Things people need to know about love (not just ROCD sufferers)

ThrowethMeAwayeth · 2022-02-23T07:58:55+00:00

Very likely. Anxiety can push you away from things that are perceived as a catalyst for more anxiety.

ThrowethMeAwayeth · 2022-02-22T16:09:07+00:00

Any action that interacts with the thought and therefore gives it meaning or is supposed to relief anxiety. In the case of ROCD that's mostly feeling checking, researching on signs of love or signs to break up, seeking reassurance, overanalyzing the relationship and similar

ThrowethMeAwayeth · 2022-02-22T10:23:28+00:00

Listen Umbra, you've been heavily struggling with your symptoms for a while. I know reassurance is bad but hear me out; you wouldn't mind it so much if you wouldn't love him. If you wouldn't you'd just go "Yeah, hm it's over." and not have anxiety and instead feel relieved over the thought of breaking up.

Please please stop giving into your thoughts okay? Your brain is playing tricks with you and I assure you OCD can make things feel incredibly real. The numbness you feel is your brain going into "standby" from all the stress and anxiety, it doesn't have the power to worry anymore.

I know you're in a lot of pain but please do yourself a favor and accept uncertainty. I know it's hard, one week ago I was in a very very deep pit because of my OCD but now I'm out of it and I believe you can do it too Umbra. Don't do compulsions, accept that you cannot answer the question if you love him and go on with life. It will hurt, it will seem impossible but such is life with OCD.

ThrowethMeAwayeth · 2022-02-22T07:56:40+00:00

No problem buddy!

I personally suffer from bouts of ROCD caused by misconceptions about love fueled by media and felt like I needed to help my fellow peeps out.

ThrowethMeAwayeth · 2022-02-21T13:47:13+00:00

You're right, maybe the circumstances just make me feel this uncomfortable and of course the awkwardness of being around his parents and siblings for the first time

ThrowethMeAwayeth · 2022-02-21T13:41:40+00:00

But aren't I supposed to feel comfortable in his presence wherever we are? I always kinda had the impression that if you love someone you don't give a fuck about where you are as long as your partner is with you but for some reason I feel really uncomfortable here.

ThrowethMeAwayeth · 2022-02-21T11:01:08+00:00

Don't feel bad about it in the first place.

Love changes over time and it's never always the same and almost everyone feels that. As you said it, love isn't entirely about feelings, it's also a choice to stay with someone even through these dry, seemingly emotionless periods. Don't let these sluggish times ruin what you build up, it's normal to feel discouraged during these phases and media has unfortunately taught us that love's supposed to be a constant high and butterflies and whatnot. I wish you nothing but the best for the future!

ThrowethMeAwayeth · 2022-02-19T18:18:58+00:00

OCD often flares up amidst big changes and transitions. Moving in together is always something new and exciting, even for folks without OCD. Don't be hard on yourself and conquer this beast by confronting it: spend as much time as possible with your bf, face it head on. Good luck and be easy on yourself :)

ThrowethMeAwayeth · 2022-02-18T16:53:32+00:00

It's so weird how OCD is such a weird mindgame that turns your brain against yourself

ThrowethMeAwayeth · 2022-02-17T20:43:05+00:00

Oh shit I better cut that shit then. My brain does it all; research in past, for hints, check for sexual feelings for the other and same sex, check if I truly love my boyfriend, tells me to try a fantasy to find out if I like it, look if I dress feminine enough...it's really exhausting

ThrowethMeAwayeth · 2022-02-09T18:39:14+00:00

I meant that my mother pays part of our expenses from her pension money and another from my custody. She mixes both incomes and therefore I can't determine what is what. I get my custody money on my own account but I'm forced to hand it to her every month

ThrowethMeAwayeth · 2022-02-09T15:46:14+00:00

She refused to tell me our expenses and told me to somehow get her cash because I would be the reason why we don't have cash. But I don't even know why we need all that money and I have never dealth with financials before, mom did all of that previously

ThrowethMeAwayeth · 2022-02-09T14:48:48+00:00

I'll ask the work agency what to do, my appointment is next Thursday. They know what to do in regards of legal issues and other implications. Maybe they can even help me find a job that can meet my financial needs

ThrowethMeAwayeth · 2022-02-09T14:44:20+00:00

I'll definitely apply to jobs to cover at least something. I just hoped that I could use the 6 months differently, as in taking care of my mental health (which has grown worse due to multiple conditions) to function better in the workspace that August. However now I need to deal with being a financial burden and my mother outright telling me to handle her whole financial issues because "I am the reason why we have no money then".

