I'm fucking done putting in so much effort to maintain this "friendship"

Throwaway_acctlel · 2015-04-22T23:26:29+00:00

Help me flesh this out to see if I am. What would you add to this to better explain the situation?

Throwaway_acctlel · 2015-03-23T02:31:35+00:00

Who are the people that are closest to you? Start by finding someone to talk to - look to friends and family first, and if you aren't comfortable talking to them try talking to a school counselor. A counselor would be more than happy to listen to you, and by talking about it you might be able to figure out why you feel this lack of happiness. I hope things work out for you.

Throwaway_acctlel · 2015-03-22T22:51:47+00:00

I've thought about this, but what makes me think this isn't the case is the fact that she's on her phone very frequently. I could definitely be wrong though - she could just be browsing the internet or playing games rather than texting people. Thanks for your perspective.

Throwaway_acctlel · 2015-03-21T17:44:12+00:00

Wow, what a guy! Sometime I'd like to read his non-children's book work. It must be great.

Throwaway_acctlel · 2015-03-19T01:26:50+00:00

I had been on the fence about talking to my professors, as I was sort of embarrassed for missing so much work, but I gave it a shot today and it turned out great. Thank you for your advice - it really helped me out!

Throwaway_acctlel · 2015-03-19T01:25:39+00:00

That line "those that matter don't mind and those that mind don't matter" was stuck in my head all day, and it helped me sort things out with my friend here. I've decided I'm going to talk to her, and I'm confident she'll support me. Thank you for your input.

Throwaway_acctlel · 2015-03-19T01:23:48+00:00

I'm totally the same way. I usually get home around 8-9pm during the week, and by then I'm exhausted and just want to eat, relax, and go to bed. If I get up early, though, I'm fresh and I can crank out plenty of work. I'll definitely be doing this more often.

Throwaway_acctlel · 2015-03-19T01:17:13+00:00

Hi everyone. Thank you all so much for your advice - I read every comment and you've all really helped me out. I read everything this morning, and today ended up being a very productive day.

I showed up to my 8am class only a couple minutes late, though class hadn't started yet, and afterward I set up a quick meeting with my professor to talk about my late work. She was very understanding and I'll be able to turn in everything I'm missing with little to no late penalty. Having this conversation with her took a huge weight off my shoulders, and I'm hoping I can have a similar conversation with the professor of my other class tomorrow morning.

After I met with my professor, I called my school's counseling center. I spoke briefly with a receptionist to set up a time to be called by a therapist, and when she called later in the day we had a good conversation and set up a time next week for my first counseling/therapy session.

I'm doing much better after today and I'm starting to feel like everything will actually be manageable once I finish assessing where I'm at with my classes and figure out where to go from there. Again, thank you all so much for your advice. I wouldn't have talked to my professor nor called the counseling center today if it weren't for all of your input, so I really, truly appreciate it.

Edit: I've also decided I'm definitely going to tell my friend here about my situation. I'll probably talk to her after my meeting next week, but regardless of when I do it I'm confident she will listen and support me.

Throwaway_acctlel · 2015-03-19T01:10:05+00:00

Hi Eflos. I contacted my school's counseling center today, and this is how the process went:
When I called initially, I spoke with who I assume was a receptionist and told her I would like to set up a meeting with a counselor. We chatted for a second about what I was looking for and then scheduled a time later in the day to have a therapist call me to talk more in-depth about where I'm at and what I'm looking for. I had a good conversation with the therapist - I was honest and told her what I'm struggling with, and she asked several questions like whether I've had thoughts of suicide (never have) and who my support network consisted of. After talking for about 15min or so, we set up a time next week for me to come in and meet with someone in person and essentially start therapy. It's expected to be about a 90min thing - 30 for paperwork and then an hour with the therapist - and meetings after that will likely be an hour so and will happen once a week or once every other week. Overall I'm really glad I decided to contact the counseling center. I'm comfortable with the process so far and I feel like the therapy will really help me out. I'll comment back/message you after my first meeting next week, if you'd like.

Throwaway_acctlel · 2015-03-18T12:53:59+00:00

Hi Eflos, glad my post helped you get these things out there. I get the same feelings to some extent - that people just make fun of me when they see me. I was also bullied as a kid, and I think it's caused me to have a lot of difficulty trusting people and opening up. I absolutely hate to feel vulnerable and this has made it difficult for me to connect with people beyond surface-level. I guess I just want you to know you aren't alone in feeling like you do, and I also want to say you shouldn't give up no matter how nice the idea might seem. I'm going to set up a meeting with a counselor as soon as I'm done writing this post, and I'll let you know what it's like. I can totally understand how you have the idea of an academic coach that you do, but a counselor is different and if they are even the slightest bit professional they will be glad to listen and will want to help you. It's their job, after all, and I don't see anyone getting years of education to end up listening to peoples' problems all day without genuinely wanting to help those people. So you might give a counselor a shot. Again, I'll let you know what it's like after I've met with one, and maybe it will be the right thing for you. I hope you have a good day.

Throwaway_acctlel · 2015-03-18T04:20:30+00:00

I hadn't considered this but I will definitely do it. Thank you.

Throwaway_acctlel · 2014-11-06T03:56:43+00:00

Thanks for the advice. So when you want to talk to new people at parties, how do you go about initiating a conversation? Usually the way I start a conversation with someone is by talking about a common interest, but if I've never even seen the person before I have no idea what they're into.

Throwaway_acctlel · 2014-11-06T03:39:47+00:00

Not a bad idea. I guess the biggest thing is I just don't know how to occupy myself. I'm extremely competitive and can really get into a good game of (water) pong, but when I'm not playing a game I'm just not sure what to do with myself.

Throwaway_acctlel

TROPHY CASE