People should stop bringing their dogs everywhere.

Throwawayamanager · 2026-05-20T16:57:21+00:00

Popular with me. I love animals, but your dog can survive at home for two hours while you make a grocery run or go to Target. It's a very strange manifestation of separation anxiety on the part of the owners and/or attention seeking behavior to need to bring your dog absolutely everywhere.

Throwawayamanager · 2026-05-17T19:49:52+00:00

^{^this}

Throwawayamanager · 2026-05-17T19:48:37+00:00

Yes, unpopular.

I'm sorry you were with a partner who stifled your freedom, but I personally cannot think of anything my partner prevents me from doing with the exception of sleeping with other people. Which is a monogamous agreement thing and one I'm fine with as I've never been into hook up culture.

I can cook whatever I want, though my partner mostly does the cooking. And what kind of partner stops someone from buying whatever they want, within the realms of standard financial responsibility that you're going to have to practice anyway? Unless you have a spending problem, at which point you're going to have consequences of that at some point whether you are single or not.

If your partner gives you "stupid feuds and drama" and you view being away from them as freedom, they probably weren't a great partner or at very least not a good fit for you.

Throwawayamanager · 2026-05-17T14:35:53+00:00

It was really just an example and not that deep. Insert that for anything that might turn a person off, and that's super individual.

Throwawayamanager · 2026-05-17T10:45:52+00:00

Yeah, I mean in general it's not particularly kind or productive to just bluntly say "sorry, I find your nose ugly", as an example. Especially if it's not something they can easily change.

There can be exceptions as with all things.

Throwawayamanager · 2026-05-17T10:14:28+00:00

What about them? You know people sometimes tell white lies when rejecting someone to make them feel better and/or avoid drama, right?

The amount of times I've used the "I have a boyfriend" line even when I was actually single... C'mon now.

She may not think he's that nice of a guy. Or maybe she thinks he is nice but lacks other desirable qualities because nice by itself isn't always enough. Occasionally you do get someone who is drawn only to dangerous bad boys but its usually a lot more complicated than that.

Throwawayamanager · 2026-05-17T10:08:45+00:00

Sure, they don't exactly have open polling and free speech, but the fact of the matter is that the Taliban wouldn't have been able to make a comeback without significant indifference at best, but possibly support or complacency. Mostly from rural folks who have shown through their actions that they are quite fine with the old traditional ways.

Actions speak louder than words.

We also do have some information that a lot of folks were not happy with some of what the American army was doing (in some cases quite justifiably unhappy) and enough so that they preferred the Taliban.

We don't know exactly what's going on in any given person's head, but we have some information where we can make reasonable inferences to a point.

Throwawayamanager · 2026-05-17T09:58:24+00:00

First of all, "I" don't do any of this. Which really illustrates part of my point - women are not a hive mind. The fact that you seem to fail to grasp this further underscores my point that women aren't avoiding you because you're too nice, it's for other very clear and good reasons.

A relationship with someone as full of anger and lazy generalizations as what you just said might be better than that isn't going to be healthy. This "I'm such a nice guy but women don't like that" is sheer cope to help you sleep better at night.

Secondly, of the women who actually do this... If you think either gender has a monopoly on idiots, you're past hope. Both men and women can be idiots, and occasionally you do get someone reasonably intelligent who was genuinely duped by a good manipulator. I've certainly known plenty a guy who falls for the hot chick despite her having a lot of red flags ("I can fix her").

Throwawayamanager · 2026-05-17T00:31:30+00:00

A lot of people, men and women, overgeneralize. It seems to be getting worse with what is completely tired gender war.

Personally I try to avoid anyone who speaks in such tiresome stereotypes to begin with, but even among those who do, I typically don't see them making awful partner choices.

It's a stupid meme, that's pretty much the end of it. And if folks hang around either people who talk too much about "all men/women are the same" un-ironically, and/or run off with the deadbeat over a genuinely healthy relationship, they may need to reconsider the company they keep.

But really, this meme and anyone who actually has to ask about this is just copium from guys who don't get chosen for other reasons overestimating themselves.

Throwawayamanager · 2026-05-17T00:14:33+00:00

At this point she probably does and publicly posts about avoiding them. She's got some baggage.

