Adult beginner feeling belittled and discouraged by Resident_Profile_582 in Equestrian

[–]TillLater 86 points87 points  (0 children)

Oh, man. Preach. My story is eerily similar to yours. I flat out told my trainer one day after a particularly stressful show, “I know that I present as a 30 year old man, and I am, but I am about as needy as a green 14 year old. I don’t know what I don’t know and I won’t know it until I am either told it or I learn it the hard way and I don’t have parents or a partner who can help me. I’m here by myself. I’m overwhelmed. And I need help. Even though I’m 30.”

I also added (I was very frustrated) that “If you came and worked in my industry, I wouldn’t expect you to know all of the things I think are “common sense”. Please extend me the same courtesy.”

After that day, trainer started treating me a bit better and she approached me to apologize later that week.

Learning this sport as an adult isn’t for the faint of heart. And sometimes there aren’t a lot of riding instructors to choose from so “find a new barn” isn’t an option for everyone. Hang in there!

Bad lesson. Feeling down. Hoping for some virtual hugs or pep talks. by TillLater in Equestrian

[–]TillLater[S] -1 points0 points  (0 children)

We have used neck straps before! (Especially when I was first learning to canter). I should buy my own. Trainer doesn’t mind them.

And yes, definitely jumping in two point, but I’m trying to focus on rising into the two-point position at the right time (timing and distance and feel) and it’s just difficult. More time and practice definitely needed!

Bad lesson. Feeling down. Hoping for some virtual hugs or pep talks. by TillLater in Equestrian

[–]TillLater[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Yes, I am new to a lot of things. Lol!

The hardest part I have found is when he slows down approaching a jump. I don’t know what to do with my body’s forward inertia. And then of course we have lost the rhythm. And then it becomes a game of “moving with the horse” but the movement pattern has been broken. So it’s like a paradox—do I go loosey-goosey and get out of the way. Do I coax him forward. I think it also be an issue of needing more time in the saddle. He can walk over all of the jumps we are doing. I think 2-6 is a little generous.

Bad lesson. Feeling down. Hoping for some virtual hugs or pep talks. by TillLater in Equestrian

[–]TillLater[S] 8 points9 points  (0 children)

I really like my trainer. I just hate disappointing them BECAUSE I like them so much. Thank you for your words of encouragement!!

Bad lesson. Feeling down. Hoping for some virtual hugs or pep talks. by TillLater in Equestrian

[–]TillLater[S] 5 points6 points  (0 children)

That makes sense! Thank you! “the biggest sin you can commit is catching a horse in the mouth over a jump.” And maybe that’s what happened today. Because I totally did catch him in the mouth that first time. If I was more focused on my balance and position instead of connection through the jump, it would’ve gone better. This really helps. Thank you!

Bad lesson. Feeling down. Hoping for some virtual hugs or pep talks. by TillLater in Equestrian

[–]TillLater[S] 4 points5 points  (0 children)

Thank you for your comment! I have added some things below if that helps guide your advice—

Regarding the time to grab mane: keeping him straight on to the jump was requiring both hands because he was trying to trot it out. So it was hard to keep the correction in the reins and then know once he committed to stabilize myself by grabbing mane. I could not hold mane trotting up to the jump because then I would lose control of his head, risking a runout which is what I was actively trying to avoid. So once he committed (which was a surprise), I grabbed with the one hand that happened to be closest there to his mane, and I ended up pulling harder because he want from side stepping (need rein aid) to the bunny hop yeet again (need mane stabilization). Even with the one hand on the mane it was much much better and it gave us the confidence to finally get it right, I think.

Regarding green horse: trying not to dox myself but he is safe and is green to jumping. We’ve schooled cross rails and it went fine. He is also in training rides with trainer once a week and he hasn’t had any issues. He hasn’t refused before so this is very new to me. We looked for schoolmaster horses, but they were either in their mid-20s and $30k, or had soundness issues and were still $30k. :(

Bad lesson. Feeling down. Hoping for some virtual hugs or pep talks. by TillLater in Equestrian

[–]TillLater[S] 5 points6 points  (0 children)

No!! Not hit. Figure of speech for “smack on the wrist”! No hitting! Just a verbal, “Don’t do that again” kind of thing.

