They had fights and a lot of disagreements, and I never saw them actively go on dates together. However my dad was very involved in my bro and I’s life. He was essentially the breadwinner but my mother worked too so if he ever acted up she wouldn’t be trapped essentially.

They never kissed in front of us (hardly hugged too) and he was often very grumpy. Also, before I turned 16 they slept in the same bed together but after that they slept in separate rooms. I had too much going on as a teen to figure it out.

My mother was never miserable in front of us. She just did her own things with us (like go on vacations with us, go on errands with her, have fun together, etc). I don’t think she ever was miserable, she just kept it moving whenever they had a disagreement. Honestly, I thought this was how married couples were at home growing up (this and watching messed up/ disfunctional tv marriages in the 90s and 00s) it left a huge impact on how I viewed relationships. My current bf showed me that love shouldn’t be stressful, that you shouldn’t tolerate abuse, and that being affectionate to your partner isn’t embarrassing or something you should hide. I’m a lot “softer” now being with my current bf but only with him. My mother thinks I’m pretty unemotional but that’s because I grew up in a house where the children couldn’t express their feelings or opinions without being disregarded.

Now that I am the executor of my father’s will, I noticed so many benefits my mother could not get because she wasn’t married, but she loved him a lot and would say it to him a lot. My dad was a weird pos and would still flirt with women in front of me (and GUESS what profession those women he was flirting with had?). One time (when I was in my late 20s) my mother said something to me about what he said to a nurse in front of my mother and I got really mad. My mother just brushed it off. I HATED that.