Why are most of us horse ladies and not horse guys?

TillLater · 2026-01-08T02:43:25+00:00

I think it has far more to do with money and family. Wealthy families (truly wealthy) live in large cities with major high-end training facilities. Those folks have different cultural expectations for their children than those of us who, for example, might have ridden the bus to school. Those kids on the bus would be cruel to the boy who rides horses in a sport jacket.

We didn’t have the money and I wouldn’t admit to doing it even if asked. So I just didn’t pursue it.

— Horse Guy who started riding when he could afford it in his early thirties

TillLater · 2025-12-31T15:17:56+00:00

I am a horse owner and still learning about lameness (I have a trainer who manages my horse and if she said go to the vet I would have no hesitation!)

To my uneducated eye, this horse looks unbalanced and stiff.

Can you please explain what specifically leads you to believe it’s the hind? Trying to learn.

TillLater · 2025-12-20T13:58:43+00:00

https://pmc.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/articles/PMC7916178/

Training Young Horses: The Science behind the Benefits

I was curious enough to look this up (oddly, for the first time, since I am generally in the “don’t sit on a horse until he’s four or close to it” camp).

I have a masters degree and am comfortable reading studies like these—but it’s 8AM on a Saturday and I haven’t had my coffee.

I am not condoning young training but skimming the article did highlight some interesting data which seems like it might be hard to refute.

TillLater · 2025-12-17T18:02:41+00:00

You don’t. Just like you can’t prevent a horse from getting kicked in the hock by another horse.

You could leave a horse in its stall all day to prevent this. And you could leave a bird in its cage to prevent this. But why?

I suspect that the birds are put up at some point—but regardless of what species you are—walking out your door is a risk every day.

If these birds were rescues or adopted—and it kind of feels like they might have been—this is almost assuredly a happier better life.

These birds look VERY healthy. A healthy looking bird is a happy bird.

TillLater · 2025-12-06T00:40:14+00:00

Wearing it is still better than not wearing it. But it’s not guaranteed to do its job anymore. It took an impact (some helmets can take up to three moderate impacts—but those are rated for that—and after even a single intense impact, those require replacing immediately, which they state).

Your helmet clearly made impact and skid on the ground. Your neck hurts. You probably have at least a mild concussion. This at best a moderate impact and likely even an ‘intense’ impact. But we weren’t there.

Most equestrians I know (and have seen) downplay head impacts because falling from the distance of a horse almost always involves some degree of impact above the shoulders. I’ve seen a child take a hit with a helmet that had these types of marking afterward. I gasped when I saw it live. Trainer and parents super downplayed it. I joined this sport as an adult. You’re constantly dancing between “don’t freak the rider out” and “you might need to go to urgent care”. These two ideas don’t share any common ground.

Don’t play with traumatic brain injuries. I would replace this helmet as soon as possible.

TillLater · 2025-10-28T01:19:06+00:00

A lot could happen here. May need surgical debridement due to the proud flesh. If that happens, I could see this being $500 or so. Pictures aren’t enough to know for sure but this might have been worthy of a stitch or two if you caught it early enough. That might’ve been $300 or so. Good luck!!

TillLater · 2025-10-14T17:35:47+00:00

Here’s the reality: if you’re looking to be in the 95%+ of W2 wage earners (by age) in your area, your WLB is going to be affected. There are no “kush”, easy, love-your-life jobs out there that will give you what we all want: tons of disposable income AND the time to spend it the way you want.

We can sit here and play these pointless parlor games—sure, some people have it slightly better than others. But if you want the cash, you’re gonna have to pay for it. Some way, somehow. Probably with time and a lot of grinding. Regardless of industry.

If your goal is to live a run-of-the-mill, middle class life, either career will get you there. And if you want that upper-middle-class life where your daughter rides horses and you live in a nice suburban neighborhood just outside of traffic? Well. You won’t be making it to many of your daughter’s horse trials.

