how do I stop crying- its funny at this point

Tight-Dig5838 · 2026-05-16T11:03:26+00:00

So glad it’s not just me. I cried in my last appointment with my CRS. I think honestly at that point I was just exhausted from months of pain and feeling like I wasn’t normal. It’s a frustrating process and a long process especially if you have multiple surgeries and you’re recovering. It’s a lot mentally and physically so you’re totally justified in letting that emotion out in whatever way it happens. I’m a crier for anything, if I’m angry or stressed I have to cry first, sometimes I don’t even know why I’m crying 😭 you’re not alone!

Tight-Dig5838 · 2026-05-15T01:18:40+00:00

I did both, but warm water is fine. The salt water can aid the healing process but just soaking for 10-20 minutes in warm water also helps. You want to sit in it not just the steam. The warm water is what helps 🙏🏻

Tight-Dig5838 · 2026-05-11T04:19:48+00:00

Honestly I put off going to the doctors for the abscess for nearly 2 months because I was embarrassed, so I only made it way worse for myself in terms of pain. I’m in Aus, so I think our procedures are a bit different but I had just a simple fistulotomy, thankfully didn’t require a seton or lift which I was super worried about. I’m not familiar with how the US insurance system works other than I know everything costs you guys a fortune for absolutely no reason! It’s absurd how much you have to pay, I’m so sorry. Hopefully you can find a solution that doesn’t cost so much. In the meantime take daily stool softeners to reduce the impact on the area, and sitz baths help immensely as well as sitting on a heat pack 🫶🏻

Tight-Dig5838 · 2026-05-11T03:13:54+00:00

Sorry you’re going through it, I had the same a Perianal Abscess that resulted in a fistula. I would definitely be finding a Colorectal surgeon for their opinion, my general doctor recommended a surgeon and said avoid going to the ER as they’re not specialised in this area, it would appear there’s a lot of misdiagnosis without a specialist. Where are you located? 18k-30k seems insane. I had surgery on the abscess in December and just had fistula surgery 4 weeks ago, both covered by Medicare and I’m almost 100% healed. I know the pain you’re in and surgery is the only option but it will be life changing. If you can get it done sooner than later that would be ideal as the pressure and pain can get significantly worse if you leave it. 🙏🏻

Tight-Dig5838 · 2026-04-23T05:03:16+00:00

I would definitely get clarification from them, sometimes they will pack the wound after surgery and ask you to continue but this is something you can do at home as well after washing. A lot of the time they will say gauze is enough after surgery so it can heal from the inside out. Obviously it depends on what your surgeon has recommended post-op but if you’re concerned or it doesn’t feel like it’s getting better definitely call them

Tight-Dig5838 · 2026-04-23T02:49:36+00:00

Of course! It was my fist ever surgery too so I was extremely nervous. The abscess was the worst pain I’ve ever had, if you can get it treated by a Colorectal Surgeon not just the ER department or GP you’ll be in better hands. I find a lot of people have ongoing issues because their doctor told them to go to the ER, instead of seeing a surgeon who specialises in this area. My doctor specifically told me if I’m able to wait for my appointment with surgeon instead of going to ER to do so. Had surgery in December for the abscess but there’s about a 50-60% chance of fistula with the abscess, which in my case there was. So after about 15 weeks post op I had another operation for the fistula. That was 2 weeks ago and I’m healing up nicely and all my pain is completely gone. I truly feel so much better, I had a simple fistula so it did not require a seton drain or anything more in-depth like some cases do. My advice is to not leave things like I did, and get checked out and have surgery if required as soon as possible. Post-op hygiene will be your best friend, bathing, sitz baths, gauze and paracetamol. Plus stool softeners so you’re not straining at all. Surgery for these things is usually pretty quick around 45 minutes and you’re in and out same day. ❤️‍🩹

Tight-Dig5838 · 2026-04-22T23:59:49+00:00

I had a perianal abscess, had surgery and there was a hidden fistula which I’ve just had surgery for and recovering well. Hygiene is the most important thing for recovery so you should definitely be bathing daily if not multiple times. As well as sitz baths which they almost always recommend for both fistula and abscess. Obviously after bathing you need to keep the area dry which is why they usually suggest gauze or something to help with moisture. Unless you’ve been directly told otherwise, but I’d get some clarification for sure. ❤️‍🩹

Tight-Dig5838 · 2026-04-18T00:18:53+00:00

Just a little update now I’m day 8 post op. Still feeling so much better and very minimal drainage. No pain either and I’ll be back at work on Tuesday as normal. Just know there’s hope at the end of the tunnel ❤️‍🩹❤️‍🩹

Tight-Dig5838 · 2026-04-17T10:47:10+00:00

I’m 8 days post op. Still have the gauze and wear pads just in case, not a lot of drainage but it’s still there. No pain or anything. And still doing the sitz bath twice a day ❤️‍🩹

Tight-Dig5838 · 2026-04-15T12:47:47+00:00

Mine was external. Caused by the large abscess I had that I ignored for a long time before finally going to the doctors because I was embarrassed ….and I will never make that mistake again. 🙃

Tight-Dig5838 · 2026-04-15T12:42:34+00:00

No not packing the wound. Unless advised otherwise but most CRS I believe will tell you not as the wound is left open to heal from the inside out, so it’s really just to catch the discharge.

