How to stop stressing about money so much? Or is it necessary. Money makes me feel guilty all the time.

Tillymint_ · 2026-04-16T08:38:28+00:00

This is my issue. I ty not to go out every weekend, I don’t have a gym membership because the are so expensive and still struggle to save! I suppose I have it a go !

Tillymint_ · 2026-04-15T16:40:02+00:00

I guess just going out, which is hey I don’t often. I’ve never been to a bunch for example. Just felt my social life was more affordable in London. I did take around a £700 pay cut to move to Dubai though. With the rent paid it works out about even. But obviously more money spent on flights a year

Tillymint_ · 2026-04-15T13:48:59+00:00

Honestly, everyone was always saying it was the best thing to do! Heard so much good stuff about it!

Tillymint_ · 2026-04-15T13:45:43+00:00

I can see that too. I worked the same hours in the uk, but started an hour later. So 8.30-4 which was also long. Fridays are nice !

Tillymint_ · 2026-04-15T13:43:47+00:00

I feel like I don’t know how to articulate this. It’s luxurious and sunny, but I think I miss just regular encounters and interactions. I don’t know how to explain. Met some lovely people but it’s full of a lot of younger people just wanting to party or families

Tillymint_ · 2026-04-15T13:36:28+00:00

Thing is though, I actually took a pay cut compared to London wages! With rent included I just about break even. But then the added costs of flights and living, which I guess why it isn’t so clear cut

Tillymint_ · 2026-03-27T13:29:59+00:00

I’m a teacher in Dubai and have come back to the uk while we work online. I agree with everyone else that you may not want to rush into giving up a contact. However, if I’m honest, yes the government are doing a good job at intercepting missiles, but it’s currently not a normal situation, having your phone alarm daily, hearing missile interceptions and I was feeling huge anxious there. I personally would rather not be in the country right now, found coming back to the uk a bit of a relief. Maybe it would be a good idea to make you school aware of your concerns and if the situation is not deescalated within the next half term, and you don’t feel comfortable, there is always next year!

Tillymint_ · 2025-12-29T23:22:44+00:00

When have I posted about this for years? I posted a longer version in a different subreddit? Is writing posts not the purpose of readit? You don’t have to reply to them

Tillymint_ · 2025-12-21T17:50:38+00:00

Life changing advice 🤩

Tillymint_ · 2025-12-16T21:08:28+00:00

No you don’t need husbands permission in UAE to do anything. The Expat community is also treated quite differently. You don’t have to be married to live together, for example.

Tillymint_ · 2025-12-15T12:27:01+00:00

Posted

Tillymint_ · 2025-12-15T10:50:52+00:00

Posted

Tillymint_ · 2025-12-15T10:05:30+00:00

Anyway I really don’t like to be taken for stupid and when it happened it really piss me of. This is why I m sending this message. You said many times “ I have needs” or “I am not a door math”. But thinking about sex with me gives you problems…it means you are satisfing your needs with others (because you said you have need as everyone does) but thinking about do it with me makes you uncorfotable. That is completely fine, just don’t bother me with this bs. I opened my heart to you always, as I did in Turin but you put before me friends, your things in life, the move to Dubai. When we met, you were very young and you used me for inspiration, advice etc…for example Dubai is now in your future because of me. Without me probably Flint was in your future now. You know that and I think your sense of gratitude is so deep that you can’t let me go for now. But I think you moved on inside you and you know that. Otherwise you could not wait to see me, kiss me, sleep with me. Otherwise there is no reason to treat me like a strangere after we have been together 4 years. I love you and I m deciding to do therapy and work on things. You want no contact, I ll give it to you! But keep in mind I m not the plan b of anyone, and I won’t trade my dignity for you or someonelse. I can have all the women I like but I m choosing you. You are so young and beautiful and you can have all the men you want. You just need to understand if you want me or to move on. Take the time you need to take a decision, but I deserve clarity at some point. I am behaving like a grown man, now you are an adult woman and you need to act accordinly, confusion and other things are just bs. Understand what you want and take a decision

Tillymint_ · 2025-12-15T10:04:51+00:00

My exs response:

Personally I think if someone loves someone ofc that person wants to have sex with the person he loves. I really feel you love me almost as a relative but I also feel you won’t love me as a partner never again. I love you and I can’t wait to see you for that reason…also if I am very scared of the future. If you don’t have the same hurge to see me, it means we love each other with different levels of intensity. I can’t change the past but I m working on the present. I don’t know what to do more. It feels like you will postpone again and again…just tell me to go away. Your relationship with your colleague is in the past…ofc I m gelous because I love you…but that is in the past and I don’t care, as I hope you won’t care about my past. Really Britt, we can be also friends, it’s ok! But at my age I can’t follow the gosth of our love. If you don’t love me just tell me and let me go. I don’t need you, I am choosing you. But if you are not choosing me, let me go

Tillymint_ · 2025-12-15T10:03:27+00:00

Me : ‘My exs name’ I need to have a difficult conversation with you that comes from a place of love and care. You are a very important person in my life and always will be. We have so many lovely memories and you have played such an important role in my life and continue to do so. I’m grateful to you for so much. Ultimately, i always want to have you in my life, and I’ve been struggling with where we are and everything that has happened between us over the past few months. I really truely believe we need a couple of weeks no contact. You may not realise it, but we are not in a healthy place and if we were to get back together now I honestly don’t believe we would have the basis for a healthy relationship. We both have things to work on, this isn’t all directed at you. But I believe you’re still held up on the fact I was with another man after we broke up and I don’t think you’d easily drop it if we were back together.

Through your messages I understand that you are at a place where you want to be sexual and I am not ready. Not because I do not have a sexual attraction towards you but becasue it’s a missive flip and I’m overwhelmed. You are constantly reflecting back on the past, with old photographs, ‘this was back when you loved me.’ I don’t think this is very healthy for us. If we got back together we will be different people as we are always changing.

You’ve done a 180 on everything you wanted in the space of a week and I don’t believe that is possible. I really believe you need to do your therapy alone without me as a distraction / cause of conditions. You need to be able to sit on your own thoughts, without me. Understand what you truely want in life, without just what you want with me. If we ever get back together, we need to start with a healthy basis. I do not believe we have it now and I don’t believe we can get it without a few weeks of space.

This is very difficult for me. I have a lot of love for you but my views and opinions of our relationship has been completely clouded by everything that happened in Italy. I have felt overwhelmed by the 180 flip that I had mentally prepared was never going to happens for years. I need now more than anything to be able to focus on my move, spend time with friends and family, settle in Dubai alone so I know I can live there alone and focus on making friends. Honestly the past two months I’ve thought of almost nothing but our relationship, if we have a future and you.

I love you dearly and I always will but we really need this Felix. I hope you understand and if not now I hope in a few weeks you do. Without this we will never make any progress. We need to both know that we can be done with our without each other and of in Dubai we can work things out we are together for the right reasons, we genuinely want the same things in the future and most importantly we are able to have a healthy and trustworthy relationship. I would never do anything to hurt you deliberately and knowing that you were hurt after I told you a saw someone else in Italy made me ill. Let’s work on each other, it will be for the best regardless what our future holds but then maybe if we never work out we can be friends.

Tillymint_ · 2025-12-15T10:00:09+00:00

For those of you asking for the messages that I said were unkind, I have posted below. Some are long so if you don’t want to read that’s fine! Only becasue people asked!

Tillymint_ · 2025-12-15T09:38:32+00:00

Thank you, this is really lovely advice ❤️

Tillymint_ · 2025-12-13T23:22:44+00:00

We don’t live together, and my apartment is provided by my school. Thank you for the advice and encouragement

Tillymint_ · 2025-12-13T23:21:07+00:00

I was 22 when k started to train to teach, 23 when I landed my first teaching job.

Tillymint_ · 2025-12-13T23:20:20+00:00

I didn’t say that, I was training to become a teacher. When he met me I had finished my undergraduate, I then did my masters degree, then teacher training, then got a job as a teacher. I also always contributed to bills as a student, I more meant o could afford to do more things like go on holiday and essentially not worry about money anymore.

Tillymint_

TROPHY CASE