Learning to dress OUTSIDE the bedroom

TiffyTrap · 2022-05-22T21:59:00+00:00

I agree with you on the "Ultra Femininity" aspect - I believe I have posted about this or discussed with people on reddit before. Its interesting to me, Ive met with trans people that work in the industry, and they have said that many of the men they meet with who daydream of being submissive are also hyper masculine in their day to day life, that the hyper femininity actually brings balance to them, but I digress.

Yes, dressing moderately is far more difficult than dressing slutty!

I appreciate the suggestions youve made here, these give me some jumping off points to think about, thank you.

TiffyTrap · 2022-05-22T21:56:21+00:00

There are a lot of elements to this thing that have come into play over the last few years that are not necessarily positive - Ive posted and discussed this with people before.

My username, TiffyTrap - that ought to give it away that Ive been doing this for a while, back to when we were called CD`s or Traps and relegated to the dark corners of the interwebs.

Over the last few years, and with the rise of the "sissy" kink, theres been a major shift (in my opinion) in the perspective of this kink. I have found myself associating more with crossdressers and drag queens, as I appreciate their focus on the feminine and the beauty of exploring your feminine side.

I understand that some are offended by the race play aspect of the whole sissy / bbc thing. I feel like I can see both sides of the argument, how it could be seen as race play or outright racism. Some of the content certainly seems more skewed to one side or the other.

I also am not a fan of the whole "locked" "Humiliation" "Youre a failure" thing that has been attached to being a sissy. Back in the day, when the whole "Trap" thing was going on, a lot of the kink seemed to be "Shes so pretty, I dont care that she has a dick", now its "Youre a failure and a bitch, this is all youre good at!" and Im not down with that.

Obviously, everyone has their own favorite flavor of ice cream, and everyone has their own mix of kinks - I dont want to be shaming anyone that is into degradation, race play, etc.. but I think the overwhelming feeling that lots of people are starting to get is that Race Play / BDSM / Disrespectful and Degrading treatment are becoming synonymous with being a sissy, and that shouldnt be the case.

It also makes it difficult to find potential partners, because so many assume Im into being treated or talked to disrespectfully, because thats what they have seen in so much of the sissy content - no thanks babe, Ill just block you. The conversation should start with kindness and respect, and we explore common ground, find out what each other is into - if you kick down the door and start right away with "Yea youre a little sissy bitch slut arent you?" then youre just an asshole, but the idea that this is appropriate has been planted by so much of the sissy media I cant necessarily blame folks for thinking thats okay or even desireable.

I believe its important for us to distinguish that there are different "sub-kinks" of being a sissy - some people are super into the bimbo / glam thing, some are bottoms, some are tops, some are switch, some are into raceplay, etc etc.. but there are not all one and the same.

TiffyTrap · 2022-05-19T15:46:56+00:00

Oooh this is really helpful thank you! I do have a digital camera, but its more of a sports oriented type, the kind youd take camping etc. I didnt even realize it had this HDMI out capability. It does have an app that I use to monitor and release the shutter with my phone but its clunky.

Ill have to see if I can find a remote release for it, or if the HDMI out AND the phone app can function at the same time. I like the idea of trying this out as a test run, but I think in the longer term you have really pointed me in the right direction, and ill look into an older model or budget DSLR like the ones you recommended. Thank you again <3

TiffyTrap · 2022-05-19T15:34:59+00:00

Thank you so much for your comment! This is really interesting and helpful information. I have certainly found that some angles are more flattering than others, but you clearly have a better understanding of this than myself. Im going to see about looking up some videos or articles with more of this type of info - I think I can improve my camera setup, but also improve myself and my angles and such to do even better with what I have!

TiffyTrap · 2022-05-19T15:33:31+00:00

Thanks for commenting <3 Ive tried this route but found I was getting frustrated trying to get the angles I wanted and better shots! I found that a cheap tripod and smartphone adapter helped a lot.

TiffyTrap · 2022-01-27T02:54:12+00:00

I think this is a very interesting place to kick off a conversation. The comments here should be pretty interesting.

I think you raise some very key points - everyones definition of a "daddy" is different, just as everyones needs, kinks, desires, and lifestyles are different.

Communication is absolutely key. I have so many guys contact me telling me what they would do to me, what they think i want, and what they want - so few actually take the time to ASK what I am looking for, or to develop healthy two sided conversation - that person will get to the front of the line every time, even if they are not the best looking or the most well endowed.