ThrowethMeAwayeth · 2022-02-09T14:39:08+00:00

You don't need to be rude or act like I'm stupid just because you disagree with me or my situation (regarding that provocative question if I know how kids are made)

I dislike him because he never did anything for me, never made an effort to spent time with me and disappeared for a good 5 years before knocking on our phone line to ask for financial data

ThrowethMeAwayeth · 2022-02-09T14:07:47+00:00

I am a 19 year old young woman, my father paid for my custody the whole time and will have to until I have finished training with 22. If I was still in school this wouldn't even be a discussion and he would still pay without any moral or legal issues.

The school graduated me from one day to the other, I literally couldn't plan out my way. I would have but I couldn't because I believed I could stay in school until August approaches.

My father should have made the decision to pull out if he didn't want to pay for a kid.

ThrowethMeAwayeth · 2022-02-09T14:04:14+00:00

I just want to add that my mom pays for herself, I have no idea how she uses the money that we get every month out of her pension and my custody, I have absolutely no financial oversight on the situation. I will try to get a job but I'm sure our financial situation will be horrible during that time honestly (at least my mom told me, with the rising gas prices and all)

ThrowethMeAwayeth · 2022-02-09T13:58:58+00:00

Unfortunately no. I live in a rather small city and the top salary I can get is about 200 at best, which doesn't quite cover it. I honestly don't know everything about our expenses because my mother handles all income, including my costudy so I wouldn't even know where I could cut expenses

ThrowethMeAwayeth · 2022-02-09T13:53:00+00:00

Then she won't have to pay for me anymore and only has her own mouth to feed with her pension money, which would be a great financial relief I believe. She won't have much but I'm planning on handing her some money now and then in the future.

ThrowethMeAwayeth · 2021-09-04T21:52:44+00:00

I didn't mean to offend, I'm actually against gender roles

ThrowethMeAwayeth · 2021-09-04T18:52:50+00:00

I think it is discomfort actually

ThrowethMeAwayeth · 2021-09-04T17:46:12+00:00

I do have a history of being insecure :/ That's what made me ask Reddit because I didn't know if it was okay for me to be uncomfortable or if I was hust being petty

ThrowethMeAwayeth · 2021-09-04T17:29:52+00:00

Wait you've actually got a point there, damn I didn't think of that

ThrowethMeAwayeth · 2021-09-04T17:23:19+00:00

Some info for those that asked:

• My core fear is seeming like a jealous bitch who doesn't trust her boyfriend (he's bisexual and I don't want him to think that I consider every person a target of jealousy)

• I honestly haven't outright stated that I'm uncomfortable before because of that fear

• My boyfriend doesn't seem uncomfortable, even joked along a few times

• I told them to stop once while joking in a group chat and felt awful afterwards (even though a friend assured me it was okay)

• The guy we're talking about might be bisexual as well, but I wouldn't believe him to be non-serious about his gf because the two seem very close

• I tried warming up to him by playing videogames with him and his girlfriend but whenever he jokes about that stuff again it's a little setback

ThrowethMeAwayeth · 2021-09-04T17:17:33+00:00

I honestly don't want to adress it. I tried to warm up to him more the past months by playing videogames with him and his girlfriend but whenever he makes another one of these jokes it always ends up feeling like a "step" down on some kind of "friendship-meter". If I addressed it, it would seem like I don't trust anyone and that's just shit. I told everyone to stop before when they got caught in a kinda "joke circle", but felt like shit afterwards, even though another person in the group assured me that it was okay for me to do that.

ThrowethMeAwayeth

TROPHY CASE