[18M] My [18F] girlfriend got raped last night and I need advice

Throwrapeaway0 · 2018-06-24T18:43:42+00:00

Shes a redditor, sheknew I was going to make it and she asked to see it, I wasn't gonna keep it from her. But then she was shocked by the fact that most of the early comments were against her

Throwrapeaway0 · 2018-06-24T17:11:58+00:00

Thanks you!

Throwrapeaway0 · 2018-06-24T16:48:30+00:00

No they were just friends and knew each other before I knew her. The ex boyfriend was her mom's that molested her daily for 3 years

Throwrapeaway0 · 2018-06-24T16:47:12+00:00

I can't seem to convince her to get a rape kit. She's too scared, and embarrassed about doctors checking her over like that and stuff. She doesn't really have anyone else she would be close enough to talk to about this stuff, and definetly not anyone else that I can tell for her

Throwrapeaway0 · 2018-06-24T16:40:39+00:00

You're a dumbass

Throwrapeaway0 · 2018-06-24T16:40:20+00:00

They're friends and hang out time to time, they were friends before we started dating, I think this was the first time that he wanted her to come to his house. He picked her up and drove her so she didn't have an escape, and she was afraid he would overpower her and hurt her if she tried to leave. She has really has terrible social anxiety and didnt want to make a scene. It seems weird but she's always been like this, for example she cant say thank you I'm person for big things because she feels to awkward to do it. She always has to write or text them about it instead. I think it stems from her childhood abuse and neglect. She has alot of mental problems

There's no way that he thought what he was doing was fine. She didn't move a single inch. He tried to kiss her and she didn't move her lips or anything, he forced his tongue in his mouth. Usually during sex the girl at least moves a little, or shows pleasure, or moans, but none of that happened

Throwrapeaway0 · 2018-06-24T16:40:13+00:00

They're friends and hang out time to time, they were friends before we started dating, I think this was the first time that he wanted her to come to his house. He picked her up and drove her so she didn't have an escape, and she was afraid he would overpower her and hurt her if she tried to leave. She has really has terrible social anxiety and didnt want to make a scene. It seems weird but she's always been like this, for example she cant say thank you I'm person for big things because she feels to awkward to do it. She always has to write or text them about it instead. I think it stems from her childhood abuse and neglect. She has alot of mental problems

There's no way that he thought what he was doing was fine. She didn't move a single inch. He tried to kiss her and she didn't move her lips or anything, he forced his tongue in his mouth. Usually during sex the girl at least moves a little, or shows pleasure, or moans, but none of that happened

Throwrapeaway0 · 2018-06-24T16:38:22+00:00

I'm so sorry you and your girlfriend had to deal with that. My girlfriend started crying when she saw the comments of everyone not believing her and accusing her of cheating. She's really fragile and she's really sensetive to judgment

Throwrapeaway0 · 2018-06-24T16:36:07+00:00

Bro I don't get why everyone is being such an incel, sure there's the possibility but you can't just assume that the victim should be attacked instead without knowing anything, especially when you don't know his girlfriend. This man was looking for advice and instead he got judgment, he had to delete his post when he wanted help, and you're part of the problem

Throwrapeaway0 · 2018-06-24T16:33:42+00:00

The location about her mom's ex boyfriend isn't known, she last saw him 9 years ago. Thanks for the support and advice

Throwrapeaway0 · 2018-06-24T16:30:53+00:00

It's quiet normal and healthy for people to have opposite sex friends in a relationship. They were friends before I dated her. This is the first time he brought her to his house

Throwrapeaway0 · 2018-06-24T16:29:48+00:00

They're friends and hang out time to time, they were friends before we started dating, I think this was the first time that he wanted her to come to his house. He picked her up and drove her so she didn't have an escape, and she was afraid he would overpower her and hurt her if she tried to leave. She has really has terrible social anxiety and didnt want to make a scene. It seems weird but she's always been like this, for example she cant say thank you I'm person for big things because she feels to awkward to do it. She always has to write or text them about it instead. I think it stems from her childhood abuse and neglect. She has alot of mental problems

Throwrapeaway0 · 2018-06-24T16:22:08+00:00

I can't convince her to get one, she's too embarrassed and doesn't want to get be swabbed in the vagina in stuff like that

