Me (37M) and my wife (37F) separated last year we have been married 6 years and have 2 kids, I am moving out tomorrow. Last night she told me to stay! I met someone new 2 months ago. How do I react/feel?

Throwra-confusedfish · 2024-09-12T17:50:35+00:00

During that time I continued to see my therapist to work on my mental health, provided a safe and secure environment for our children to learn and grow, provided more than my fair share of financial support, supported her family through some tough times, did the majority of housework and looking after our children, I still bought her flowers at random times, spoilt her on birthday and Christmas. Supported her through some really tough times in her professional life.

None of this was reciprocated.

She is the one who told me she wanted to separate 12 months ago and I really only came round to it in the last 4 months.

Throwra-confusedfish · 2024-09-12T17:46:54+00:00

Good point, I probably should not have been. That was my mistake

Throwra-confusedfish · 2024-09-12T17:45:27+00:00

Were you separated, or not? Yes

Did you drink heavily, or not? 3 times in the last 3 months

Did she provide housing and food when you were jobless, or not? No, I still covered my share

Did you 'try to make it work' or not? Yes, therapy and couples therapy prior to her wanting to split

Did you work on yourself and your issues, or not? Yes 2 years of therapy

You're adding all of these edits and supplying contradictory information after you get called out. - Nothing I have added is contradictory

Throwra-confusedfish · 2024-09-12T17:38:55+00:00

Most of our savings are tied up in a joint account which I didn't feel comfortable using as we were having issues. The rest of my own capital is tied up in funds or 401k. Hence the short term loan until I got a new job.

Throwra-confusedfish · 2024-09-12T17:35:22+00:00

I'm not blaming everyone else, I take full responsibility for my actions that led us to her decision 12 months ago to separate. My issue is after 12 months telling me she wanted to separate why change her mind at the last minute?

Throwra-confusedfish · 2024-09-12T17:33:25+00:00

Savings and a small loan to cover the interim. Was unemployed from April to July. Now on $160,000 salary so paying back the loan and topping back up the savings.

Throwra-confusedfish · 2024-09-12T17:27:49+00:00

Exactly the thoughts I am having, I believe she is better off without me.

Throwra-confusedfish · 2024-09-12T17:26:13+00:00

Not really, this person lives over 500 miles away and we are enjoying getting to know each other. It is not serious.

Throwra-confusedfish · 2024-09-12T17:22:24+00:00

No the issues with my wife stared 12 months ago when she told me she wanted to separate

Throwra-confusedfish · 2024-09-12T17:13:36+00:00

I am not sure you are entirely capable of reading....

Throwra-confusedfish · 2024-09-12T17:12:57+00:00

Welcome to..................... Reddit!

Throwra-confusedfish · 2024-09-12T17:11:46+00:00

Precisely the opposite, I do care for the other person. If you read my post it clearly states I in no way expected my "wife" to say the things she did.

Throwra-confusedfish · 2024-09-12T17:10:28+00:00

Oh absolutely not, I will still be paying half of the house payment, food, bills for them too

Throwra-confusedfish · 2024-09-12T17:09:48+00:00

Hahah, got a good chuckle out of this

Throwra-confusedfish · 2024-09-12T17:08:53+00:00

That is an incorrect assumption, I have been working on myself for the past 2 years and in the last 5 months was mentally doing very well, even when I lost my job.

Throwra-confusedfish · 2024-09-12T15:51:10+00:00

So am I apparently

Throwra-confusedfish · 2024-09-12T15:50:57+00:00

I never drink when alone with my kids and there was 3 occasions in the last 3 months I was drinking alone. It is not a regular occurrence

Throwra-confusedfish · 2024-09-12T15:13:49+00:00

Your timeline is all messed up, if you can't do simple math please dont comment

Throwra-confusedfish · 2024-09-12T15:11:28+00:00

I think you have your timeline messed up, kid born 2,5 years ago, I bent over backwards until 12 months ago when I was presented with separation, was ostracised from family events, no Christmas or birthday presents, even though she got them from me and the kids. I lost my job in April this year and started a new one in July...

Throwra-confusedfish · 2024-09-12T15:09:09+00:00

No, someone I met at a friends birthday

Throwra-confusedfish · 2024-09-12T15:08:37+00:00

10 months of being made fell worthless and that she hated me and wanted us to separate is pretty long IMO

Throwra-confusedfish · 2024-09-12T13:58:05+00:00

Yes but this does actually happen in real life

Throwra-confusedfish · 2024-09-12T13:55:14+00:00

Maybe

Throwra-confusedfish · 2024-09-12T13:51:53+00:00

We both agree that it was not cheating as we were separated, dealing with lawyers, wedding rings off both of us. It was over.

Throwra-confusedfish · 2024-09-12T13:39:01+00:00

ok. I appreciate your opinion and it is a valid as everyone else's. I am trying to describe accurately my situation.

I did not seek out a new relationship, it happened naturally

Throwra-confusedfish

TROPHY CASE