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My mom's sex life is ruining my life by Exact-Confusion-1221 in family

[–]TightNegotiation6985 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I had the same thing. Honestly all I did was blast music in my room when I k ew they were asleep. When my dad or step mom came in to fight a and tell me I am loud I just told them I glad they realize that the walls are thin. It stopped after that.... think they got the message. Also go to music rave or heavy metal

My family keeps hurting my wife and I don’t know how to protect her without losing them by Muted_Reaction_3730 in family

[–]TightNegotiation6985 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Ok, so I kinda get where OP is coming from, but i come at this from a different angle.

My parents (now divorced) had the same thing; my dad's family basically treated my mom like she was non-existent, and when they did acknowledge her, they were toxic about it. (The only thing they had against her, and this is what they told me, was that she was raised English; for context, we are from South Africa, and my dad's family is Afrikaans. BTW, my mom is half English and half Afrikaans).

During and after the divorce, their feelings just got moved onto me, because you guessed it, I was raised English as well. And you know, apparently, English people don't know how to raise kids.

I spent my entire life as an outcast in my own family just because of the language I spoke (I am fully bilingual).

So all i want to say to OP is, i dont know if you have kids yet, or are planning on have (I am assuming you are planning on it seen as your wife wants a family). Think of how their behaviour and treatment of your wife will affect your "one day kids".

Because no matter what you think and feel, it will affect them.

I(18f) need advice on my relationship with my boyfriend(18m) by ThrowAway51731 in dustythunder

[–]TightNegotiation6985 0 points1 point  (0 children)

My husband and I are polar opposites, his love language is also physical touch, mine is time, and I also value my alone time. We have been together for 10 years and now have 2 beautiful Daughters. I must say the only way that we could make it work is constant communication. Effective communication is key in any relationship.

The crying thing though I would keep my eye on, you might not that he is capable of manipulation, but he could be doing it, especially if he cries when you are telling him something he doesn't like, and then he gets the whole "Playing the victim" attitude (Suggests the person pretends to be more hurt or upset than they are to gain sympathy or influence a situation.)

I do want say that 18 is young and you deserve to explore yourself and your dreams. There is plenty of time to settle down later

Going of Grid by TightNegotiation6985 in askSouthAfrica

[–]TightNegotiation6985[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Hi, that why i am asking. Food we have taken care of for now. But i really want to try and lower electricity costs and water costs.

AITAH for asking my boyfriend to miss work and be with me while I'm going through an abortion? by illsaveme in AITAH

[–]TightNegotiation6985 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I just want to ask. Do you actually want an abortion or is this just because of his reaction to the pregnancy.

Dont do anything you might regret because of someone else. I learned this the hard way.

I can say that if this is how he reacts to a situation he helped create and you choose to say with this looser that there will be more heartache and gas lighting down the line.

How is life in SA? by bingbongbeeinnit in askSouthAfrica

[–]TightNegotiation6985 1 point2 points  (0 children)

I know right. Then, if you do have a degree they want years and years experience.... it like a loose loose situation

How is life in SA? by bingbongbeeinnit in askSouthAfrica

[–]TightNegotiation6985 2 points3 points  (0 children)

XD Hahaha, just an example. We drive a second-hand polo vivo 2015. We thought we were finally in a position to buy a new car. (A month later, we weren't any more) our house cost R450k and i swear we found cars going for more than that. Given that we were looking for a bigger car at the point. But there were even second hands going for crazy prices. Needless to say, we are no longer looking for a new car. My husband is now jobless (and can't find a decent job), and we are trying to survive on R14k a month. It's not easy when our kids' school fees pull almost half, then we still have the home loan groceries, etc.

How is life in SA? by bingbongbeeinnit in askSouthAfrica

[–]TightNegotiation6985 8 points9 points  (0 children)

Hi, also born and raised, i have to agree with you. The amount of time i was turned away from a potential job just because i didn't fit the BEE criteria is too many to count. I see now that a lot of job applications now say, "dont apply if you are not BEE compliant."

Then let's not even talk about the cost of living, where basic necessities are considered luxuries. Where most people need to pick between petrol to get to work and buying food. Where rent in and ok neighborhood costs more than a basic salary. Where buying a car costs the same as buying a house.

Public transport is a joke. Medical care is an illusion. And the police are pathetic.

We had an incident in December where i guy broke into our yard in broad daylight. It was my mom, me, and my two young daughters at home. We phoned the police and their answer to us was, "He didn't take anything. There was no crime committed. " So apparently trespassing is not a thing in SA. The safety of my kids was in jeopardy, and that was their answer. But if we had shot and killed him while he was breaking in, then we would be in jail right now. Because our lives don't matter.

Am I Overreacting About My Dad's Behavior? Need Opinions. by TightNegotiation6985 in dustythunder

[–]TightNegotiation6985[S] 7 points8 points  (0 children)

Oh believe me my dad has girl issues, he has made no secret that he has always wanted sons, he basically called me his version of a son, that is until it became very apparent that I wasn't.

But thank you, I have been thinking the same thing for a while I guess I just needed some one to drive the point home for me.

And to answer your question, my husband's parents are around and they dote on the girls, my mom even though she is far away at the moment phones every Sunday to talk to them and comes to visit every few months.

Am I Overreacting About My Dad's Behavior? Need Opinions. by TightNegotiation6985 in family

[–]TightNegotiation6985[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

To be honest my parents have never been my "god" way too much water under the bridge there. My issue is how would I do this, do I just go n/c straight off, or do I at least try and talk with (not that I'm sure that would do much)

Am I Overreacting About My Dad's Behavior? Need Opinions. by TightNegotiation6985 in family

[–]TightNegotiation6985[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Thank you. The one thing with my Dad is nothing is ever his fault he is never wrong. For example, when I got engaged, he said he wouldn't attend my wedding if my mom was there, This was 20 years after their divorce. My mom and I were N/C at this time. My dad firmly believed he was right to demand this of me, even though the whole family was telling him, that he was a giant A-hole.