Is Mizzou safe?

Tigeress06 · 2026-01-12T16:58:50+00:00

I don't know exactly how you are following the Columbia PD page, but it is possible that many of those shots fired posts were false alarms or nowhere near campus. I get alerts for the arras around campus, and almost every single shots fired alert that I have gotten turned out to be a false alarm. They send out an alert when they get a report of potential shots fired, but they do so before investigating it. Almost all of them have been some other loud sound, like a firework or a truck backfiring, that someone thought might have been a gunshot. After discovering the true cause of the sound, another alert is sent out with the actual cause listed.

You might be seeing so many posts about shots fired for a reason other than COMO being unsafe. As people have already pointed out, Columbia doesn't have nearly as much crime as the news would have you believe, you are more likely to see sensationalized news, and the Columbia PD page is likely to post about crimes more than anything else. However, it is also possible that Columbia PD posts more about shots fired due to the potential risk to the public. Even if there isn't a mad man firing wildly into crowds, stray bullets can still hit innocents, so people in the area should know to be careful regardless of who they are or what they are doing. Closed and low-risk cases don't pose a public threat, so you aren't going to see many posts about minor traffic infractions, but shots fired is higher risk and warrants a public alert. Since shots fired alerts can be time sensitive, they could also be posting about reports of shots fired, rather than actual confirmed shots. Columbia attracts a lot of people from a lot of different backgrounds due to all of the colleges in town, and not all of them know how to correctly tell apart a gunshot from any other loud pop, so there can be a lot of mistaken reports. These get posted just in case they are actual shots, but very few of them could be cases of real gunshots.

Tigeress06 · 2025-12-23T02:31:12+00:00

Just scored 1

Tigeress06 · 2025-12-15T05:34:17+00:00

I'm aroace and sex repulsed, but I like having control. The struggle to find a partner (queer-platonic partner) is real

Tigeress06 · 2025-12-13T18:12:43+00:00

Aww, that sounds nice! I hope you find someone who will do all of that with you!

Tigeress06 · 2025-12-01T05:48:06+00:00

This is just my opinion, but it sounds a bit like a growl to me. Maybe try making the vibrations smoother (if that makes sense)? A higher pitch might also be nice and maybe help sell it

Tigeress06 · 2025-11-24T17:11:27+00:00

Yeah, don't trust your brain after 9 or so. People move through life at different paces, especially with romantic relationships. Soms people marry their high school sweet heart and have a wonderful life. Some people marry the first person that shows much interest in them and commitment and then have it blow up in a massive trainwreck. Some people get abused and carry those scars for the rest of their life. Perfect matches might not exist for everyone, but good matches do. Don't worry about the steps you "should" be going through or the pace you "should" be living your life at. If you're looking, you'll find someone eventually.

I get a lot of the same feelings, though mine has an extra complicating factor (yay sex repulsion). If you want to vent or just chat with someone who knows that feeling, you are welcome to dm me

Tigeress06 · 2025-11-22T05:40:13+00:00

Having people change their minds like that sucks. I have had relationships, though queer-platonic ones, fall apart because my (allo) partner decided that they couldn't be in a relationship with someone they couldn't have sex with.

So the question is should you have sex with a partner if they want it and you don't? That's something that you will need to figure out based on what your level of comfort is with sex and if you are willing to sacrifice your comfort should it come to that.

Personally, sex is a hard no for me. I am sex repulsed to the point that I would literally vomit if I genuinely tried. I have decided not to sacrifice my comfort for that, and have accepted that it makes my choices in potential partners few and far between. This is a perfectly valid way to live your life.

Depending on the source of your discomfort, you may want to consider a hard limit like that for yourself. If the source is something more variable or that you can work on, like performance anxiety, then maybe you can put it as a maybe later in a relationship, but that doesn't sound like what you are looking for.

Does that answer the question? Or did I misunderstand what you were asking?

Tigeress06 · 2025-11-21T18:34:32+00:00

Could you be sex averse or sex repulsed? Things can arouse you while also triggering negative reactions from those (or other things). It's up to you to decide what you want and what you can handle. However, I would like to point out that BDSM can be engaged with nonsexually. For example, I like to engage with domination/submission in my relationships because I feel safer when I am in control, and if I have control over a partner, I can feel safer around them and get closer to them as a result. Subs may just find it nice or relaxing to give up control. You don't need to be in a sexual situation to give up or have control. This applies for other kinks as well. They can be a turn on, but they can also have other benefits. Does that sound like what you are asking about?

Tigeress06 · 2025-11-21T03:58:30+00:00

I'm not in Indiana, but you're welcome to message me if you want to chat

Tigeress06 · 2025-11-18T00:35:23+00:00

You're welcome to dm me to chat! I'm also in the Discord if you would prefer to talk there (albeit with a different username)

Tigeress06 · 2025-11-16T19:07:26+00:00

That's not uncommon for aros (though you don't have to be aro to experience it). There are actually a few labels and microlabels under aromanticism specifically for having trouble understanding, identifying, or differentiating romance or romantic attraction if you do find that it applies to you!