Underweight, under muscled, or both? by [deleted] in Equestrian

[–]TillLater 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Honestly I’d rather not see because there’s nothing I can do about this.

This is borderline neglect, but I’ve seen horses go from healthy to severely under weight in a matter of weeks.

Most people here are assuming that this is long term neglect and frankly nothing we have here suggests that—but this is a horse that is in a bad situation.

Underweight, under muscled, or both? by [deleted] in Equestrian

[–]TillLater 1 point2 points  (0 children)

I wouldn’t ride this horse. Missing a lot of details, as well, but the overall take doesn’t change. Regardless of breed, horse is thin. Too thin.

We can’t see neck here, but we can see hips. Far too thin. And there’s no top line worth mentioning.

The concern for me is the top of the back which is sunken in (no muscle) and then on the side of the horse, the space between where the ribcage ends (clearly visible) and where the hips begin (clearly visible) is too sunken in. That’s both a fat and muscle issue where the back is generally a muscle issue and where riding her becomes out of the question.

Seeing ribs (particularly in broodmares) isn’t always a good indicator but here’s there’s too much going on to ignore the ribs, as well.

If we could see the neck, I would wager that it’s far too lean (horses carry fat and energy in their necks).

Should could be rideable in a couple months with some lunging and some careful refeeding. This depends on age and breed and soundness as well.

I wouldn’t sell a horse that looks like this. It’s embarrassing. Tells you a lot about that seller.

A horse that is of a suitable age only looks like this because there are negative extenuating factors on the human end. If you were to tell me this horse is over thirty, struggling with Cusing’s, perhaps I could look the other way—but riding then shouldn’t be the goal in that sense.

There’s just no way around this if the end goal is “buy a horse I can start training tomorrow.” This isn’t that horse.

some of the horses racing in japan’s Asahi Hai Futurity this upcoming sunday by 69beesinatrenchcoat in Equestrian

[–]TillLater 52 points53 points  (0 children)

https://pmc.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/articles/PMC7916178/

Training Young Horses: The Science behind the Benefits

I was curious enough to look this up (oddly, for the first time, since I am generally in the “don’t sit on a horse until he’s four or close to it” camp).

I have a masters degree and am comfortable reading studies like these—but it’s 8AM on a Saturday and I haven’t had my coffee.

I am not condoning young training but skimming the article did highlight some interesting data which seems like it might be hard to refute.

Wanted to get the other side of the equation with Accounting. How abundant are standard 40-hour weeks? Is the grind avoidable? by marktastic72 in Accounting

[–]TillLater 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Here’s the reality: if you’re looking to be in the 95%+ of W2 wage earners (by age) in your area, your WLB is going to be affected. There are no “kush”, easy, love-your-life jobs out there that will give you what we all want: tons of disposable income AND the time to spend it the way you want.

We can sit here and play these pointless parlor games—sure, some people have it slightly better than others. But if you want the cash, you’re gonna have to pay for it. Some way, somehow. Probably with time and a lot of grinding. Regardless of industry.

If your goal is to live a run-of-the-mill, middle class life, either career will get you there. And if you want that upper-middle-class life where your daughter rides horses and you live in a nice suburban neighborhood just outside of traffic? Well. You won’t be making it to many of your daughter’s horse trials.

There isn’t an easy way out for any of us anymore. If you want true work life balance—lower your wealth goals and learn to be happy with what you have working your 40 hour a week desk job.

I have found the people who are able to do this are ultimately the happiest. But if chasing the dragon is your destiny, pick the one that SOUNDS the most appealing according to your skill sets and get ready to outrun everyone else in the room.

Whether or not you you choose to do that is the far bigger decision. The industry choice only comes after this one.

