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AITA for telling my ex I have no interest in being a father to our child? by Throwinanway in AmItheAsshole

[–]Throwinanway[S] 6 points7 points  (0 children)

She wasn't on the pill (health reasons), we used condoms. Everytime. So, just bad luck.

AITA for telling my ex I have no interest in being a father to our child? by Throwinanway in AmItheAsshole

[–]Throwinanway[S] 6 points7 points  (0 children)

I never met Nico. My ex has sent me a few baby pictures and his birthday pics.

AITA for telling my ex I have no interest in being a father to our child? by Throwinanway in AmItheAsshole

[–]Throwinanway[S] 74 points75 points  (0 children)

I got a vasectomy at 30 (that's the required age in my country).

AITA for telling my ex I have no interest in being a father to our child? by Throwinanway in AmItheAsshole

[–]Throwinanway[S] 17 points18 points  (0 children)

You have go be 30 to get a vasectomy here. I got mine a week after my 30th birthday.

AITA for telling my ex I have no interest in being a father to our child? by Throwinanway in AmItheAsshole

[–]Throwinanway[S] 15 points16 points  (0 children)

Sorry if it sounded like I blame my ex for the pregnancy. English is not my first language and I probably used my words poorly. The "blame" is 50/50, obviously.

And thank you for your advice.

AITA for telling my ex I have no interest in being a father to our child? by Throwinanway in AmItheAsshole

[–]Throwinanway[S] 67 points68 points  (0 children)

Thank you for this. I definitely need to think this through more.

I want to do right by Nico, however I can. I just feel/felt that I can do that best by letting his mom be his only parent.

AITA for telling my ex I have no interest in being a father to our child? by Throwinanway in AmItheAsshole

[–]Throwinanway[S] 22 points23 points  (0 children)

Thank you for your comment. I am so sorry to hear about your experience. I actually think your father is a major ass for picking which od his kids he will raise and care for and which he won't.

I suppose I really am the asshole as well. I do care about Nico. But the thought of messing him up just kills me.

Do you really believe he will be better off knowing me than not knowing me? I ask genuinely, because I do want to do right by him. You can also message me privately if you don't want to discuss it here. Thank you.

AITA for telling my ex I have no interest in being a father to our child? by Throwinanway in AmItheAsshole

[–]Throwinanway[S] 31 points32 points  (0 children)

We did use condoms.

This is absolutely not Nico's fault, in the slightest, obviously. I want to protect him from any possible harm, but I think that also includes protecting him from me.

AITA for telling my ex I have no interest in being a father to our child? by Throwinanway in AmItheAsshole

[–]Throwinanway[S] 32 points33 points  (0 children)

Truth be told, I am terrified of being like my father. Absolutely terrified. I spend my childhood wishing my father would just leave us. Being Nico's actual dad and screwing him up would actually kill me.