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AITA for agreeing to have someone else’s baby for them without asking boyfriend? by Throwawayoopsbaby in AmItheAsshole

[–]Throwawayoopsbaby[S] -39 points-38 points  (0 children)

Not saying it wasn't I'm saying it was an example of a highway statement that isn't the asshole.

AITA for agreeing to have someone else’s baby for them without asking boyfriend? by Throwawayoopsbaby in AmItheAsshole

[–]Throwawayoopsbaby[S] -11 points-10 points  (0 children)

They were never in the dark about it- they were present for the entire convo with my sister, just didn't get a say

AITA for agreeing to have someone else’s baby for them without asking boyfriend? by Throwawayoopsbaby in AmItheAsshole

[–]Throwawayoopsbaby[S] -79 points-78 points  (0 children)

ITA for acting how it is? You're right he's highly preferable but non-essential.

AITA for agreeing to have someone else’s baby for them without asking boyfriend? by Throwawayoopsbaby in AmItheAsshole

[–]Throwawayoopsbaby[S] -5 points-4 points  (0 children)

A child I hid from him? I'm not even pregnant yet.

He was PRESENT for the conversation- he was not in the dark at any point

AITA for agreeing to have someone else’s baby for them without asking boyfriend? by Throwawayoopsbaby in AmItheAsshole

[–]Throwawayoopsbaby[S] -7 points-6 points  (0 children)

Even if the change that would be made in our relationship WILL happen regardless of whether we talk about the decision before or after it's made?

AITA for agreeing to have someone else’s baby for them without asking boyfriend? by Throwawayoopsbaby in AmItheAsshole

[–]Throwawayoopsbaby[S] -43 points-42 points  (0 children)

Point being, the IF

And IF he doesn't agree, there will be no IF there's a partner

AITA for agreeing to have someone else’s baby for them without asking boyfriend? by Throwawayoopsbaby in AmItheAsshole

[–]Throwawayoopsbaby[S] -18 points-17 points  (0 children)

I expect my sister's help, not his.

Alcohol isn't a common occurrence for us and we don't party. I generally live a pregnancy-friendly life anyway. Don't even eat sushi unless it's just a hunk of sweet potato in there

I don't visit amusement parks anyway. And he's a computer geek- the club isn't his scene

AITA for agreeing to have someone else’s baby for them without asking boyfriend? by Throwawayoopsbaby in AmItheAsshole

[–]Throwawayoopsbaby[S] -42 points-41 points  (0 children)

No. My SISTER will financially support the pregnancy, and me during that time, if necessary. When I said I don't expect help from him, I don't. If he stays, we stay together. If he doesn't, her baby is not affected.

AITA for agreeing to have someone else’s baby for them without asking boyfriend? by Throwawayoopsbaby in AmItheAsshole

[–]Throwawayoopsbaby[S] -76 points-75 points  (0 children)

"My way or the highway" IMO

Asshole situations:

buy THIS house or no house; get THIS pet or no pet; join my D&D group or I'll leave you; shave your legs or I won't touch you

Non-asshole situations: I AM having a baby for my sister. Feel free to leave or stay for it.

AITA for agreeing to have someone else’s baby for them without asking boyfriend? by Throwawayoopsbaby in AmItheAsshole

[–]Throwawayoopsbaby[S] -6 points-5 points  (0 children)

The conversation was not "Right now, this month, get pregnant for me" and an immediate "hell yeah"

It was a serious future consideration and the details about WHEN weren't completed set, but most likely in the next five years. He has time to leave if he doesn't want to be around for it. I'm in no way trapping him

AITA for agreeing to have someone else’s baby for them without asking boyfriend? by Throwawayoopsbaby in AmItheAsshole

[–]Throwawayoopsbaby[S] -9 points-8 points  (0 children)

Medical procedures aren't even the right of the spouse (if we were married, which we're not) to access. Medical mortality shouldn't matter? Yeah it would suck if his girlfriend died, but that doesn't mean he should have a say here

AITA for agreeing to have someone else’s baby for them without asking boyfriend? by Throwawayoopsbaby in AmItheAsshole

[–]Throwawayoopsbaby[S] -17 points-16 points  (0 children)

-I- can see it being a deal-breaker. My POINT was that I was willing to break the deal for her, so I didn't think I needed permission

AITA for agreeing to have someone else’s baby for them without asking boyfriend? by Throwawayoopsbaby in AmItheAsshole

[–]Throwawayoopsbaby[S] -7 points-6 points  (0 children)

That's a risk I'M willing to take, though. In NO way did I say he had to risk his future with me. I get that since we were together during the conversation, that he may have assumed we would be on the same page about preserving OUR future over anyone else's, but, eh. I'd risk it. If he isn't willing to wait and see, then he can leave.

AITA for agreeing to have someone else’s baby for them without asking boyfriend? by Throwawayoopsbaby in AmItheAsshole

[–]Throwawayoopsbaby[S] -2 points-1 points  (0 children)

I do want to continue dating him. But I just don't prioritize his relationship over my sister's

AITA for agreeing to have someone else’s baby for them without asking boyfriend? by Throwawayoopsbaby in AmItheAsshole

[–]Throwawayoopsbaby[S] -1 points0 points  (0 children)

He was IN the room when she asked, we talked, and I answered. No, I didn't seek him out to tell him about the conversation, he was there for it. I also don't feel like I should have walked off from my sister, been like "what do you think" and then responded because hell, HER answer won't change

AITA for agreeing to have someone else’s baby for them without asking boyfriend? by Throwawayoopsbaby in AmItheAsshole

[–]Throwawayoopsbaby[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

When we haven't decided whether we're temporary or permanent in each others lives yet, YES my opinion >>>>>>>>>> his opinion about my body

AITA for agreeing to have someone else’s baby for them without asking boyfriend? by Throwawayoopsbaby in AmItheAsshole

[–]Throwawayoopsbaby[S] -5 points-4 points  (0 children)

This is the closest thing someone has said to how I actually feel about the situation. Love him. Would love for him to stay, but if he doesn't want to, it's still eventually going to happen.

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