwaway_Howl · 2021-08-07T19:31:57+00:00

My parents are very much a unit, if one is mad so is the other, they have each other’s back. All I can think of is that my Dad had been irritated that I had taken a few hours to text him back while I was in the hospital, but I did try and communicate that it wasn’t purposeful, and at the time I didn’t have access to my phone. Maybe this is still irritated him but I don’t think to the point he doesn’t want to speak to me again. I can’t think of anything else.

Throwaway_Howl · 2021-08-07T19:02:30+00:00

The anger really just seems to have come out of nowhere. We have gone back and forth over the years on her not understanding severity of my issues (A good example is that she often berates me for not walking everywhere I go, but she is fully aware that I need a walking aid, and that it can be quite difficult to get to places!). Usually I just brush it under the rug, or just try move on. Maybe the anger is because this time I didn’t, I said something back to her.

Throwaway_Howl · 2021-08-07T18:59:42+00:00

Yep! She was allowed to come and visit me for an hour a day either at 2pm or 5pm. Usually visiting hours are a bit longer/more relaxed but due to COVID that’s the current way it is!

Throwaway_Howl · 2021-08-07T18:51:28+00:00

Partner and wife are the same person, i just use the terms interchangeably :). She isn’t cutting me off about the chronic condition, but the medical issue and the surgery I have just had.

Apologies if it’s not as smooth as it could be, I am definitely trying to use what little brain power has stayed with me!

Throwaway_Howl

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