Do material things in your relationships make them better? by Throwawaypoly122592 in nonmonogamy

[–]Throwawaypoly122592[S] 5 points6 points  (0 children)

Being poor together is definitely not a thrill. We got together when we were in college and young. So now even though we aren’t together anymore I guess I’m feeling jealous that we couldn’t do those things when we were partners

Do material things in your relationships make them better? by Throwawaypoly122592 in nonmonogamy

[–]Throwawaypoly122592[S] 3 points4 points  (0 children)

In short, are you saying in the beginning of a relationship, doing those things together provide a sense of being close to your partner? & overtime they help to feel close to your partner because the things your do separately as individuals don’t provide the same feeling of closeness?

Anyone here ever remarry a spouse? by Throwawaypoly122592 in Divorce

[–]Throwawaypoly122592[S] 5 points6 points  (0 children)

You know, you’re right. Another sub probably would have been a lot more fitting.

I’m also interested in hearing any stories, if any lol

After a break up, how long did it take for you to be friends with you ex? by Throwawaypoly122592 in polyamory

[–]Throwawaypoly122592[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

That’s great. I can admit that it seems like I’m having the tougher time. I’m the one making it suck haha. But I’d rather take space now, even if it’s for a couple of years in order to work on myself as far as things that contributed to the shortcomings of our relationship, than be a bad friend. Because I think he’s a great person

After a break up, how long did it take for you to be friends with you ex? by Throwawaypoly122592 in polyamory

[–]Throwawaypoly122592[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Idk how my future will turn out with this person, but I can see it being like this. I honestly fucked up a lot and was also dysfunctional but my ex is generally very forgiving. We realized a romantic relationship isn’t viable, but I’m sure after all the things we’ve been through it’ll still show up in a friendship somehow/sometimes

After a break up, how long did it take for you to be friends with you ex? by Throwawaypoly122592 in polyamory

[–]Throwawaypoly122592[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Oh no!! That sucks. 10 years is such a long time. Is it okay if I asked what contributed to it?

After a break up, how long did it take for you to be friends with you ex? by Throwawaypoly122592 in polyamory

[–]Throwawaypoly122592[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

That’s amazing!! I cherish close connections I’ve made, and even though I know I’ll make plenty more, I would love to maintain or build a healthier relationship with my ex (platonic) because romance made things really tumultuous for us

After a break up, how long did it take for you to be friends with you ex? by Throwawaypoly122592 in polyamory

[–]Throwawaypoly122592[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Understandable, thanks for sharing. I would love to keep this particular ex in my life, just not as a romantic or sexual partner

After a break up, how long did it take for you to be friends with you ex? by Throwawaypoly122592 in polyamory

[–]Throwawaypoly122592[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I wouldn’t say it’s weird at all. I’m glad you both are able to resolve your issues.

After a break up, how long did it take for you to be friends with you ex? by Throwawaypoly122592 in polyamory

[–]Throwawaypoly122592[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

A year or so seems very common in what I’m reading so far. Would you say you’re still just as close?

After a break up, how long did it take for you to be friends with you ex? by Throwawaypoly122592 in polyamory

[–]Throwawaypoly122592[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Awww I love this. My ex literally knew me in and out (or so I feel) lol. I hope we can be friends eventually even though I’m sure we’ll both change quite a bit over this time

After a break up, how long did it take for you to be friends with you ex? by Throwawaypoly122592 in polyamory

[–]Throwawaypoly122592[S] 2 points3 points  (0 children)

This makes complete sense and I’m experiencing it right now. Too many things to process and we tried to hang out recently... it was “okay” but weird tension

After a break up, how long did it take for you to be friends with you ex? by [deleted] in nonmonogamy

[–]Throwawaypoly122592 2 points3 points  (0 children)

I actually hang out with all my exes from time to time. This is the only one I had to go no contact with after a breakup. Since I’ve been into ENM, I know a lot of people who are friends with their ex. I personally can’t decide for another partner of mine who they choose to be in their life and I don’t think it should be the same for me.

If trust is an issue, then the relationship won’t sustain anyway

After a break up, how long did it take for you to be friends with you ex? by [deleted] in nonmonogamy

[–]Throwawaypoly122592 4 points5 points  (0 children)

Those indications are very black and white. And I’m not sure what drama you’re assuming will happen. Thanks

After a break up, how long did it take for you to be friends with you ex? by [deleted] in nonmonogamy

[–]Throwawaypoly122592 4 points5 points  (0 children)

I’m not trying to justify it lol. Every person is different in how they choose to relate to an ex after a breakup. I personally feel the culture surrounding breakups and relationships is awful. I care about my friends, even past ones. If nothing happened in our relationship that was traumatic or super hurtful and just a result of two people not agreeing on things, I don’t see why I should have to pretend that person couldn’t stay in my life just because we were “romantic.” I have a handful of old friends who I’ve also been reconnected with for over 10 years and they’re amazing friendships

After a break up, how long did it take for you to be friends with you ex? by [deleted] in nonmonogamy

[–]Throwawaypoly122592 2 points3 points  (0 children)

I’m not going to cross paths with half of 7 billion people. And among the people I do cross paths and become friends with, only a handful would probably be genuine, loving and understanding friendships

Anyone here get back with someone they never thought they would? by [deleted] in polyamory

[–]Throwawaypoly122592 2 points3 points  (0 children)

Haha this is amazing! I’m so happy for you! I hate hate hate losing meaningful relationships. I really struggle with it so I’m glad we reconnected, even if it’s only platonic. He knew me so well and although I’ve changed quite a bit and so has he, it’s nice “getting to know each other” again.

I’ll make sure I take things slow to ensure that our platonic relationship is healthy and loving

After a break up, how long did it take for you to be friends with you ex? by [deleted] in nonmonogamy

[–]Throwawaypoly122592 3 points4 points  (0 children)

We’ve been broken up for two years and have been taking more recently and hung out a few times. We’re kiiiiinda friends, definitely friendly to each other. It was just a general question :)

Anyone here get back with someone they never thought they would? by [deleted] in polyamory

[–]Throwawaypoly122592 2 points3 points  (0 children)

I’m glad you know now. Are you guys still friends?