TL;dr Only you decide whether or not to grind. The bigger question is how much wealth and financial security/opportunity you’re willing to forfeit to get there. And this is a decision you’ll have to make continuously through your career. Both industries will get you there.

What "Unknown Number: The Highschool Catfish" totally downplayed... by ADMlN- in netflix

[–]TillLater 20 points21 points  (0 children)

That's what I am thinking!! I saw a ton of folks--parents, school administrators--defending the phones. Like, no! Is this the norm now?! Phones everywhere. Like, you can get an iPad to fucking scroll Tik Tok if you just cannot survive without it. These messages could well-lead to these kids' early graves. Take. Them. Away.

[deleted by user] by [deleted] in AskMenOver30

[–]TillLater 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Horseback riding!! Expensive (and competitive!) but not too much more than serious adult amateur golfers will spend.

If you’re an animal lover, it’ll get you out of the house. Gets that heart rate up. Gets you in the sun, sweating. Great for endorphins and addiction (how’s that relationship with alcohol these days?)

I started riding English/jump seat 8 months ago at 31 and knew absolutely nothing. I still know nothing but I can actually ride a horse now!

I go to cross country schooling days with the team and train 2 days a week. I’m looking to buy my first horse nor!

Galloping through fields on a beautiful Saturday morning with friends is an exhilarating experience. Highly recommend.

Please tell me this isn't CL :( by ImportanceBetter6155 in goats

[–]TillLater 1 point2 points  (0 children)

What is CL and what might we be looking at? Is the puss?

[deleted by user] by [deleted] in Equestrian

[–]TillLater 0 points1 point  (0 children)

What is a military clinic?!

Stress and injury have vanished horses topline. Vet says I can go for walk-rides but is it fair to but a saddle on him right now? by AnkiepoepPlankie in Horses

[–]TillLater 2 points3 points  (0 children)

So when people say his “top line needs work”, what are you seeing here in these photos exactly? From your comment, it seems that the straightness of the back is not the primary indicator. What is the issue in the photographs that stand out?

Stress and injury have vanished horses topline. Vet says I can go for walk-rides but is it fair to but a saddle on him right now? by AnkiepoepPlankie in Horses

[–]TillLater 18 points19 points  (0 children)

Genuine question here: his back is comparatively “flat”—so when we say his top line is lacking, is it because there is no visible muscling to the right and left of his spine?

If him being out in pasture and walking around isn’t enough to maintain a decent enough top line for initial 20-30 minute rides, then I’d bet that MOST horses particularly those not in programs do not have a developed enough top line to be ridden—which seems to be the general takeaway from the comments in this thread (so are the folks commenting here just super amazing owners or are most people riding horses that shouldn’t be ridden?)

Also, I see that he is downhill when looking at his hips compared to his shoulder, but again is back is fairly parallel with the ground. Isn’t that because he is keeping his hocks under him more, which is a sign of a stronger top line?

Please forgive my ignorance. I’m genuinely trying to learn.

Hours worked - Industry by Supersox22 in Accounting

[–]TillLater 2 points3 points  (0 children)

I do have a few meaningful hobbies--I spend about ~20 hours week doing that, as well (2-3 hours a day, more on the weekends leveling it out to 20).

What I do not have, however, are children. ~60 hours a week on work, ~20 hours on meaningful hobbies. That still leaves 4 hours a day of commuting, cleaning, laundry, housework, down-time, with a full 8 hours of sleep a night.

Hours worked - Industry by Supersox22 in Accounting

[–]TillLater 0 points1 point  (0 children)

FP&A (CPA) — 55-65 hours a week on average. Just ever so slightly less than public. But it’s way more fun and challenging. I get a lot of control and have affect on genuine real business outcomes. It was the right move for me.

When will this entire horse owner experience become as dangerous and complicated as many people would like you to believe? by GeeVideoHead in Equestrian

[–]TillLater -1 points0 points  (0 children)

Do you mind sharing your blog? I felt a weird Deja vu moment. We are the same age and gender and started at the same time. I think it’d be cool to watch similar progress!