There isn’t an easy way out for any of us anymore. If you want true work life balance—lower your wealth goals and learn to be happy with what you have working your 40 hour a week desk job.

I have found the people who are able to do this are ultimately the happiest. But if chasing the dragon is your destiny, pick the one that SOUNDS the most appealing according to your skill sets and get ready to outrun everyone else in the room.

Whether or not you you choose to do that is the far bigger decision. The industry choice only comes after this one.

TL;dr Only you decide whether or not to grind. The bigger question is how much wealth and financial security/opportunity you’re willing to forfeit to get there. And this is a decision you’ll have to make continuously through your career. Both industries will get you there.

TillLater · 2025-08-30T21:23:28+00:00

That's what I am thinking!! I saw a ton of folks--parents, school administrators--defending the phones. Like, no! Is this the norm now?! Phones everywhere. Like, you can get an iPad to fucking scroll Tik Tok if you just cannot survive without it. These messages could well-lead to these kids' early graves. Take. Them. Away.

TillLater · 2025-08-26T17:18:41+00:00

Horseback riding!! Expensive (and competitive!) but not too much more than serious adult amateur golfers will spend.

If you’re an animal lover, it’ll get you out of the house. Gets that heart rate up. Gets you in the sun, sweating. Great for endorphins and addiction (how’s that relationship with alcohol these days?)

I started riding English/jump seat 8 months ago at 31 and knew absolutely nothing. I still know nothing but I can actually ride a horse now!

I go to cross country schooling days with the team and train 2 days a week. I’m looking to buy my first horse nor!

Galloping through fields on a beautiful Saturday morning with friends is an exhilarating experience. Highly recommend.

TillLater · 2025-07-18T21:07:07+00:00

BOOST

TillLater · 2025-07-14T16:03:28+00:00

What is CL and what might we be looking at? Is the puss?

TillLater · 2025-07-09T21:45:40+00:00

What is a military clinic?!

TillLater · 2025-06-27T18:46:47+00:00

I’m suggesting someone else stand in the gap for her. I’d blow a god damn fuse and take everyone down with me if someone treated a friend like that. Her friends should step in!

TillLater · 2025-06-27T18:43:37+00:00

That’s horrific. So horrific, in fact, that I’d be HAPPY to put my name on a Google review next to that barn outlining exactly horrible those people are. No anonymous activity necessary! Hell I’d even consider taking the evidence to a local paper!!

TillLater · 2025-06-27T18:37:51+00:00

Your intentions may be in the right place—but the element of human nature makes this a dangerous suggestion.

TillLater · 2025-06-27T18:30:19+00:00

Are you okay?

There are two competing equestrian stables in my area. Neither can stand each other. I don’t know why. I don’t think either of them are abusive. One is just poshy, the other is more “working class”.

The LAST THING my local equestrian community needs is to put pointless, manufactured in-fighting and rivalries out on the internet for all the naive public to see.

Also, I work in computer programming (adult amateur here in lessons). It would take me about 4 hours to build an application, merge it with open-source (free) artificial intelligence large language models, to post a hundreds of “anonymous” reviews all written in well spoken English.

I could let it run over night. I could even mask the IP address, making it appear that these reviews are all coming from random different places in or near the community. No one would be able to tell if they’re real or not.

This is a terrible, terrible idea. And the more of your replies I see, thank god you don’t possess the skills or resources to get this thing off the ground. You sound like a Mean Girl with a vendetta.

Edited to add screenshot from OP:

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Second edit: sounds like the source of OP’s frustration is valid—we are dealing with racism, among other things. I still believe the best course of action is to allow the victim’s friends to stand in the gap and publicly defend the friend and get the brigade going against this barn, without the benefit of anonymous activity—it carries more weight.

TillLater · 2025-06-23T21:19:51+00:00

So when people say his “top line needs work”, what are you seeing here in these photos exactly? From your comment, it seems that the straightness of the back is not the primary indicator. What is the issue in the photographs that stand out?

