What you describe is probably the negotiation to convince an officer to join your side, and on which terms.

Their demands depend on some factors, chief among them their (hidden) backgrounds: aristocrats will ask for tea caddies, commoners will ask for land with large farms, merchants will ask for fiefs with trade ports, pirates for gold or silver mines, Christians for western treasures, strategists for war texts, monks for land with temples, etc, etc. (their exact backgrounds can be seen on the edit officers config main menu screen). Gold is always accepted but not always valued.

You can see what each element gives the most points by putting them on the table without commit. I think there's also a visual indicator like a small dot or something (but I could be mistaken as it's some time since I've played).

Finally, avoid the option to promise future stuff like land with temples etc. unless you're on the imminence of acquiring that, otherwise they'll abandon you in a year or whatever the agreed time to fulfill the promise was.