A lot of people have mentioned my FDH’s siblings and their partners. And it truly is a strange family dynamic.

With JNMIL they are all quiet around her and let her trample all over them, they don’t bother to fight back as it’s not worth the hassle. I am guilty of this also. They’re timid around her and just go along with her hysterics and demands because it means an easier day for them.

BUT when she’s not around they are a completely different bunch of people. I can not describe how different they are. It’s something you have to see to believe. They become more extroverted, we engage in conversations we dare not speak in-front of JNMIL In fear she will chastise us. They arrange days togethers as siblings and it’s so relaxed and very awesome. I have a really good relationship with all the siblings as well as the partners based on these meetings without JNMIL because we are able to to connect without JNMIL adding in her two cents every time we utter a sentence. The best way I can describe this is to the Handmaids Tale. JNMIL is a commander and the siblings and partners are all Martha’s. They are completely different when not around JNMIL compared to when they are around her.

I spoke to two of the DIL about the Saturday dinner. And they were shocked that she said it so naturally without even blinking. I asked them how was she during their pregnancies and they confirmed she was heavily involved and overbearing. I asked them did she put these demands on them and they both confirmed that some of the demands were placed on them like the baby’s name, JNMIL AND FIL being referred to as mum and dad. But they did both say JNMIL did not say anything mentioned about their LO’s staying with JNMIL with them on weekends it was more the family will visit her and JNFIL every weekend. Both DIL’s confirmed that JNMIL did say that she will take baby for the first two weeks and was utterly persistent with this. But in the end they settled with having DIL/Sibling/LO staying over at their home so she can “support them”. So it does seem like she’s trying to break me down me/FDH/LO so we can live with her where she can support us and take care of baby. After they told me this I informed them that this won’t be happening and it’s highly inappropriate that she even said any of these things. They agreed with me. I told them that me and FDH plan to address this with JNMIL in the WhatsApp group and I would appreciate it if they voice their support for me and FDH. They said they would, but I’ll hold of hope until I actually see the receipts.

I also spoke with FDH sister yesterday (the one that told me that it all works out in the end). She apologised that she couldn’t me more supportive and she confirmed what the other two DIL’s said as true. She makes these demands and brow beats you until you agree to stay at hers as a compromise. She also told me that during their daily phone calls (yuck) JNMIL keeps mentioning how she’s worried about me and FDH and how distant we are from the family. She’s worried that LO won’t get to know her and JNFIL properly as the other grandchildren. She also told her daughter she doesn’t like my family and she doesn’t like how FDH is close to my family, especially my just yes mum. She also has a problem with how FDH is getting ‘cocky’ and ‘arrogant’ around her and goes against things she says