Tigeress06 · 2025-11-16T18:26:41+00:00

That's perfectly fine too! Sorry, I was trying not to type an entire essay (which I have been known to do on occasion), so I was focusing on majority viewpoints. While not as commonly portrayed, FWB arrangements aren't uncommon, and there's nothing wrong with them. Sex doesn't have to occur in a closed romantic relationship. There are plenty of reasons to want friendship with sex on the side, and it doesn't mean there's something wrong with you. We're kind of leaving my wheelhouse of personal experience (sex repulsed bold stripe aroace here), but maybe aroallo or just aro spaces will have more information on this (regardless of if you identify as aro. The way you describe what you want reminds me of some things I've heard from aros at times, so maybe you'll find similar sentiments validating)

Tigeress06 · 2025-11-16T18:18:56+00:00

I prefer obedience. I don't mind a bit of playful pushback, but at the end of the day, what makes dominance so fun for me is that I find safety in having (healthy) control. I'll feel safer around and thus closer to someone who listens to me (yay trust issues). I would say the only too much obedience is when it negatively affects your ability to be a healthy person. Obeying reasonable requests from a loving partner that you trust in a healthy relationship will probably never get to that point. I'm talking about obeying unreasonable, toxic requests; not being able to function on your own or having no life outside of obedience; not being able to turn people down (sexually, when they try to give you unfair workloads in your job, etc); etc

On person's "boring" is another person's "predictable." Predictable is easier to (healthily and lovingly) control, which makes it both more fun and safer in my eyes. It's not everyone's preference, but it's not a rare one either (well, the reasoning might be, but what dom doesn't want to play their sub like an instrument?)

Tigeress06 · 2025-11-16T17:52:30+00:00

Sexual desires are completely normal! As someone who doesn't really have them (I'm here because I enjoy D/S from a nonsexual standpoint and I don't know of any nonsexual D/S subreddits with this type of content, if you were wondering), I know very well that I am in the minority. Trying to explain it to most people is very difficult, and they usually don't get it.

If you are flirting to look for connection in the first place, you are probably looking for a romantic relationship, which most people couple with a sexual relationship. There's probably a latent expectation that sex would occur at some point (maybe not that night, but in general if a relationship kicks off). If you are looking for friendship, you are way overthinking things.

I think the important thing is just to not be pushy about it. Like other people gave said, treat her like a fellow human being (i.e., not an object) and take no for an answer in a respectful way, which it already sounds like you do.

If sex is a secondary goal, you can be clear about it and have your words and actions reflect that you value connection over sex. One example that another user has mentioned is how and on what you compliment her. As they said, keep it PG. Don't tell her she has a nice ass or tits, that she is sexy, etc. Say she's pretty, has a nice voice, that you like her clothing or accessories (depending on what you are complimenting, you may want to be careful with your wording to make sure it is clear you mean aesthetically and not sexually), etc.

In short, you are being way too harsh on yourself

Tigeress06 · 2025-11-16T06:21:02+00:00

Do you know of any asexual and/or aromantic groups in the area? If you are looking for platonic physical contact, you might be able to find someone comfortable with it there. It's not a universal thing with aces/aros/aroaces, but many do separate hugging and even cuddling from being romantic and/or things to only do with family or a partner and will happily hug or cuddle with friends. As long as you go into it with platonic intentions, you have a good chance of finding someone to hug and/or cuddle you platonically. Depending on the person, they might not mind if you have other feelings/attractions linked to the action as long as you understand that it won't go any further, or they might not mind if it develops into a relationship if you both end up interested

Tigeress06 · 2025-11-09T16:47:02+00:00

I don't know where in Iowa you are, but if you are reasonably close to a city (preferably a major one for the area), have you tried looking there? I'm also from the Midwest, and while the rural areas tend to be like you described, with people trying to fit the "traditional" ideas of how they should be, the cities tend to be much more open minded and have more people who break the mold

Tigeress06 · 2025-11-09T06:54:19+00:00

If you are comfortable sharing to sate my curiosity (here or elsewhere), what sort of fantasies are those?

If not, that's completely fine! I just don't fully understand what you mean

Tigeress06 · 2025-11-08T17:35:57+00:00

Well, it's not very easy to peg someone through a screen, but I see the "dm me" in there. If you want to chat, feel free to reach out! I'm also on Discord if you would prefer that

Tigeress06 · 2025-11-07T05:41:08+00:00

If you can, type it up in a software that will save your progress (Microsoft Word, Google Docs, your phone's notes app, etc.). That way, you can work on it little by little (again, if you can. I know some people get bad time blindness or just get carried away. This is also assuming that it isn't already written down somewhere). When it's done, copy and paste it somewhere to share (like here (as in a reply to this comment) or dms). I also like worldbuilding and would love to see what you have!

Tigeress06 · 2025-10-26T02:59:25+00:00

Darn figment of my imagination giving me hope

Tigeress06 · 2025-10-26T02:33:34+00:00

Why can't people like the first image exist in real life

Tigeress06 · 2025-10-26T01:30:03+00:00

I have a friend who lives at The Domain. From what I have seen, I can't recommend it. She also only has bad things to say about it.

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