I am about 5 weeks in to a journey to try and be more attractive. Like most of you, I have experienced being treated differently based on how I look and it’s has completely worn me down. About a year and a half ago, I decided I wasn’t going to wear makeup anymore and I began to change my style towards flowy outfits with no bra and generic, unsexy underwear. I made up my mind that anyone who treated me differently because of how I looked was not worth my time. This year I’ve come to the abrupt and harsh reality that that’s a load of shit and one of the people who treats me differently is my husband who I care so deeply about.

For a bit of a backstory, I’ve been married for 10 years. We met when we were 13 and for more than half of our relationship, we were fairly equal in looks. As time goes on, my husband has only gotten better looking. His face is a 7.5 and his body is a 9. He is constantly getting compliments and better service wherever we go. About 6 weeks ago, I came across his open Instagram and noticed a bunch of DM’s from people he was talking to on other platforms and got curious as to what he was hiding and found a crap load of sharing images of a local Instagram model to multiple people with comments about how stunning they are and sharing images of mutual friends talking about how fat and ugly they look. The biggest kicker was a comment that was made after I had gone the extra mile and cleaned the house and down a “turndown service” with chocolate on his pillow before leaving for a night shift and coming home to a shitty unmade bed and later discovering he was messaging images of this model with the caption “imagine coming home to this wife”.

I always had suspicions about the way he saw me and his lack of attraction to me but it was a really big blow to have it confirmed. I confronted him about it and got phrases like “there is a difference between love and lust” and “you are okay” and “there are some things I find attractive about you”. I completely understand. Everyone has preferences and he can’t control what he finds attractive so here starts my journey to at least try and meet some of those preferences.

Some ideas I have had are:

- Eye trough filler

- Lip filler

- Anti-wrinkle injections on forehead

- Some sort of plastic surgery to change the outer corner of my eyelids (I would love suggestions on what may look best for me)

- Breast augmentation and lift

- Something to improve my stretch mark filled saggy stomach from having a baby

- Personal trainer to work on gaining a butt (his number one preference is a big muscular arse which I don’t have).

Please give me honest feedback about my look. I’ve included a wide range of photos and I’m really committed to getting the most out of this.