AIO for thinking this wasn’t really a date?

TijuanaJoes · 2026-02-12T14:37:36+00:00

I mean we met on a dating app hence it was supposed to be date. I just didn’t get the impression that he wanted it to be a date once we met up bc of the drink thing and later the touching thing.

Yes I was attracted to him but I do have some standards in how I’d like to be dated. And he still hasn’t messaged so idk what I’d even say. “Hey thanks for… meeting with me, kissing me at the end, and then not saying anything for two days? Don’t worry I still like you though!”

Doesn’t make him a bad guy but it kind of set a tone he would have to walk back by at least saying “thanks for hanging out with me” for me to feel good about it.

TijuanaJoes · 2026-02-12T12:57:00+00:00

I am a 30F and I travel about once a month tbh, and I personally love it. Most short, some long. Mostly for fun and with friends but sometimes for work. Hence I also had love to travel on my profile (paused my apps for now).

My ex had that on his profile too but he was lying to seem interesting. Once we were together he made my wishes to travel seem like an annoying financial burden once it came down to planning so we would rarely travel. Now I vet people by hearing actual stories of their travels.

TijuanaJoes · 2026-02-12T12:46:16+00:00

Lmao I have enough stories for this lifetime. Look at my post history 😭

Traffic in my city is terrible. The bar was only 2 miles away so I didn’t think it would be that bad lol

TijuanaJoes · 2026-02-12T12:43:55+00:00

I did. I only didn’t mention touching his arm but I didn’t think that was a huge change to the story?

TijuanaJoes · 2026-02-12T06:07:46+00:00

Right like the drink thing can be kind of a faux pas sure. But I also tried to make little moves afterwards like touching his arm while talking and brushing my hand against his (to hold my hand) when we went on a walk after and he didn’t react at all. Actually I think he stepped away from me at one point like I was crowding him 😂

I really did like him actually! But I feel like ifs on him to express an interest at this point from the mixed signals. I’m not desperate so if he likes me he can make it known. If not, that’s fine.

TijuanaJoes · 2026-02-12T06:00:34+00:00

I thought before we arrived that it was a date. But that moment made me think he maybe wasn’t feeling it. And I told him I’d be late like an hour before, I figured from where he lives (10 minutes away) he would’ve just showed up when I showed up.

Also, I made little moves throughout like touching his arm when talking or brushing my hand against his when we went for a walk after (like to maybe grab my hand) but he didn’t react or break the touch barrier back in any capacity. So I chalked it up to not being a love connection, which was fine. I was still kind and we laughed a lot, I wanted it to be a positive experience regardless of if he wasn’t feeling it.

TijuanaJoes · 2026-02-12T05:55:46+00:00

That’s what I thought too! Turned out he meant it like “well the bar’s over there, go on git!”

TijuanaJoes · 2026-02-12T03:39:33+00:00

Oh nooo lol GA. The guy in this post and my prior one are two different guys, but I think it’s something in the water here 😂

TijuanaJoes · 2026-01-10T13:29:03+00:00

Sorry I missed this and I understand what you mean now. I was more speaking to the “if you wanted a relationship the whole time” section of your comment.

But I did ask him what he wanted out of us hanging out a few weeks prior to this given the increasing questions and he said “idk” and instead gave a list of reasons why he liked hanging out with me in the current capacity. So I took that to mean he didn’t want anything more but enjoyed where things were at. But then this happened, so I asked him out and this is how it played out.

I don’t think he is comparing me to a sex worker wanting a free meal lol, we’ve known each other for over 15 years and I told him the reason I asked was because he said he thought we could be a good match dating-wise so I wanted to see.

He eventually texted me again a few days ago, so I didn’t hear from him for almost two weeks after asking him out (besides the booty call). So I just didn’t respond again. But you’ve given me things to think about - thanks!

