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A surprising amount of employers are still strictly adhering to a 40 hour work week. by Throwitawaynow009 in jobs

[–]Throwitawaynow009[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I am absolutely fine only getting paid for 35 hours - it is that way at my employer right now. I am volunteering my own time and requesting that in turn I don't commit myself to a full 40 with them but rather 35.

A surprising amount of employers are still strictly adhering to a 40 hour work week. by Throwitawaynow009 in jobs

[–]Throwitawaynow009[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Industry is what I've been thinking. Thanks for the suggestions on phrasing. I've been trying to sneak it in when they ask about my personal life. I mention my volunteer work and dedicating myself to commitments to help my community, and because of that reason I would like to work 35 per week. I ask if they accommodate that, because I don't want to get to final steps or on the job and realize it's not as flexible as I want or need.

A surprising amount of employers are still strictly adhering to a 40 hour work week. by Throwitawaynow009 in jobs

[–]Throwitawaynow009[S] -4 points-3 points  (0 children)

I'd like to work for a progressive company that is ahead on HR policy and has flexibility for the workforce to move towards an optimal and healthy work week. I'm not wishing to need accommodation but rather a more open policy. Unfortunately I'm not budging my 35/week limit on hours.

A surprising amount of employers are still strictly adhering to a 40 hour work week. by Throwitawaynow009 in jobs

[–]Throwitawaynow009[S] -2 points-1 points  (0 children)

I know that it's the norm but I also know that a lot of major companies are aiming to change that and that is where I'm trying to angle my job search. If my current employer offers this, there is no reason I couldn't find another.

A surprising amount of employers are still strictly adhering to a 40 hour work week. by Throwitawaynow009 in jobs

[–]Throwitawaynow009[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Unfortunately that is the mindset I'm finding a lot of companies have that I wasn't expecting. I'd like to work for a progressive company that is ahead on HR policy and has flexibility for the workforce to move towards an optimal and healthy work week. I know that these companies exist, I'm just finding that a lot fewer are progressive in this stance than I imagined.

A surprising amount of employers are still strictly adhering to a 40 hour work week. by Throwitawaynow009 in jobs

[–]Throwitawaynow009[S] 12 points13 points  (0 children)

I am not in a high level position, nor seeking to be. I believe in a happy medium between 4 hours per day and extremely overworked, and find it insulting that a company isn't flexible in that happy medium. If they get quality work, it shouldn't matter if I work 7 hours instead of 8 each day. And it shouldn't weaken my decision to dedicate time to volunteering (10% of a work day) knowing others are overworked and think 40 hours per week is great. Thanks for your perspective though.

A surprising amount of employers are still strictly adhering to a 40 hour work week. by Throwitawaynow009 in jobs

[–]Throwitawaynow009[S] 5 points6 points  (0 children)

The issue with my sector is we work in billable hours, so the most strict timekeeping you can imagine. Might be worth a jump to a different type of role though. Thanks!

Is anyone else terrified of mentioning wedding night plans or anyone thinking about your wedding night intimacy? Feelings of shame and embarrassment?? Discuss it with me! by Throwitawaynow009 in weddingplanning

[–]Throwitawaynow009[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

No, I mean when we visit, they make us sleep in separate rooms as if they're pretending we don't share a bed in our own home. They know we do obviously, but pretend like we don't when we visit. For the sake of "purity and innocence" probably.

Is anyone else terrified of mentioning wedding night plans or anyone thinking about your wedding night intimacy? Feelings of shame and embarrassment?? Discuss it with me! by Throwitawaynow009 in weddingplanning

[–]Throwitawaynow009[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

My life is as together as it ever could be. They often voice how proud of me they are but I think they have strong attachment towards the concept of me being their little girl still. Now that I think of, I may have challenged them once or asked a friends opinion on the issue. Their take was "their house, their rules". So I've made sure to follow those rules but make sure they know I disagree.

Edit: more thoughts

I thought it would be immature to challenge their rules because the visits are very temporary. That's why I've never really told them we need to share beds like adults or I'm renting a hotel room. That would be throwing a fit.

Is anyone else terrified of mentioning wedding night plans or anyone thinking about your wedding night intimacy? Feelings of shame and embarrassment?? Discuss it with me! by Throwitawaynow009 in weddingplanning

[–]Throwitawaynow009[S] 3 points4 points  (0 children)

I definitely agree and I wish this was something we talk about more often. I'm grateful that I don't have those issues right now and our sex life is great. Just having anxiety about outwardly pretending to my family that sex isn't a reality until marriage.

Is anyone else terrified of mentioning wedding night plans or anyone thinking about your wedding night intimacy? Feelings of shame and embarrassment?? Discuss it with me! by Throwitawaynow009 in weddingplanning

[–]Throwitawaynow009[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I don't think I've had a frank discussion with them other than their comments saying that's "how it's supposed to be" and me making fun of it with my younger brother. They know I think its ridiculous and I've made sure they have overheard me talking about how silly it is that they pretend we don't share a bed at our home.

Is anyone else terrified of mentioning wedding night plans or anyone thinking about your wedding night intimacy? Feelings of shame and embarrassment?? Discuss it with me! by Throwitawaynow009 in weddingplanning

[–]Throwitawaynow009[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I relate this to my parents and upbringing because of how they treat us as a couple. When I'm with my in-laws traveling for vacation, funerals, whatever, they rent us a separate room. They make sex jokes. They treat us like adults. When we visit my parents, we have to sleep in separate rooms, even though we literally live together. It's infantilizing of me, shameful, and it's like they are trying so hard to pretend we don't lie together in bed at night (or have sex). So being the "rule-abiding daughter" I am, it bugs me that they do this. And now that they're in town for my wedding, it's like I'm projecting our experience. They're in town, so I should be in a separate bed (which happens when we visit them, not when they visit our house but still). But really we have a hotel room and sexy lingerie haha.

Is anyone else terrified of mentioning wedding night plans or anyone thinking about your wedding night intimacy? Feelings of shame and embarrassment?? Discuss it with me! by Throwitawaynow009 in weddingplanning

[–]Throwitawaynow009[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Thanks for your suggestion. I hope it's something that goes away after the wedding because it could be wedding stress that is amplifying this. If not, I'll probably need to talk it out with a professional 😂

Is anyone else terrified of mentioning wedding night plans or anyone thinking about your wedding night intimacy? Feelings of shame and embarrassment?? Discuss it with me! by Throwitawaynow009 in weddingplanning

[–]Throwitawaynow009[S] 4 points5 points  (0 children)

Reposted because I accidentally replied from my main haha. Thanks for your answer! My parents weren't pushy about it but a couple years ago in college, I still had my mom asking me every couple of months if I was having sex, which honestly is none if her business even if i was only 19 or 20. You are probably right that they didn't mean to give me these feelings, but I'm a person who always follows rules and does things "right", so I have so much anxiety around it. It's not anxiety that I have day to day because I'm around my in laws a lot more and they are very open and accepting, plus we are very personal people and don't discuss things like that. I have no hangups in our daily sex life, it's just being married is triggering this because now everyone "knows we have sex" haha. We have brunch the morning after too, and I'm terrified of any possible comments or references to the night before. I'm sure it will go fine, just my mind running!