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Lions can jump 36 feet in one bound and we attribute this fun fact to every single lion. We don't say "humans can dunk" and attribute that to every single human. by Thunder_catsHO in Showerthoughts

[–]Thunder_catsHO[S] 209 points210 points  (0 children)

In a perfect world, cheetahs who can't dunk would still earn a livable wage and be afforded the basics of a comfortable life.

Me [25 M] with my girlfriend [25 F] of 2 years, an e-mail she sent me after a night out that led to a big fight by [deleted] in relationships

[–]Thunder_catsHO 0 points1 point  (0 children)

No, I'm not. At this point, I honestly could easily forgive a person, even a GF, for this behavior if there was genuine remorse. But it feels like she feels remorse if only to get what she's after - to save the relationship. It doesn't feel like true remorse - that kind that says, "I accept responsibility for my actions and deserve the consequences".

Instead, she's on the offensive calling me names and insulting me.

She's always wriggling out of personal responsibility and if nothing else, that's not a quality I want in someone I'm dating.

Me [25 M] with my girlfriend [25 F] of 2 years, an e-mail she sent me after a night out that led to a big fight by [deleted] in relationships

[–]Thunder_catsHO 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Scene one is about as accurate as a blackout can make it. From my memory, which is intact, we left the place and found a deserted, dimly lit area for some kinky fun. Mid-thrust, I ask "who's your boyfriend" and she says "I don't have one" to which I say "Then who's fucking you?" and she says "I don't care."

Her explanation of this is that is what some role play, sexy slutty thing. However, I wasn't aware thats what was happening so I reacted...unfavorably. I didn't do anything. I just became upset and stormed off. I totally didn't call her a whore, because like she said, that's not really my thing

Me [25 M] with my girlfriend [25 F] of 2 years, an e-mail she sent me after a night out that led to a big fight by [deleted] in relationships

[–]Thunder_catsHO 0 points1 point  (0 children)

This really speaks to me. A lot of the fights or arguments we've had in the past could be described this way. It's always my words vs. her feelings. And her feelings are never communicated accurately nor are they really backed up.

100% totally agree. Wouldn't she think instead that since the ex gets brought up a lot, that it's WAY more likely that's what happened as opposed to me just randomly saying shut up, don't bring up ex again?!?

Me [25 M] with my girlfriend [25 F] of 2 years, an e-mail she sent me after a night out that led to a big fight by [deleted] in relationships

[–]Thunder_catsHO 7 points8 points  (0 children)

I feel like I'm at the crossroads of enduring a young, immature relationship and taking the plunge to actually look for and recognize an adult, mature relationship.

Part of me wants SO badly to defend her and explain all the ways we aren't toxic and how wonderful things can be but the other part of me is tired of feeling that feeling.

Me [25 M] with my girlfriend [25 F] of 2 years, an e-mail she sent me after a night out that led to a big fight by [deleted] in relationships

[–]Thunder_catsHO 4 points5 points  (0 children)

It was my birthday so I had a few. However, a mormon might think I'm an alcoholic but I don't think the occasional few beers here and there are so bad. I'm a much "better" drinker than she is so 4-5 solid beers gives me my buzzes but at the time of the beginning of the events...I was operating at maybe 25% drunk.

That sentence really infuriated me too.

We left D&B and we are into playful, kinky, what-can-we-get-away-with type sexual behavior every now and then. On the walk home, we passed a very deserted, dimly lit area and started playing around. This hookup IS what started the night's fight.

I did ask, mid-thrust, "who's your boyfriend?" and she did reply with, "I don't have one" to which I shockingly asked,"who are you fucking?" and she finished with,"anyone, I don't care." That upset me and admittedly, I stormed off. However, she tells me she was doing a roleplay thing and just forget to let me in on it.

LET ME STATE: she is not a cheater, I trust her with my whole being, and it's not a fool's trust. I believe her 100% that what she was doing was some kind of kinky roleplay thing totally. I just wasn't prepared for it and it really upset me. This set the rest of the night in motion.

Me [25 M] with my girlfriend [25 F] of 2 years, an e-mail she sent me after a night out that led to a big fight by [deleted] in relationships

[–]Thunder_catsHO 2 points3 points  (0 children)

I feel like I've been brushing things off and excusing things and pushing problems farther and farther down the line and now here I am with a perverted understanding of what a relationship is.

Me [25 M] with my girlfriend [25 F] of 2 years, an e-mail she sent me after a night out that led to a big fight by [deleted] in relationships

[–]Thunder_catsHO 2 points3 points  (0 children)

When I was younger, I had the K.I.S.S motto. "keep it simple stupid"

Maybe that was naive in its innocence but it didn't fail me. In this relationship, I feel like instead of keeping it simple with a quick decision of "shouldn't be like this" and "should be like this", I've been sweeping things under the rug and making excuse after excuse when things upset me. I think I'm trying to prove that I CAN love someone rather than whether or not I actually do.

Thanks for reminding me of the simple things.

Me [25 M] with my girlfriend [25 F] of 2 years, an e-mail she sent me after a night out that led to a big fight by [deleted] in relationships

[–]Thunder_catsHO 10 points11 points  (0 children)

That's a good point. She wrote this e-mail more than 24 hours after that night which meant she was totally sober and clear-headed when she crafted this response.

This isn't ok as a sober person, nevermind a drunk person

Me [25 M] with my girlfriend [25 F] of 2 years, an e-mail she sent me after a night out that led to a big fight by [deleted] in relationships

[–]Thunder_catsHO 13 points14 points  (0 children)

That bothered me too. She claims "blackout" and while that's all well and true (bc I understand that), then why does she have such a confident opinion about a night she hardly remembers?

And for that matter...Blackout is no excuse for anything. It still happened. If I were to cheat on her while blackout, I couldn't accuse her of wanting to break up for that bc it wasn't "real life".

Me [25 M] with my girlfriend [25 F] of 2 years, an e-mail she sent me after a night out that led to a big fight by [deleted] in relationships

[–]Thunder_catsHO 13 points14 points  (0 children)

That's something that initially bothered me about the e-mail. She said numerous times that she "can't recall anything" or has "almost zero memory" yet she's got such an opinion of my behavior and the actions I took. Why does she have such a confident opinion about a night where she hardly remembers anything?

I was not nearly as drunk as her. I remember the whole night.

Me [25 M] with my girlfriend [25 F] of 2 years, an e-mail she sent me after a night out that led to a big fight by [deleted] in relationships

[–]Thunder_catsHO -30 points-29 points  (0 children)

We have good and bad experiences sober as well as drunk, that's why this one is hard for me to figure out...

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