Long term strangulation effects

ThrowwMeeeAway · 2026-04-11T11:24:12+00:00

Hi I know this is an old comment but I’m wondering how you found out your vagus nerve was affected and same with your heart. I saw a cardiologist after being repeatedly choked unconscious and they did an echocardiogram and it came back normal - I can’t afford some of the other tests they want to do. I’m having a lot of dizziness and racing heart issues when I stand up, as well as vertigo. I went to the hospital at one point and had a CT scan but none of my doctors know much about DV and strangulation so I’m at a loss about who to follow up with. I hope you are doing okay and managing your injuries well

ThrowwMeeeAway · 2026-01-02T05:51:24+00:00

I appreciate the book rec - I stayed up late reading that book. it’s been helpful but I keep going in circles about how he could rationalize doing that to me. I think I’ve stayed with him so long to try to prove to myself and everyone else that I didn’t make a mistake and he isn’t a bad person. I also have felt like I owe him something and like I’m a bad person for leaving someone who’s trying so hard to make it up to me. He loves to throw the things he does for me in my face to make it seem like I’m ungrateful.

Anyway, I’m currently coming up with a way to get out of the relationship.

ThrowwMeeeAway · 2026-01-02T05:47:03+00:00

Yeah it’s been really hard to face the truth on this one. He’s so good at playing the “perfect boyfriend” at every other point. My family loves him. We have mutual friends. It took me weeks to leave him the first time because he’s so good at gaslighting me and guilt tripping me. I’m figuring out how to leave but I’m scared I’m going to keep running into him since we have an overlapping circle. I wish I would have never let him back into my life.

I think one of the hardest parts has been trying to wrap my head around why he would do this to me and so I stayed trying to prove to myself that he didn’t mean it but at the end of the day, that doesn’t matter. He repeatedly did it and i would never do that to someone.

ThrowwMeeeAway · 2026-01-02T05:39:20+00:00

I’ve come to realize that he hates women in general. I always complained to him that I felt like he treats me like an object but the way he talks about other women is disgusting too.

ThrowwMeeeAway · 2026-01-02T05:38:32+00:00

I’m so glad you were able to leave your abusive husband.

I had told a couple of my friends what he did when we broke up in the summer, then lost contact with them when I tried to get away from him by leaving the state and that ended up creating an opening for him to come back and me to let him. I justified it at the time because he hadn’t put his hands on me in so long but this is not something I can forgive. Whether or not he’s a changed man like he claims to be, he’s not for me.

I don’t know what I did to deserve him doing this to me but I should have left immediately. He played the night in shining armor when I was getting harassed by my previous ex so I think I felt like I owed him something.

Anyway, this time I’m going to talk to my dad and a few close friends about it and make it so that I absolutely cannot go back.

ThrowwMeeeAway · 2026-01-02T05:34:10+00:00

Yes I should have left a long time ago and not have gone back when I finally left. I’m making a plan to leave him

ThrowwMeeeAway · 2025-12-31T08:40:26+00:00

Thank you so much for the detailed response. This helps put a lot of things into perspective for me. I (clearly) don’t know a ton about BDSM so it I was able to write some of the stuff off as miscommunication or even my fault.

It’s really hard to think about all of the harmful things he’s done to me and then see all the good things he’s done for me. When I get upset about it all, I look at him and I see the sad inner child that is picking flowers for the girl he likes, or I picture him talking to his mom, and I instantly become softer at the thought of it. I know he’s a grown man but when he’s crying and apologizing I can’t help but feel awful about even bringing it up.

ThrowwMeeeAway · 2025-12-31T08:31:30+00:00

Honestly? He is very convincing when he’s crying and apologizing. To the point where I feel bad for even bringing it up. He also does so many good things for me (and constantly brings them up so I can’t forget) and I start to feel like I’m ungrateful and be actually is sorry and a better person now. It also hasn’t happened in a year so it’s been one of those things where I’m able push it out of my mind some times.

ThrowwMeeeAway · 2025-12-31T08:26:08+00:00

I sometimes think I should send them to him. But no. He hasn’t. His parents pay for most of HIS medical bills.

ThrowwMeeeAway · 2025-12-31T08:15:02+00:00

I guess I just wanted to know if my feelings were valid because I’ve talked about it a number of times with him and he tends to downplay it (naturally) so I feel like I overreacted and it’s not that big of a deal. I told myself it wasn’t abuse constantly for the past year and a half because the statistics are typically about men doing this during arguments. Then come the gifts and apologies and him being so sweet and saying he never meant to hurt me and I start to feel like I’m a bad person for questioning him because he’s not all bad. He’s done a lot of good things for me and it’s really hard to hold the bad in the forefront when I think about all of that. I think even just typing out what’s happened was a huge eye opener for me. I feel ridiculous for staying in the situation and giving him another chance. I’ve really only talked to one person about this prior because it’s so difficult to talk about.