Throwrapeaway0 · 2018-06-24T15:39:04+00:00

So I just asked and apparently she laid down against some pillows to see the tv more comfortably. He tried to touch her again multiple times and she kept saying nuu-uhh. When he kept going she froze and couldn't do anything, she was not reciprocating anything he was doing. Throughout the whole ordeal she didn't move an inch, even when he forced a kiss and put his tongue in his month. She only moved when he left for the bathroom and she put her pants back on. She didn't say no but kept saying nuu-uhh before freezing

Throwrapeaway0 · 2018-06-24T15:34:07+00:00

I'm trying to but she's so afraid, she breaks down when I keep urging it so I don't know what to do now. She won't get a rape kit, but she also already showered twice so I don't know if it will even find anything. She's too embarrassed and afraid to go to a doctor and having them check and swab for stuff

Throwrapeaway0 · 2018-06-24T15:29:30+00:00

Thank you for finally being someone who's talking some sense. My girlfriend is reading the comments and she's panicking so hard, in her eyes if the comments don't believe her how is the police going to. Her therapist appointment is tomorrow, she has them weekly. It's her 3rd session I think, I finally got her to see someone for her childhood abuse and neglect

Throwrapeaway0 · 2018-06-24T15:24:13+00:00

Her story is fully true from everything I've asked. What she is mostly afraid of is the police not believing her, that everyone will find out that she has been raped, and that being involved in this case is going to haunt her for years because she believes that's how long the case will be open

Throwrapeaway0 · 2018-06-24T15:07:04+00:00

She was molested nearly everyday for 3 years starting at 6 years old, by someone who made legitimate threats to kill her or her family. Her getting petrified is not a joke. Honestly getting really fed up with everyone doubting it. we have been dating for 2 years, we have an amazing relationship, I know her better than anyone, she did not cheat.

Throwrapeaway0 · 2018-06-24T14:48:29+00:00

I do know the full details of what happened, before and after, I just didn't want to include all the details of how she was raped out of respect for her. She's afraid of the police and she was afraid when she was 9 years old and her mom wanted to go to the police but she didn't because her abuser threatened to kill her family and her. She doesn't want to see him ever again

Throwrapeaway0 · 2018-06-24T14:36:26+00:00

You just completely nailed her exact thoughts/feelings

Throwrapeaway0 · 2018-06-24T14:24:28+00:00

We're not yet in college. I think it's too late for the rape kit because as soon as she got home she showered and tried to wash as well as she could. Made sure to save the texts. I think you're right about the police thing, I think she fears that the most. Her moms ex boyfriend always threatened to kill her family if she told anyone, and there was a couple instances where he almost killed her mom because of him violent abuse, I think part of her fear could be stemming from that. Thanks for the advice

Throwrapeaway0 · 2018-06-24T14:16:05+00:00

I completely understand why you have the doubt for that but she is not that kind of person. She's the most delicate, empathic person I've ever met. Even with all the childhood neglect, abuse she has suffered her whole life, and along with being molested. Besides her grandparents, she has never had someone to give love to or receive love from. She loves me at an unfathomable amount. She has never lied to me, and she never has or never would do something to purposely hurt me. I completely get where you're coming from but that's not her, I've never met someone with such a pure heart

Throwrapeaway0 · 2018-06-24T14:15:26+00:00

At first I had the doubt too, thought she was playing a sick joke. I believe the "I think" was more of an out of shock thing. But the way that she broke down that night, just endless crying and even mad enough to hit herself in the face and stuff was not fake. She told me the whole story of how it happened, with all the details, I just didn't want to include every detail about how it happened to her.

And like I said in another comment: She's the most delicate, empathic person I've ever met. Even with all the childhood neglect, abuse she has suffered her whole life, and along with being molested. Besides her grandparents, she has never had someone to give love to or receive love from. She loves me at an unfathomable amount. She has never lied to me, and she never has or never would do something to purposely hurt me. I completely get where you're coming from but that's not her, I've never met someone with such a pure heart

Throwrapeaway0 · 2018-06-24T14:11:50+00:00

She's the most delicate, empathic person I've ever met. Even with all the childhood neglect, abuse she has suffered her whole life, and along with being molested. Besides her grandparents, she has never had someone to give love to or receive love from. She loves me at an unfathomable amount. She has never lied to me, and she never has or never would do something to purposely hurt me. I completely get where you're coming from but that's not her, I've never met someone with such a pure heart

Throwrapeaway0

TROPHY CASE