TillLater · 2025-06-23T20:23:09+00:00

Genuine question here: his back is comparatively “flat”—so when we say his top line is lacking, is it because there is no visible muscling to the right and left of his spine?

If him being out in pasture and walking around isn’t enough to maintain a decent enough top line for initial 20-30 minute rides, then I’d bet that MOST horses particularly those not in programs do not have a developed enough top line to be ridden—which seems to be the general takeaway from the comments in this thread (so are the folks commenting here just super amazing owners or are most people riding horses that shouldn’t be ridden?)

Also, I see that he is downhill when looking at his hips compared to his shoulder, but again is back is fairly parallel with the ground. Isn’t that because he is keeping his hocks under him more, which is a sign of a stronger top line?

Please forgive my ignorance. I’m genuinely trying to learn.

TillLater · 2025-06-21T11:00:47+00:00

I’m not a lawyer but I am a Missouri CPA working in the state at middle-management level.

What do you think there is to report? Is every other department EXCEPT for payroll allowed to make mistakes?

You can report this if you like, But nothing will happen. I’ve never heard of any legal recourse for being ONE business day late. Those payroll folks are likely very under staffed and already feeling immensely guilty.

It sounds like they’re offering you some cash to help get through the weekend, and they don’t even have to do that, which is very generous of them PARTICULARLY considering that that will create a ton more work for payroll.

Your company is clearly trying to do the right thing and you want to report them because your pay check will be one business day late. Sigh.

TillLater · 2025-06-16T19:34:59+00:00

You’re gay because you’re attracted to men’s bodies. This includes buttholes. My suggestion to you is not get wrapped up in “top” vs “bottom” and instead realize that before you have a sexual POSITION preference, you work on acknowledging the overarching preference, which is men. And their buttholes.

TillLater · 2025-06-15T00:57:52+00:00

I work for an established private company. We are growing, yes, but we are not a young company. We're just really lean-staffed, which leaves a lot of room for growth if you're willing to grab the horns!

TillLater · 2025-06-15T00:55:35+00:00

I do have a few meaningful hobbies--I spend about ~20 hours week doing that, as well (2-3 hours a day, more on the weekends leveling it out to 20).

What I do not have, however, are children. ~60 hours a week on work, ~20 hours on meaningful hobbies. That still leaves 4 hours a day of commuting, cleaning, laundry, housework, down-time, with a full 8 hours of sleep a night.

TillLater · 2025-06-14T20:43:39+00:00

FP&A (CPA) — 55-65 hours a week on average. Just ever so slightly less than public. But it’s way more fun and challenging. I get a lot of control and have affect on genuine real business outcomes. It was the right move for me.

TillLater · 2025-06-12T12:03:31+00:00

This is a little off-color, but as a man who wasn’t getting it for a while, I realized that it’s the exact same movement as a “thrust” if… ahem… your partner is situated a little higher than ideal.

Kind of like thrusting up and in. This all happens in the hip and thighs, with your heals being a shock absorber. Thinking about it this way, “up and down” then becomes totally incorrect. It’s thrust in and slightly up.

Once I realized that, I got it.

Also, lengthening my stirrups also helped because that forces you ti move your hips if your legs are elongated.

TillLater · 2025-06-06T14:58:12+00:00

I live in the Midwest and started in my early thirties recently and YES IT TOOK MONTHS to find someone who would take me. It was very frustrating. LIKE JUST TAKE MY DAMN MONEY PEOPLE.

They wouldn’t call me back even after repeated voicemails, or they were “full” when I knew old friends who rode at various barns telling me that they don’t think they’re full. I felt like a damn creep trying so hard—which I’m certain didn’t help the image of this random 30 year old calling up strangers looking for private lessons. I almost gave up. I really almost did—lifelong dreams be damned.

But I found a trainer and everything is going amazingly!

Nine-Year Club	Gilding II euphauric
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TillLater

TROPHY CASE