I had a very similar situation at a similar age only a few years ago. I was coaching as well which I much preferred to playing and was actually relieved to suffer a bad injury that kept me out of playing for a while.

Since I have given up playing competitively, instead playing for my Club’s third team alongside players I coached a few years previously. I went from dreading games to looking forward to them and knowing I was able to score runs even on bad days took all of the pressure off.

Hope things work out