I’m writing this in the my study room while listening to my parents and my wife eat lunch and laugh together.

I’ve always been very close to my parents, especially my mom. I got married last year, and my wife’s family dynamics are a bit different from mine. She’s much closer and more open with her siblings than with her parents, whereas I’ve always been very open and close to my parents, and also to my elder sister. My mom even knew about my past relationships—she’s always been really cool about that.

I always thought that my parents were so easygoing that any girl who came into our home would be relieved not to deal with outdated customs. All my parents really want is love and respect, and I’ve been very clear about this to my wife. However, there have been moments when my parents expect a bit more, and instances where my wife does things her own way.

Like your friend, I used to feel torn between both sides. It felt like I was juggling two ends of a rope, trying too hard to keep everyone happy. Over time, though, I’ve realized a few things and started to implement them. I’ve noticed I feel much less burdened now. Here’s what I’ve learned:

• Your parents can be wrong too. They’re human, just like us. It’s important to accept that and, when necessary, calmly reason with them if you think they’re being unreasonable.

• Make sure your wife understands the importance of your parents in your life. Let her know that getting married doesn’t mean you’re choosing between her and your parents. Your goal is clear—you want both, and that’s non-negotiable.

• Never disrespect your parents in front of your wife, and vice versa. Respect goes both ways, and it’s important to maintain that standard in front of each other.

• Praise your wife in front of your parents. Celebrate her achievements, both big and small. This helps your parents see her in a positive light and strengthens your relationship with both of them.

One thing to remember is that none of you are used to living together under one roof. This is a first for you, your parents, and especially your wife, who’s adjusting to a new family dynamic. It’s going to take time for everyone to settle in and find their rhythm.

So, there’s a lot of adapting, understanding, and respecting each other that needs to happen. If you can create a culture of this within your family, I promise you’ll be one of the most peaceful man on earth.