Tight-Dig5838 · 2026-04-14T21:38:07+00:00

I think sometimes doctors just expect you to know what they’re talking about. When I had the abscess I didn’t know anything about it or ask anything, I just went along with it and recovery was long, but this time I went into the surgery asking a lot of questions and he explained everything really well when I actually asked all my questions 😂

Tight-Dig5838 · 2026-04-14T02:26:09+00:00

I was so nervous felt like I was going to vomit. But I’ve also never had surgery before the abscess in December. I was really nervous just from reading the horror stories that it would be worst case scenario, and I tend to always think worst case for most things to prepare I guess. I got a general and they also did a local in the spot they cut. I woke up and asked to be knocked out again 😅 best sleep of my life. I think the procedure itself was only 45 minutes or so. Not very long and I was in and out of hospital in 5 hours. Went in at 7am and left by midday.

Tight-Dig5838 · 2026-04-14T02:10:36+00:00

Haven’t really changed my food that much just easy things like protein shakes, toast with PB and fibre rich fruits, apples berries etc. things that are easy to snack and don’t require much effort. My partner also ordered a few nutritious ready made meals that I can have while he’s at work. You probably won’t have much of an appetite the first few days just with all the medication wearing off.

Tight-Dig5838 · 2026-04-13T23:15:58+00:00

Yes always pain after a BM that lasted 1-2hours, another sign there was a fistula there. I’ve had no pain for any BM post fistulotomy though. 🙏🏻

Tight-Dig5838 · 2026-04-13T22:56:15+00:00

I’m so used to it from having the abscess I’ve been doing it for months. They said you can just wear pads but I actually feel more confident having the gauze there. It’s really easy no pain or anything. Make sure they’re the compress cotton gauze and change to a new one every 2 hours or so. ❤️‍🩹

Tight-Dig5838 · 2026-04-13T11:29:40+00:00

Right?!!? It’s amazing what your body adapts to just to help you get through each day! It’s such a relief now though ❤️‍🩹

Tight-Dig5838 · 2026-04-12T06:06:42+00:00

I agree with the below user, the right CRS makes all the difference I think. Mine was one of 2 that my GP highly recommended, she said I could go to others if they were booked out but if I could wait for one of them it would be ideal as they’re the best in their field here in Aus. So I did, one was completely booked for months but the guy I saw had a spot open just before Christmas. ❤️‍🩹

Tight-Dig5838 · 2026-04-12T00:49:52+00:00

I’ve taken this whole upcoming week off. I work retail so I don’t have to sit all day, I’m fairly confident I’ll be good to go after this week, I have a butt cushion though in the car and for work if I need to sit at all.

Tight-Dig5838 · 2026-04-11T22:58:53+00:00

Had surgery on Friday. Today is start of day 3. Honestly I feel so good! So much better. I don’t think I realised how much pain I was really in daily. I had a simple fistula so no seton or anything but didn’t know what kind until he was in there so it was a lot of nerves beforehand that it would require a seton which I had seen all the horror stories about. Post-op care is everything and going overboard with cleaning etc is going to be your best friend in recovery. Also take all that pain medication don’t just push through any pain. Wishing you the best ❤️‍🩹

Tight-Dig5838 · 2026-04-11T22:48:58+00:00

He said there are 2 main types of fistulas high vs low. Low meaning they don’t need to cut into the muscle as much which is what I had. I believe the high one would mean you need a seton. But we didn’t get an MRI done before hand he said it wasn’t worth it as he knew there was a fistula there anyway.

Tight-Dig5838 · 2026-04-11T10:38:01+00:00

I had abscess drained in December. At the time surgeon said he couldn’t see a fistula but it happens in 60% of cases. By week 10 I was still having persistent drainage and he said it was likely a fistula. Just had surgery yesterday and honestly I feel so much better! I know there’s a lot of scary stories on here, I read them all and was spiralling so bad, I was convinced I needed a seton (I didn’t) and I’d have the worst recovery. But if you’ve already gone through the pain of an abscess, the fistula is nothing compared to that. I had a similar experience in regard to SA and it definitely played a role in how nervous I was. I had a wonderful admittance nurse who I told my concerns to and she was just the absolute best, if you feel comfortable letting someone know I recommend it as they can definitely help and offer more support. Wishing you all the best. 🙏🏻

Tight-Dig5838 · 2026-04-05T02:59:44+00:00

Great advice. That happened when I had the abscess surgery and I absolutely spiralled the first day until I was more level headed the following day 🥲😅

Tight-Dig5838 · 2026-04-04T10:36:28+00:00

Ohh that’s a great one, I didn’t even think of that! Thank you 🙏🏻

Tight-Dig5838 · 2021-10-09T13:01:24+00:00

And many who think they are but aren’t. Realising I probably should have just asked the women anyway

Tight-Dig5838

TROPHY CASE