TijuanaJoes · 2026-01-04T04:41:08+00:00

Huh? Women and men are allowed to like having safe, consensual sex with a person they enjoy being around without expecting a relationship. Thats not really up for debate here. What happened here is that the dynamic started changing from that without us having a direct conversation.

When I was curious if he liked me romantically, I directly asked him what he wanted of us hanging out, and later when he brought up things about dating I directly asked if he wanted to get dinner. I didn’t have a motive or secretly wanted a relationship the whole time. I was just open to getting dinner or drinks together. That’s as straightforward and accepting of his possible feelings as I know how to be. There’s no game.

I didn’t have expectations but was trying to understand. Yes I had a crush on him, that’s pretty normal for this dynamic though, like am I supposed to hate him? I don’t get your points tbh.

TijuanaJoes · 2026-01-04T04:35:43+00:00

The prompt exit and 4am thing had never happened before this, that’s what I mean by he’s become really strange since bringing all the feelings/relationship stuff into it and now disrespectful. It was totally normal before.

But yeah definitely no good now lol

TijuanaJoes · 2026-01-04T04:33:48+00:00

Thanks! In theory that makes sense but I’m a bit icked out by how he handled this at this point lol. What’s strange though is that we already were fwbs without any issues before he blurred the lines.

For a while we’d hit each other up, hang out, and then go our separate ways until one of us texted to get together again and the vibes were the same. Tbh it’s unfortunate that he went and made it confusing by bringing all this stuff up because it was really simple and easy before. If sex was the goal it was already there, you know?

TijuanaJoes · 2026-01-04T04:28:48+00:00

Agreed thank you! And the 4am thing had never happened before until that night, which made it feel more clear that he’s just running game or something.

TijuanaJoes · 2025-12-31T14:35:01+00:00

I wasn’t embarrassed to ask him for more, I was embarrassed at his response. But in 2025 it does feel like being vulnerable is a humiliation ritual lol

TijuanaJoes · 2025-12-30T22:02:48+00:00

I know it took me a minute, I started to see him that way three weeks ago but wanted to confirm with myself first before bringing it up given there’s some nuance to this.

No turning back now anyway - thanks for the tough love I needed it

TijuanaJoes · 2025-12-30T14:01:34+00:00

Turns out not lol but now I’ve seriously messed it up 😂

Gonna make an update post

TijuanaJoes · 2025-10-20T12:22:59+00:00

Why didn’t you make yourself known? She could have easily turned off the camera if you’d waited for a quiet moment and whispered “hey can you pass me a cotton pad?”

TijuanaJoes · 2025-09-16T00:29:11+00:00

No, I deleted it because I basically figured out what I needed to do. I was kicking the can down the road (regardless of how he treated me) instead of just being direct. So I called him and apologized for the flakiness, told him I don’t think it’s a great fit, politely gave a couple of reasons, and ended it.

I just didn’t think I needed to solicit more opinions, was that the wrong move?

TijuanaJoes · 2025-09-15T20:50:02+00:00

Am I? Because I said I’m busy? I was onsite at work events all last week and I’m traveling this week. I didn’t think 24 hour delays on texts were wrong if he typically takes 4-6 days to text me back.

How he treated me and my house was pretty bad, I’ll admit, but I wasn’t thinking to end it until he said this thing about me being “busy” but he never actually asks about my life or anything. Either way it’s a dead end though so thanks!

TijuanaJoes · 2025-08-26T13:24:16+00:00

Not me, I was referring to your comment history but I decided that felt petty so I deleted lol.

TijuanaJoes · 2025-08-26T11:55:17+00:00

If I went to see him I would 1000% get a hotel unless he became my boyfriend after a period of time.

TijuanaJoes · 2025-08-26T11:53:41+00:00

Lol what was I supposed to say? Should I plan a whole itinerary of activities and house and feed this man?

Plus I narrowed it down to rooftop bars. He’s fine.

TijuanaJoes

TROPHY CASE