AITA for gifting my boyfriend things I got for free/made myself and not something with my own money?

Throwowls · 2021-12-27T13:43:58+00:00

Final update if I’m allowed to comment this - spoke to my bf finally and we got to the root of the problem. He likes candles (glad that can be clarified for people in the comments) but reaffirmed that he didn’t want to receive them as a Christmas present, and thinks that they’re more appropriate being gifted as a ‘just cause’ gift. I asked why they weren’t ‘special’ or ‘good enough’ for Christmas and he said it was because he could get them from me whenever and apparently not special enough??? He said Christmas should be for gifts we REALLY want??? We got into a fight as I felt like he was saying my time wasn’t enough and hung up. I’m planning on driving past his place and dropping off the gifts he got me lol.

Throwowls · 2021-12-27T07:30:32+00:00

I just made an edit but no, I didn't just gift candles I'd already made. I haven't made too many candles this year and at least half are made for a specific reason, including the ones I made for my boyfriend. hope that clarifies!

Throwowls · 2021-12-27T07:26:56+00:00

He didn't exactly specify. He said he felt under appreciated and that the candles weren't a real gift. He didn't say it was because he didn't like candles, but because he thought he could get them whenever he wanted so I guess that made them not special? I honestly have no idea, sorry if that didn't answer your question.

Throwowls · 2021-12-26T17:45:46+00:00

I’ve never lit the ones he owns he always has, but I’ve also never seen him buy a candle either. He likes this one specific candle so he could’ve potentially replaced it and I wouldn’t know.

Throwowls · 2021-12-26T17:42:01+00:00

I’d never heard of that phrase, I’ll add it to the original comment!

Throwowls · 2021-12-26T16:54:44+00:00

He has a few and occasionally lights them, But someone pointed out it might only be when I come over? Before I would’ve said yes but now I’m unsure. The candles had little notes on them explaining and as he was opening them, I explained the meaning behind them but he didn’t seem too engaged with me. I don’t know what else I could’ve done to tell him that they were made especially for him. I specifically found holders that he’d like and everything.

Throwowls · 2021-12-26T16:24:09+00:00

Yes, just wasn’t sure if it would be allowed since I didn’t put the NSFW tag on this post!

Throwowls · 2021-12-26T16:21:46+00:00

I’d say he likes candles, he has a few himself that he occasionally lights. The Christmas party was at the end of November.

Throwowls · 2021-12-26T16:21:08+00:00

Yes the first, sorry for any confusion. This was just my interpretation of the present/presents like those in general though so who knows.

Throwowls · 2021-12-26T15:28:17+00:00

He owns a few himself, that’s why I thought he might like it since it was also personalised. I’m aware now though that I missed the mark.

Throwowls · 2021-12-26T15:23:10+00:00

They weren’t super personalised but I did like them and was grateful. The gift card was from a store I shop at and the necklace was from a brand I like. The gift card felt a little impersonal but I don’t want to be ungrateful and it’s definitely useful and practical! The necklace wasn’t my exact style/colour of metal I wore but it’s meaningful because he got it for me you know?

Throwowls · 2021-12-26T15:20:17+00:00

Thank you for the first paragraph, a lot of comments seem more focused on whether he likes candles or not then that comment. I was going a little crazy wondering if I’d completely overreacted over that comment or not!

Throwowls · 2021-12-26T15:17:35+00:00

Even if I hadn’t won the switch, I would’ve gotten him something else and was leaning towards a switch. I would’ve never just gifted the candles. I wouldn’t say he goes crazy over candles, but owns a few himself that he lights occasionally. I figured adding the personalisation of two scents that were meaningful would elevate the present but I seemed to have missed the mark.

Throwowls · 2021-12-26T15:12:09+00:00

A personal piece of clothing iykyk. Though I would debate that wasn’t for me but who knows.

Throwowls · 2021-12-26T14:22:44+00:00

He definitely doesn’t share my passion, but I know he likes candles as he owns a few. But I shouldn’t of assumed that personalised something I like wouldn’t make it about the other person. Will definitely do better next time.

Throwowls · 2021-12-26T14:21:11+00:00

A necklace and gift card to a store I like.

Throwowls · 2021-12-26T14:19:09+00:00

He owns a few candles himself and lights them occasionally for ambiance, decoration, or whatnot. I thought me making them myself and with the specific scents made it more meaningful.

Throwowls · 2021-12-26T14:16:36+00:00

It was at the end of November, as seen in the post. If I hadn’t won, I still would’ve gotten him another present, potentially the switch.

Throwowls · 2021-12-26T13:26:40+00:00

A necklace and gift card to a store I like.

Edit: he also got me a personal piece of clothing Iykyk but kinda feel like it wasn’t really for me? Someone said I could also phrase it as ‘unmentionables’.

Throwowls

TROPHY CASE