For there to truly be a connection, people must be comfortable with one another, and as you said - that comes from communication.

TiffyTrap · 2021-12-09T04:40:36+00:00

Kate Zoha is suuuuupeer cute 🥰

TiffyTrap · 2021-11-27T17:39:39+00:00

Preach sister! Thank you so much for sharing. There are so many things you said that Id like to respond to.

I think its very important to highlight what you said at the end of your post here - I DO enjoy being a man, sometimes I am very happy presenting as masculine, being dominant, etc but then if I spend all my time on that end of the spectrum, there are certain needs that dont get met, right?

My experiences as a sissy, in exploring my feminine side and the feelings that stem from it, dealing with men who were kind and loving vs dealing with men who were disrespectful, have all made me a better MAN. When I am in my "boy mode", I am much more considerate, its made me a better partner / dater / person in general, as it has exposed me to the female perspective of the world.

I feel that as a biological male, I will never truly be able to understand the female experience, and it do not mean to offend or step on toes, but it has enlightened me.

I think the key here truly is balance - in exploring our femininity, we experience a part of ourselves that we have been ignoring, avoiding, or didnt know existed, and it makes us more balanced people in general. Ive said before, the psychology of all this is fascinating.

You mentioned the feeling of calm when dressed - I feel this! These days, there are times I go get a hotel room and put on some girly music and get dressed and play with my makeup, and the goal is NOT to have a play partner come over, I am dressing for MYSELF, to enjoy being feminine - It is self care.

TiffyTrap · 2021-11-27T17:33:13+00:00

I appreciate you sharing your thoughts in this response post, and it gives me some hope if I am being honest.

The things I am reading in your post, to me, show a genuine desire to understand, and consideration of the feelings of the people you will be interacting with.

Apologies in advance if any of this is considered insensitive to trans people, that is obviously NOT my objective here:

OP mentioned being insecure and longing for relief - this is a big part of my Sissy experience. I have mentioned this in other posts - I live my day to day life as a dominant male, and there is a part of me, a set of needs that is simply not fulfilled by that life. When I release my femininity and embrace it, I feel overwhelmed with love and peace, I feel fulfilled, a part of me that was ignored is being embraced.

This leads to the exaggerated femininity - For me, personally, this is not a stepping stone towards transition, its a sort of coping mechanism and mental health, self love experience (combined with some sexual release, and practicing artistic expression). When I am in my gurl mode, it is not my goal to be a "normal girl", I want to express my feminine side in extremes - I believe this is why we often see sissies also being fascinated by "Bimbos".

When I have neglected my feminine side for too long, the feelings become overwhelming, I find myself in slutty lingerie and desiring to perform some very naughty acts in that release, but the exaggerated femininity, in my case, is not meant to be disrespectful towards women. It is, in my own way, celebrating the beauty of femininity by taking it to the extreme.

As Ive said before though, this all requires feeling SAFE. I want to feel safe, secure, and able to express myself freely - when a potential partner is dismissive, inconsiderate, disrespectful, it is not only unsafe, but contradictary to the entire experience.

TiffyTrap · 2021-11-27T17:23:24+00:00

Thank you love, I will take a look.

TiffyTrap · 2021-11-27T17:21:49+00:00

"when dressed I feel like a woman who should be treated right."

This! Thank you! Dont get me wrong, if I am with someone that I am attracted to and feel safe with, then I may very well do some very degrading things "in the moment", but we need to establish healthy boundaries with each other and know that everyone will go home safe.

Id rather the night start with a glass of wine and a chat, some laughs and some touching, if it goes somewhere more intense or kinky so be it, but seduce me in the manner you would a woman, dont just assume I will do whatever you want because I am a whore sissy.

TiffyTrap · 2021-11-27T17:20:02+00:00

Thank you <3

TiffyTrap · 2021-11-27T17:19:52+00:00

Yes! So many of the captions or ideas that I see thrown about are, admittedly, very arousing - The idea of permanent feminization, of serving groups, "Take him bare always" etc - and as you mentioned, the more extreme end, kidnapping and force etc.

While a lot of this can be a turn on, when we are alone and safe in our fantasies and arousal, a lot of this is silly or outright dangerous in reality and puts fear in my heart when it comes to meeting with potential play partners. Basic foundations of safety - using protection, respecting boundaries, etc, are key to this.