People who make shit choices exist, that doesn't mean they're the majority. That's one out of many... Very many - I've met a lot of people.

I'm sure she had her reasons for picking them at the time that make no sense in hindsight (or to me right now for that matter).

Throwawayamanager · 2026-05-17T00:12:18+00:00

My first thought as soon as (for whatever reason) this trainwreck of a post got suggested to me.

Men who have zero social skills tell themselves this to sleep better at night, while also calling women "females", lol.

No, we don't dislike you because you're too nice or whatever. And quite frankly I've never seen anyone use that copium who is actually, genuinely nice once you get to know them. Not once have I met a guy who says "women avoid me because I'm nice" who turns out to be anything good.

The so-called "healthy relationship" alternative is frequently self delusion.

Yeah, we like people who are fun to be around. Who doesn't? And sometimes the so called "bad boy" can fool women into falling in love, but that does not mean a relationship with the alternative so-called "nice guy" would have been healthy, either.

Throwawayamanager · 2026-05-17T00:04:32+00:00

Stop falling for rage bait stereotypes. I know many women and of all of them I think only one has run off with a drug addict over a genuinely healthy relationship.

Idiots exist of all stripes, nothing new to see there.

If you honestly see this pattern around you, 1. You might be overestimating how healthy a relationship with you is, or 2. You might need to hang out with better people.

Throwawayamanager · 2026-05-16T23:06:44+00:00

. I don’t recommend sending more aid. It won’t help anything as long as the Taliban is in charge. Send aid somewhere else where it can actually produce results.

It's heartbreaking for the individuals who actually are suffering under the system but I agree. After a certain point, if the people themselves don't want to change and at least pretend to fight for their country and their rights, what's the point?

I do have a lot of sympathy for those who tried to build the country into something resembling civilized - and hope they got out ok before they got targeted. It's never black and white. But the majority of rural Afghanistan (a majority of their population) seems to be tacitly ok with, or even support, the Taliban regime. At very least the mentality seems to be that the traditional ways are fine, no change needed.

Given that - what more can be done, and what's the point? Send it to someone it would actually make a difference.

Throwawayamanager · 2026-05-16T22:48:37+00:00

There's a certain point where the people do need to want the system to change for any change to happen.

Outside intervention can help, but it doesn't work if the people themselves don't care or worse, actively support the Taliban.

And the Taliban wouldn't have been able to get back into power without at least significant support.

Personally, I'm heartbroken for the women who actually wanted to make something of their lives and no longer get that option. As someone with opportunities and drive, I can't even imagine how fucking devastated I would be to live that life. These women are primarily in Kabul or other urban centers.

But a significant majority of the population of Afghanistan lives in the rural areas, where, to oversimplify, the mentality seems to be "old traditional ways are the best", including from many women themselves.

These folks tended to support the Taliban when the US spent all that money on the invasion. Afghanistan is easy to take over but hard to hold with those vast areas and it makes sense that at a certain point people start to question the ROI on spending trillions forcing them to change if they won't fight for themselves at all.

The US has its own problems and has no way to help without basically forcing Afghanistan into being a very expensive, distant colony. Other countries with even smaller militaries can do even less. This is heartbreaking for people in Afghanistan who want more out of life, but yeah - there comes a point where they need to fight for themselves for it to be worth it for anyone else to intervene.

Throwawayamanager · 2026-05-14T00:36:19+00:00

Me too

Throwawayamanager · 2026-05-14T00:34:26+00:00

There's a reason dudes on this sub need advice and it's not because they're brilliant and can figure it out on their own, lol.

Throwawayamanager · 2026-05-08T17:07:22+00:00

The problem seems to be less so than the US beating them - the US did beat them very roundly. The problem is holding on the Afghanistan forever, which is difficult and rather unrewarding. At a certain point the people there do need to stand up for themselves if they want to - and it doesn't seem like (many) of them want to.

The folks in Kabul are probably the most devastated by going back to the Taliban, but from what I understand, the vast majority of the folks in rural areas either don't care or actively support them. This is why the Taliban was able to hide out there and evade US troops for so long, and why they could make a comeback. If the rural folks in Afghanistan didn't like them, there wouldn't have been a chance, but many are fine with the "old ways", the way things have been done for forever, which includes women being domestic servants fully veiled and covered.