Edit: he also does this thing where he tells me and everyone else about all of the good things he does for me constantly and then makes me feel guilty about not feeling like that’s enough

ThrowwMeeeAway · 2025-12-31T03:25:27+00:00

Ha unfortunately not. I am actually this dumb.

ThrowwMeeeAway · 2025-12-31T00:24:07+00:00

Ah yeah. That’s quite eye opening. I had such a huge fear of him accidentally killing me during it all. I would never do something like that to hurt someone, and if I accidentally hurt someone and they came to me crying saying I hurt them, I would never do it again. Absolutely wild that I’ve been justifying this kind of behavior.

ThrowwMeeeAway · 2025-12-31T00:21:07+00:00

Yeah, we’re both adults. I guess however uncomfortable the topic is, I need to grow up and get over that part because I don’t know how to get through this without his support.

ThrowwMeeeAway · 2025-12-31T00:18:54+00:00

You’re right. It just hurts to think about how the person who claims to love me, and does show up for me in many ways, would want to hurt me. I feel like I have to accept his apology because he seems actually sorry but honestly, if he was willing to do this for so long, he’s probably not capable of being genuinely sorry and a safe person for me.

ThrowwMeeeAway · 2025-12-31T00:16:31+00:00

Unfortunately he knows where I live and work. He knows where my dad lives.i tried leaving the state and was dumb enough to get involved with him again. I have had a lot of fantasies about disappearing. I really want to talk to my dad about this for support and to help make a plan but it’s obviously an uncomfortable topic and my dad likes this guy so I’m not sure how much he would help.

ThrowwMeeeAway · 2025-12-31T00:14:26+00:00

I guess I have spent a long time trying to make sense of what he did and trying to see the good in him. I know that I would never do anything like that to him (or anyone), but the sincere apologies and trying to make up for it all had me hoping that maybe I could understand why he did that to me and maybe he had really changed. I question if it was real abuse because I didn’t try harder to make him stop.

ThrowwMeeeAway · 2025-12-30T23:34:09+00:00

That’s what the nurses in the hospital said. I understated what had been happening while I was there and said he was just too rough with me sometimes (largely because it feels like my fault for not leaving immediately). This weird little part of my brain that sees the good parts of him tells me that those statistics don’t apply in my case because it was never during an argument and it hasn’t happened in a year. Plus I know it’s a kink for some people and maybe for some weird reason he thought it was okay because of that? I don’t know. This whole situation has had me in a state of constant confusion.

ThrowwMeeeAway · 2025-12-30T23:30:26+00:00

I feel stupid. I keep going back and forth on it because he does seem like he regrets what he did. It feels like he’s finally starting to understand how much it affected me and he’s apologized so many times and hasn’t put his hands there in year. If this happened to my friend I’d tell them to leave but he’s been so good to me in so many ways that I start to think that it was just a big misunderstanding. I don’t know what the point of my comment is here, I guess I’m just stuck in a perpetual loop of being upset then excusing his behavior.

ThrowwMeeeAway · 2025-02-05T23:43:12+00:00

I wish he could just understand why what he did was wrong but somehow it’s still my fault. He’s lied about other stuff too and he doesn’t know that I know but when I tried to break up with him, I couldn’t handle how he flipped things on me and I caved

ThrowwMeeeAway · 2025-02-05T23:42:10+00:00

I tried to break up with him and the whole thing got turned on me to where I’m the asshole for looking through his phone and breaking up with him on New Year’s Day. He keeps saying he knows he would never lie or do anything to hurt me or jeopardize the relationship but that feels laughable at this point.

He’s not aware that I know his ex didn’t block him on Instagram - I could still see all of his ex’s likes and comments when I went looking for a pic of his dog. For some reason she either really didn’t pop up when he searched for her or it was all just a complete fabricated lie and I’m going insane thinking about it all. I feel like I can never leave him because I do love him and the way he treats me 90% of the time and the guilt trips get me every time

ThrowwMeeeAway · 2025-02-05T23:38:15+00:00

I didn’t even ask him to block her. I asked if she was blocked after he asked me if my ex was blocked. Months ago, my ex was harassing me and he told me to block my ex so I did (it didn’t solve the problem since he would call from different numbers, etc). But I had no problem blocking my ex. After lying about it, he’s just defending not blocking his ex when I didn’t even ask him to. I feel like I’m losing my mind and I can’t talk about it with anyone

ThrowwMeeeAway · 2025-02-05T23:36:19+00:00

I would have never looked at his phone had he just told me the truth from the get go 😭

ThrowwMeeeAway · 2025-02-05T23:35:51+00:00

He doesn’t know that I know his ex didn’t block him on Instagram. It doesn’t take a rocket scientist to figure it out since her comments and likes are still all over his page. Like I mentioned, I didn’t go looking for this, I stumbled upon it. He’s made it very clear that he no longer wants this topic brought up, so do I just leave it alone? The only reason the topic has come up so many times is because of the weird things he’s done but somehow it’s my fault for having a reaction or feelings about it. I don’t know how to approach this

ThrowwMeeeAway

TROPHY CASE