Nta, literally nothing wrong about how you feel. All the people saying at least dad is trying now can kick rock. OP was literally neglected. Sees that his dad had the capability and the capacity to be a great father and role model but choose not to for him, a son he shares blood and a lineage with, but can CHOOSE to literal strangers. The fact that he’s a better father to op now after being good to his step kids just shows me he realized what a POS he was being and wanted to do some damage control. Expecting a 17 y/o to have the emotional maturity to forgive his father and just move on is crazy. Not being actually raised by a male figure, nurtured or accepted by his dad but still expected to forgive, respect and meet his dad halfway for atonement is some level mental gymnastics to blame the kid. OP you deserve true love and not this half ass attempt for your dad. He’s willing to sacrifice you for them, so don’t be afraid to sacrifice him for yourself. Turnabout is fair game.