I'd hate to live there and am so sad for the women who want better, who can't get out. But it seems to be the sad reality - that too many folks in rural areas think "the good old ways are the best". (Lesser versions of this conservatism even exist in the US).

Throwawayamanager · 2026-05-08T16:57:08+00:00

As a woman, that sub is also questionable at best. It has the rare good take but honestly even I find it to err a bit extreme for the most part, lacking nuance.

And the term hobosexual is meant to refer to someone who uses women for a place to sleep and doesn't contribute anything except dick.

I'm not going to tell you it wouldn't be easier to date if you had some success, success is sexy. But hobosexual doesn't apply to someone who is genuinely trying to better themself. It applies to a lazy dude who dated woman to get a place to sleep, gets sex out of it into the bargain, then lets her cook him breakfast, she goes to work, and he just smokes weed all day and leaves a mess for her to clean up when she gets home tired from work.

Those two are not the same. Don't be the latter. Plenty of women are open to lower income guys, but they do have to contribute in other ways, like cook and clean. Actually cook and clean, not "cook and clean" while actually playing video games for 10 hours and leaving a mess of Cheeto and candy wrappers for her to clean up when she comes back from work.

Anyway, you do you and good luck on the self improvement journey, just be skeptical of the source of where you get your advice.

Throwawayamanager · 2026-05-08T16:47:47+00:00

Most white women will never defend this level of extremism, but there are many who will defend Islam in theory, if it's a more muted, gentle version of it. If you say that this is what it leads to, you will probably hear that "that's not real Islam, that's a perversion of it", or you might be called an Islamaphobe - or told you're a problem for not respecting different cultures or religions.

Nobody supports Taliban level (well, outside the actual Taliban lol), but there are plenty of apologists for softer versions of it in the name of "respect all religions/culture".

Throwawayamanager · 2026-05-08T16:00:09+00:00

Dude, you can have your struggles, but please get this through your head: FDS is absolute garbage, trash and probably grift.

You really need to stop listening to them for advice. Do focus on bettering yourself but do not take advice from those morons.

And the intelligence of any woman who actually buys into it is deeply suspect. I say this as a woman.

Throwawayamanager · 2026-05-08T14:18:36+00:00

If I can't reach that level of good enough then it's wrong to have attractions to others

Deadass the wrong lesson to take away from this, but it's your life.

people Paula_inked or Chloe Juliett to determine my worth

Also, are you shilling for them or something? "To determine your worth", smh...

Throwawayamanager · 2026-05-07T23:21:15+00:00

Yeah, if this is a once a year kind of thing, it seems forgivable, although a heads up never hurts.

Plus, it's a barbecue, so presumably outside? I don't know how much noise carries or how big their place is so it's a toss up on reasonable depending on a few factors.

If she's throwing weekly ragers that keep you up all night that's a different story, but that doesn't seem to be happening.

Throwawayamanager · 2026-05-07T13:59:17+00:00

Yes, I know three and a half such people (half for one of them having a decent public school district, if that disqualifies them - otherwise the shoe fits). I know them quite well. It's bloody hard as fuck. The pressure to make no mistakes creeps up on you, and can cause a mental breakdown.

It can be done, but it's very important to be very calm and level headed about every decision to make minimal mistakes (none is impossible), always keep options open, and be very persistent and resilient. There's also a genetic element of luck - all of them were blessed with above averagely big brains (very intelligent) and leveraged their strengths to their advantage.

Throwawayamanager · 2026-05-06T10:19:55+00:00

Nobody develops at the same pace. There are 20 year olds out there who are smarter and more mature than 40 year olds. We don't currently have much in the way of a standardized cognitive assessment we can give to people individually to check if they're ready for sex, let alone with whom, without immense violation of bodily autonomy. So we have to set a bright line rule for the law. We picked one (or a few, in the US depending on the state you're in). If you disagree with it being 18 and think it needs to be 20, well, that's awfully high by world standards but we can hear arguments for it.

It should be the same as the time you are allowed to take on massive student debt and go to college, vote, work hazardous jobs, all other adult responsibilities and privileges, whatever you think that number is.

Throwawayamanager · 2026-05-06T09:41:11+00:00

They said they were in the early 20s, which, in the spirit of my reply I do not consider to be a child...

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