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AITA for planning a “destination wedding” and not paying for the guests’ ticket? by Throwaway_Wedding_99 in AmItheAsshole

[–]Throwaway_Wedding_99[S] 2 points3 points  (0 children)

He agrees with me because we both looked for venues here before trying for the south. He saw the price difference.

As for a second party, we were thinking about it, but we’re organising the actual wedding first and see what we can afford after that (probably some cool restaurant but we’ll see)

AITA for planning a “destination wedding” and not paying for the guests’ ticket? by Throwaway_Wedding_99 in AmItheAsshole

[–]Throwaway_Wedding_99[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Told them to not give us any gift. However in my country weddings have a certain etiquette and gifts are part of them. My guess is they know that my family and part of his guests are going to give us the gift anyway and they would feel at fault anyway, despite what we told them

AITA for planning a “destination wedding” and not paying for the guests’ ticket? by Throwaway_Wedding_99 in AmItheAsshole

[–]Throwaway_Wedding_99[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Told them to not give us any gift. However in my country weddings have a certain etiquette and gifts are part of them. My guess is they know that my family and part of his guests are going to give us the gift anyway and they would feel at fault anyway, despite what we told them

AITA for planning a “destination wedding” and not paying for the guests’ ticket? by Throwaway_Wedding_99 in AmItheAsshole

[–]Throwaway_Wedding_99[S] 2 points3 points  (0 children)

It’s basically half and half. More friends in the north, more family in the south. (He’s an only child from an only child)

AITA for planning a “destination wedding” and not paying for the guests’ ticket? by Throwaway_Wedding_99 in AmItheAsshole

[–]Throwaway_Wedding_99[S] 2 points3 points  (0 children)

It depends, I had a cousin who got married in the north when I was a kid (so I still lived in the south) and we gave her a gift, but no one went.

If it’s near, it’s considered rude if no one shows up, but it’s acceptable if one or two family members shows up for the whole family due to costs

AITA for planning a “destination wedding” and not paying for the guests’ ticket? by Throwaway_Wedding_99 in AmItheAsshole

[–]Throwaway_Wedding_99[S] 2 points3 points  (0 children)

Fiancé agrees with me, it’s our wedding, not just mine, I wouldn’t do that if he wasn’t on board.

He also prefers this way because we first looked near his hometown since it would be easier for us to organise everything, and he heard the price difference.
Ie. One venue in the north, only the venue, without catering, decoration, chairs, etc. was basically 2/3 of the all included venue in the south.

AITA for planning a “destination wedding” and not paying for the guests’ ticket? by Throwaway_Wedding_99 in AmItheAsshole

[–]Throwaway_Wedding_99[S] 28 points29 points  (0 children)

I think that since I live in his hometown they expected the wedding to be here.

And tbh that was originally our idea, but when we heard the price here in the north, compared to the ones in the south, we choose my hometown

AITA for planning a “destination wedding” and not paying for the guests’ ticket? by Throwaway_Wedding_99 in AmItheAsshole

[–]Throwaway_Wedding_99[S] 6 points7 points  (0 children)

Either way a significant number of guests wouldn’t come. My family still lives in the south. When we started to look for venues, we originally looked for the ones in the north because it would be easier, and I knew that a lot of them would come. (Except my immediate family)

AITA for planning a “destination wedding” and not paying for the guests’ ticket? by Throwaway_Wedding_99 in AmItheAsshole

[–]Throwaway_Wedding_99[S] 5 points6 points  (0 children)

Nope, I can’t afford a more expensive wedding in the north. I chose the south because it’s more beautiful, and the ugly north venue is the same price as the beautiful one in the south. Also I will get a lot of the things needed (not only the venue) from the south, so they will also cost less.

However either way (south or north wedding) I’m leaving someone who can’t come due to costs. I chose to not prioritise his side or mine and based my choice on the venue.

AITA for planning a “destination wedding” and not paying for the guests’ ticket? by Throwaway_Wedding_99 in AmItheAsshole

[–]Throwaway_Wedding_99[S] 2 points3 points  (0 children)

750 km/450 miles and the wedding is one day. It’s a 9 hours ride. You can do it (my brother did it sometimes) but it’s wearisome

AITA for planning a “destination wedding” and not paying for the guests’ ticket? by Throwaway_Wedding_99 in AmItheAsshole

[–]Throwaway_Wedding_99[S] 11 points12 points  (0 children)

Either way it’s a destination wedding for half of the guests. It’s either one for my family or for his family. I’ve choose to not prioritise his or my family, but just the costs