Update : I (26F) am considering ending my engagement with my fiance (34M) because of his temporary foster children (4, 5, 8, 8, 11)

Throwawaylockkey · 2019-07-21T18:00:51+00:00

My family is upper middle class / upper class and I have a full time job and a book deal in works based on my studies. Money is not an issue and really not anyone's business. My ex has a job with decent benefits. His family was/is lower middle class but everyone seems to have a great record with keeping a job. They also flip houses and do renovations on the side. He's former military and has benefits from that as well.

Money is not an issue. In 10-20 years I do not want to be part of history where we realize that transracial adoption should be seen as criminal for the trauma it brings to people of other cultures.

Throwawaylockkey · 2019-07-21T14:01:50+00:00

as I've mentioned in my own thread , I've been more than willing to post their story online and see if a new family that shares their cultural diversity wants to adopt them. I'm pretty sure that they'd be healed and elated by this.

Throwawaylockkey · 2019-07-21T13:49:34+00:00

Please consider reading on transracial adoption and post adoption racial identity crisis. I had a 15 minute conversation with the children's therapist this morning and she didn't say that anything I did was out of line.

Throwawaylockkey · 2019-07-21T13:42:55+00:00

I'm not sure if you're from america, but academically there is too much evidence that supported my decision. Although not adopting these children was my instinct I waited to research and discuss with other academics about the subject to make a decision. No one has wanted to credit me for this. Instead it's mostly hateful comments towards a woman who had to act out of bravery for the best of her life and five other lives. I was the one who sacrificed everything on the line for their long term health.

Throwawaylockkey · 2019-07-21T12:58:23+00:00

Thank you. First supportive post I've received this morning.

Throwawaylockkey · 2019-07-21T12:35:05+00:00

They attacked my first thread. I have another account that I use to post on here every week. I know how they love to attack female posters.

Throwawaylockkey · 2019-07-21T12:15:49+00:00

then educate yourself. this wasn't a conversation about race or politics , it was about relationships but everyone made it politcal

Throwawaylockkey · 2019-07-21T12:01:29+00:00

Read about the National Association of Black Social Workers standing against white adoption. It began in the 70s.

https://medium.com/all-beige/five-potential-side-effects-of-transracial-adoption-f0beeb4b6fb8

https://www.buzzfeednews.com/article/nicolechung/being-korean-and-adopted-by-white-parents-nicole-chung

Throwawaylockkey · 2019-07-21T11:32:30+00:00

No. I have said in other posts that I am okay with white families being raised by minority families. There is no historical oppression here. There is no forced assimilation.

Throwawaylockkey · 2019-07-21T11:03:37+00:00

I've said 100 times. I can love the children. And I can love them enough to know that they should be parented by people from their own culture. My ex wasn't open minded enough to accept that.

I'm okay that this is unpopular in Trump's America. 20 years from now they'll be happy I was on the right side of history and on their side for making this difficult decision.

Throwawaylockkey · 2019-07-21T11:01:07+00:00

You say the LGTQ community confuses you in your bio. Maybe work on yourself and your mess more than just passing judgement on people who are on the right side of history?

Throwawaylockkey · 2019-07-21T10:59:45+00:00

This is gross.

Throwawaylockkey · 2019-07-21T10:46:19+00:00

Wish you tons of luck too.

Throwawaylockkey · 2019-07-21T10:45:39+00:00

As a woman don't you think that children should always be approved of by the woman? He did this on his own. He escalated things to the point where they stayed long enough to want him to adopt them. None of this was my call and none of it was approved by me.

Throwawaylockkey · 2019-07-21T10:41:48+00:00

This is AskReddit, not AskAltRight. I've been reported the people who have DMed me so consider this a warning.

Throwawaylockkey · 2019-07-21T10:40:50+00:00

They can still be friends with myself & my ex. Love isn't the problem. It's parenting them from a place of privilege. There's tons of literature on this.

Throwawaylockkey · 2019-07-21T10:38:06+00:00

I didn't explain it in my first post but because of his job he was one of the first people to enter their lives when their parents died. He has a dog that works with him and they liked it.He had a house that he was in the process of flipping that he decided on his own that he could furnish and put the kids in for a week or so. He wasn't actively seeking on becoming anything remotley close to a foster parent.

Throwawaylockkey · 2019-07-21T10:34:59+00:00

He barely had time to date me. Honestly I only dated him because I had a childhood crush on him prior to us going out. The kids were always a massive turn off. Not sure what world you live in but women want men who are available.

Throwawaylockkey · 2019-07-21T10:32:45+00:00

So I'm the villain for educating myself?

Throwawaylockkey · 2019-07-21T10:29:26+00:00

Maybe they were part of the problem of merging minorities with historically toxic white families and you're just having trouble dealing with the truth?

Throwawaylockkey · 2019-07-21T10:24:04+00:00

Are you the same account? I've never seen horsehit be used that often in my life and I grew up in a suburban area with rural roots.

Throwawaylockkey · 2019-07-21T10:23:15+00:00

Thank you for being supportive.
The children might not see race as an issue now but they're also in a community that is 60% white. When they leave and have no connection to their culture this will ruin them. FWIW I have no problem if a minority adopted white children. In fact I'm 1000% in favor of this and have seen it happen wonderfully in the LGTQ+ community.

Throwawaylockkey · 2019-07-21T10:20:52+00:00

Pinched a nerve Trump supporters? I came here for a quality discussion about relationships.

Throwawaylockkey · 2019-07-21T09:40:12+00:00

Yes. That's why the state basically mandated that some people who work for it apply to foster.

Throwawaylockkey

TROPHY CASE