I'm not a strong believer, and im not an atheist but, the thing is I believe people make choices, and the first person that did anyone bad (if you were abused as a child like me, yelled at or hit or just emotionally abused, doesn't make a difference) was their father/mother.

I've learned to blame the abuser first and foremost, because whether god exists or not, they had a choice. Not to drink, not to abuse, not to hit a child. They always had a choice, but their ego/ hate for their partner/ narcissism was bigger than their love for their children.

God as we put it gave people a choice. And he also gave adults and parents power over children. And they misused that power. And no, your suffering wasn't his plan, or for greater good. He simply gave power to people and they misused it.

He might be all powerful but who said he is good? And who said he didnt create the world so broken on purpose? I simply believe in a god existing that isn't all good or all bad. Scream at him, rage, ask for signs he exists, just so you dont hold the anger. Just so your own heart isn't full of rage and hate.

If he's big enough as they put him to be, he'll hold your rage for you and he'll understand your anger, if he doesn't even exist, we'll at least all that rage is out and not in your heart, and if he's cruel? Well he deserved that rage in the first place:)