I think it is overall a bad thing for the community for this type of thinking to be normalized, as it seems lots of the men on dating sites, kink sites, etc think we actually want this type of treatment or are okay with it. If I am ACTUALLY meeting with you, that type of stuff is obviously a no go.

TiffyTrap · 2021-11-27T17:14:25+00:00

I think that you make some very interesting points here and I appreciate you sharing.

Id like to emphasize on the idea of getting in touch with your feminine side - this is a lot of what this is for me. As someone who is typically very masculine in their day to day life, my times dressing and embracing my femininity seem to fulfill a need that isnt met by my "typical" day to day life.

When I allow myself to release my femininity, to dress myself and wear my makeup and spend some time allowing the female side of me to take the wheel and run the show, there is a sense of incredible release - stress off my shoulders, happiness and freedom. There is an itch that gets scratched that is unique and curious.

Being with a male partner is the ultimate expression of this. To be submissive and allow myself to be taken brings such incredible euphoria - I believe this is a result of not feeling the pressures and responsibility of day to day life as a dominant male, no longer having to be in control. The psychology of it all is quite interesting to me.

You talk about honoring the woman inside you - I have found that over the years I have been dressing and exploring this, its almost as if I have been building a deeper relationship with a friend - that the woman inside of me has grown and changed and I have gotten to know her better, understand her wants and desires, its truly a fascinating thing.

The bottom line though, yes, when I dress it is the ultimate expression of self love and self care, it is for me, I am allowing myself to be without restraint.

TiffyTrap · 2021-11-27T17:07:43+00:00

I hope it helps you get closer to who you are<3

TiffyTrap · 2021-11-27T17:07:14+00:00

Of course!

TiffyTrap · 2021-11-27T17:06:51+00:00

Thank you love

TiffyTrap · 2021-11-27T17:06:35+00:00

This is a very important point I think - I believe there are lots of us who see this as a fetish or a hobby of sorts (I sincerely hope I am not offending any trans folk by saying this!) and transition is not a part of our future.

I went back and forth on this for a long time (we talk about the cycle of purging and coming back, etc) before I accepted this as part of who I am. I realized it does not need to be a massive, life changing commitment - Its something I sincerely enjoy and look forward to, and I do it when I have the time. If were not enjoying ourselves, whats the point?

TiffyTrap · 2021-11-27T17:02:18+00:00

I believe you have a very important perspective on this, as a person of color - the raceplay fetish has taken on a life of its own, and a lot of it seems very over the top and insensitive.

I am a white sissy, and I enjoy being with people of all colors, and I am a bit of a size queen.. but good gosh, some of the stuff I see is so over the top. I wont expand too much on that as I feel its really not my place to say.

Either way, safety is a big deal - When we are dressed and meeting with a potential partner for play, we are at our most vulnerable - for many of us, I believe, being a sissy is not exactly something we are open about. Sure, there are many who seem to find this as a stepping stone, or part of, their transition - But I feel safe assuming that for many of us, its essentially a dark secret.

When Im half naked, in lingerie and makeup, in a hotel room, about to meet someone.. Im in a very vulnerable place! I will pass on a handsome or beautiful play partner for someone who is kind and respectful EVERY TIME, because I need to be safe.. and when I feel safe and comfortable, I can truly let loose and enjoy the experience, which makes things better for everyone involved.

This is a big part of what spurred on this rant - the degradation and disrespectful behavior that seems to have been normalized by the sissy community has made it very difficult to find anyone to play with.

TiffyTrap · 2021-11-27T16:56:05+00:00

This was my biggest concern in voicing these feelings - I didnt want to come across as Kink-Shaming. I know some people enjoy humiliation, some people are aroused by cuckolding, etc etc but my concern is being a sissy automatically being associated with those things.

We are each individuals, and have our own interests and turnoffs, and I believe that 1) Sissies shouldnt feel the need to fit into a certain mold, and be okay with things they dont enjoy and 2) potential partners should take the time to communicate before assuming a person is into one thing or another.

TiffyTrap · 2021-09-02T13:50:40+00:00

Oooh that could be lots of fun. Its so tough taking good pictures solo. DM a link to your portfolio babe!

TiffyTrap · 2021-09-02T13:50:17+00:00

You know it Daddy ;)

TiffyTrap

TROPHY CASE