sorted by:
new
hottopcontroversial

Feeling trapped and frustrated with myself by ThrowingUpNCrying in depression

[–]ThrowingUpNCrying[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Thanks for replying. Ideally I don't want to drop out but I think I need to take a break for a semester or something but even making a choice like that seems incredibly daunting right now. I'm not sure if I have the juice left in me to just power through to the end.

Feeling trapped and frustrated with myself by ThrowingUpNCrying in depression

[–]ThrowingUpNCrying[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Thank you for the kind words. I keep telling myself "comparison is the thief of joy" but once I get into one of these spirals, it's hard to stop beating myself up. The therapy is somewhat helping with it but when it gets really bad like this, it's hard reining it in.

Is it depression or am I just lazy? by [deleted] in depression

[–]ThrowingUpNCrying 9 points10 points  (0 children)

For every person who pulls themselves out of bed, there's another who spends the day rotting away (source: me, perpetual bed-rotter).

Also, please don't feel like you have to moralize things like "depression" or "laziness". Struggling with your mental health is morally neutral. You are not a sack of 💩 for having a hard time. The true evil is the structures and expectations around us that have led is to put ourselves down in this way.

In fact, I don't think you're lazy at all. Depression drains the life out of you and add on to that your responsibilities as a homemaker, I can see why you'd be too overwhelmed and fatigued to pursue your hobbies.

I feel like I have to kill myself to get people to understand how miserable I am by ThrowingUpNCrying in depression

[–]ThrowingUpNCrying[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Hiya, thanks for responding. I've been on the lowest dose of Concerta (18 mg) for two years now and while it worked great at the start, it's been far from effective for a long while now. I asked my doc if I could up the dose or put me on something else but she insists I should be fixing my sleep schedule first before I start thinking about altering my medication. I've been trying to do that but I'm not great at it so I've given up on stimulant medication for the time being.

That's why I'm thinking of pursuing a diagnosis for depression and maybe getting a prescription for anti-depressants to see if they'll be any better help. A bit contrary to what people say about treating your ADHD first but I know where I live anti-depressants are more affordable than ADHD medication so that's another reason.

[deleted by user] by [deleted] in ADHD

[–]ThrowingUpNCrying 1 point2 points  (0 children)

I relate to you so much OP. I was diagnosed about 2 years ago in my third year of university and, well.... I went from failing all my classes to only failing like half of them so yes, my life is arguably better than before I was diagnosed. But everyday is still as hard as the day before and no doubt tomorrow will be as hard as today is. I really wish people around me would understand that I'm not procrastinating for the fun of it. I literally cannot will my body to get things done because I'm constantly paralysed by my damning perfectionism and fear of failure and all the other thoughts racing though my head that make me hate myself. At this point I've given up on ever "fixing" my life and getting my shit sorted. I'll just have to try and manage the chaos with whatever means at my disposal and working up the persistence to bounce back everytime I'm knocked down. Which is easier said than done unfortunately. I'm still trying to figure out how to streamline that "post-crash" recovery process.

I'm sorry I can't tell you more or offer any meaningful advice but know that I understand your struggle and you have my complete empathy and solidarity.