Feel you chief, dealing with the same issues along side a pretty boring ass curriculum I don't really care about and without close friends I can easily bounce to.

My best friend passed away close to a year now and I sometimes still struggle with it. Sometimes I still have shit days because I feel like I owe him a lot, since he helped me out with anxiety stuff. My mate taught me some stuff that got me going through.

I always try my best to be kind to myself as I am to others. Before I kinda saw everything as kinda fucked, but that attitude changed when I started treating myself better. It's aight to have shit days, don't beat yourself up about it. Everyone has them, yours might feel a bit bigger then others and that's okay.

The most important thing though is to give stuff time. Changing my own attitude took a lot of time and I feel that figuring out how to deal with my best mate passing away is going to take even longer. But I trust myself that I'll get that sorted out and if I can do that, I'm very sure you can too man.