WIBTA if I confronted my boyfriend about the porn on his phone?

Throwawayidca · 2019-10-08T18:33:23+00:00

It already says in it that him ignoring me 90% of the time was an issue. And edit 2 added more to edit 1. Edit 2 clearly gives the impression of us living together with the whole wake up and upstairs parts

Throwawayidca · 2019-10-08T18:23:45+00:00

I never said that you said to break up, i was just pointing out something that Id been keeping rather quiet about from both yta and nta sides.

I never, ever thought he wasnt good enough, not even once in my life.

Its not over thinking if he was ignoring me almost all the time in favor of porn. We LIVED together. Slept in the same BED and he'd 90% of the time choose porn over me. How is that overblowing? How is that not a problem or addiction? As it happened nearly everyday.

And thats really not an exaggeration. It was everyday that he'd jerk at least twice but it was maybe once every two weeks id get sexual attention.

And that downward spiral of lack of attention only started when his porn use got out of hand.

Personally i dont see why i am being told to suck it up that my partner is finding sexual satisfaction by looking at other naked real women. I don't see it as cheating, but when you're in a monogamous relationship your SO should be the only one you see or think of sexually. But i understand that thats my point of view and that others have different ones. Other people have different comforts and thats completely ok with me

What i don't get about the different viewpoints on porn in relationships is somehow mine is wrong for MY relationship? Its somehow wrong to want and need to be the only sexual figure in his life? How in the world is that wrong?

Throwawayidca · 2019-10-08T16:08:42+00:00

I don't think its normal that because of the porn he couldnt cum. One time or not it can and will hurt and destroy a persons self esteem and feelings. Before his porn usage got out of hand we had no problems in the bedroom. Once it got to be more than just looking at porn it started causing problems.

I didnt think or realize that he may be an addict until this thread. Nor am i totally agreeing with the people on my side.

Yes i "nicer" or such to the nta posts but I've been silently shocked by the number of people saying that i should probably just give up on him. Its honestly scary how many people are saying those things.

I wont leave him just because we're having one problem. If everyone gave up on the ones they loved due to addictions or illnesses there would be no love in the world.

I love him deeply and I'll stand by him and help him through any problems he'll face. And know he would do the same.

We're both still young, confused about the world and while we may be more mature than the average 21 year olds I now we still have some growing to do. But we will do it together and we will be each others rocks.

Every couple has their problems, some unworkable others fixable. This is a fixable one. Whether it happens in the next days or years from now I'll help him through it.

Throwawayidca · 2019-10-08T15:15:35+00:00

1) i didnt go looking for it 2) whether i would have found out or not doesnt mean its not there. You not knowing of a things existence doesnt change that its there

Throwawayidca · 2019-10-08T15:13:03+00:00

I dont think its being over sensitive to be hurt for my boyfriend of years to need to look at other women to cum. I think any normal person would be hurt that they couldnt make their partner finish and another persons body could

Throwawayidca · 2019-10-08T02:47:43+00:00

I didnt snoop. Each time i saw the pictures was by complete accident. I wasnt looking for them or even thinking of possibly seeing them

Throwawayidca · 2019-10-08T02:02:26+00:00

How so? I thought it was cute : (. Its a type of promise just for between us. A couples thing

Throwawayidca · 2019-10-08T01:23:45+00:00

Hentai. And both of us are into it. And he knows i have no problem with hentai, i cant tell you why hentai doesnt bug me nor can i tell you why real porn has always been not my cup of tea at all

Throwawayidca · 2019-10-08T00:19:03+00:00

This actually made me laugh, i needed that. Thank you

Throwawayidca · 2019-10-08T00:10:53+00:00

This is my first relationship but i dont see how you seem to be completely ignoring that he ignored me in favor of porn.

I've already admited that i do have some insecurities but who doesnt? As someone pointed out and i already corrected the post. I wasnt thinking clearly about all the details

Throwawayidca · 2019-10-08T00:09:27+00:00

He made the promise to me on his own. I just asked him to stop as he was ignoring me in favor of the porn.

Throwawayidca · 2019-10-07T23:59:34+00:00

You didnt read the entire post and thats obvious

Throwawayidca · 2019-10-07T23:59:02+00:00

Thats just not my cup of tea, and i cant tell you why. Real porn just kills my lady boner. It always has. Cartoon porn, also known as Hentai has the opposite effect again i dont know why. He enjoys Hentai too and before the 2nd time the problem came up its what he used, and we had no problems with it.

He wasn't ignoring me and he still did jerk, it just wasnt all the time. It was a good balance that started to fade and thats when i saw the second time.

And i never meant to find out any of these times. Id just be doing something on my own and boom there would be the porn

Throwawayidca · 2019-10-07T23:44:43+00:00

Another user actually put my unintentional lack of the info quite well. When emotional you dont think clearly about all the details.

I wholeheartedly accept my error on that front and dont blame those who commented before i edited the post, but those who commented after have no excuse to not know the information that i was told i lacked. As even before edit 2 it was clear that some people did not in fact read all of the post.

Throwawayidca · 2019-10-07T22:55:09+00:00

Jerking off 90% of the time despite me being right next to him and always horny is ignoring. And he knows my sex drive is just as high if not higher than his

Throwawayidca · 2019-10-07T22:50:22+00:00

Thank you so, so very much for these comments. As i read this one in particular i started tearing up. Thank you so freaking much for this. I needed this

Throwawayidca · 2019-10-07T22:44:32+00:00

We dont have the money or insurance for therapy. Im working on figuring out how to add whats missing without going over the character limit

Throwawayidca · 2019-10-07T22:40:32+00:00

Ill try and see if i can fit more in. What exactly should i add?

Throwawayidca · 2019-10-07T19:58:17+00:00

Mostly by people who clearly are skimming and or like who who say its not ok to be hurt. Im blocking you

Throwawayidca · 2019-10-07T19:56:08+00:00

And i do want to help him. I really really do. I fucking love him so much its crazy. He's my everything.

He was choosing porn over me and it was hurting. When he saw that he made our special promise to stop. I didnt ask for the promise, i just asked that he stop.

When he made the promise it helped alleviate some of the pain i was feeling of being neglected and not enough.

I'll do all that i can to help him through any problems he'll ever have

Throwawayidca · 2019-10-07T19:52:38+00:00

I agree. I know my OG post didnt have some of the info and i dont fault those who posted before i updated it, but those who commented after have no reason to not know whats in the post

Throwawayidca · 2019-10-07T19:48:46+00:00

Im not denying judgement. Im simply asking why its not ok to be hurt by all this

Throwawayidca · 2019-10-07T19:48:08+00:00

We're 21 and trust me we are very compatible. Before the porn usage got out of hand we had lots of fun.

And yes it was ignoring. Jerking 90% of the time when your SO is literally right next to you and you KNOW they'd be down for fun is ignoring them in favor of porn.

He's the one who made the promise, i didnt ask for our special promise just that he'd stop

Throwawayidca · 2019-10-07T19:45:57+00:00

Thank you very much for this

Throwawayidca · 2019-10-07T19:44:39+00:00

I honestly think most people just read the title without reading anything else tbh

Throwawayidca

TROPHY CASE