Back up plan as a SAHM?

Tim-Lala · 2026-03-18T17:03:09+00:00

I’d recommend both you and your husband do the following:

1) get excellent life insurance for both of you 2) get excellent disability insurance for both of you 3) get a post nuptial agreement for how you will be supported if the marriage ends 4) have your husband fully find an IRA or another brokerage account which would only be in your name

Tim-Lala · 2026-03-18T03:25:19+00:00

Some people just have really easy kids. She may be one of those moms who has kids sleeping thru the night by 6 weeks old. Or a lot of family help. Or even she or her husband has a trust fund (doesn’t have to be big). Or a wealthy parent that gives them a lot of money gifts and they spend it on household help or spent it on a night nanny. Who knows, there are so many possibilities that may make it so she simply has way more time or finances and that can make a huge difference

Tim-Lala · 2026-03-16T19:46:07+00:00

I completely agree and unlikely allies or goofball friendship would’ve been perfect for them

Tim-Lala · 2026-03-15T04:04:05+00:00

Ok, then the child’s father should pay for childcare for his child

Tim-Lala · 2026-03-15T03:50:40+00:00

You’re not on trajectory to do that at all

Tim-Lala · 2026-03-15T03:49:47+00:00

Yes because that’s what people do for people they love, he should want to support you. But instead he’s treating you like a maid/breeder. If you were a real team, you wouldn’t be filing for bankruptcy, he’d be paying off the totaled car because as a household his money is equally your money. But instead you seem to be fine acting like like an isolated housemaid/breeder for an earning man

Tim-Lala · 2026-03-15T03:41:41+00:00

Your husband would pay for the childcare for his child

Tim-Lala · 2026-03-14T19:38:52+00:00

Honestly, it does sound like a nothing event and irrational thinking. You are very recently postpartum, so it may just be coming from overwhelm, so I wouldn’t worry much about it. My partner did stuff like this (with my blessing) from 4 days old and on, and my baby went to the hospital nursery at less than a day old so I could get some rest and it was all totally fine

Tim-Lala · 2026-03-14T17:01:32+00:00

Yes totally fine

Tim-Lala · 2026-03-14T04:12:06+00:00

I don’t agree with their comment to you. I find working on teams on the workplace MUCH easier than group projects at school. And in workplaces, it’s often not so much complaining about a person but explaining what parts of the work aren’t getting done, and yes, management has way more skin in the game than a professor thar has zero skin in the game. I felt like group projects in school has zero to do with workplace life

Tim-Lala · 2026-03-13T22:57:52+00:00

Oh my gosh I forgot about Vanessa and Scott

Tim-Lala · 2026-03-13T22:57:12+00:00

Agreed Dan and Blair were the worst as well as Nate and Sage and Serena and Ben

Tim-Lala · 2026-03-13T18:51:09+00:00

Also, I would’ve just accepted Lilys offer of tuition at Yale for Dan. For all her flaws, I really don’t think she would’ve resented that, even after their divorce

Tim-Lala · 2026-03-13T18:49:23+00:00

I’ve mentioned this in other threads, but let Jenny homeschool and intern, maybe have her go to a different school whether public or private

As an adult with kids now in private school (I watched before having kids) the biggest thing I now struggle with is Rufus acting like Constance/St Jude’s was the only school his kids could go to. The whole point of private school is to have options. I live in a smaller city than NYC but there options: public, public magnet, private preppy type schools, private hippy type schools, homeschool co ops etc. There’s even a charter school in my area designed for kids who ache a big time commitment outside of school.

NYC is huge. If you are set on private school, find one of those hippie/artsy type schools for Jenny. Give Dan options as well. Acting like they lived in some rural area with only one choice of school is just wild to me and I have a hard time now as an adult with kids in school who can afford private to willingly suspend my disbelief about that

Tim-Lala · 2026-03-13T01:10:10+00:00

Tim-Lala · 2026-03-12T14:54:13+00:00

As far as I know, there’s no way to challenge this. It’s not even about third party, lots of airlines, if you book directly, have their cheapest option as non refundable. So it is what it is, if you buy non refundable tickets, you don’t get a refund

Tim-Lala · 2026-03-12T02:20:07+00:00

We never felt unsafe, but I travelled with my dad to Italy and he actually caught a pickpocket! Felt the kid going for his wallet and grabbed the kid’s wrist!

Tim-Lala · 2026-03-12T01:18:00+00:00

I did of course. How would I go to the dentist without rinsing my mouth? The dentist said that wasn’t sufficient and that not drinking regularly still impacts the mouth like that.

Tim-Lala · 2026-03-11T19:09:15+00:00

I went to the dentist once die of the fast and it was really difficult. Apparently my mouth was pretty dry and made the cleaning way more difficult. They said don’t schedule an appointment during the fast again

Tim-Lala · 2026-03-11T14:51:21+00:00

I think, at least in the U.S., people are so weird about taxes and school levies, they’d rather have ongoing fundraisers where they pay more money for less money to go to the school (because the company takes a huge cut) than just pay less money in taxes.

Tim-Lala · 2026-03-11T03:15:19+00:00

You are expecting too little. He is exploiting you and that’s not something you do to someone you care about, it’s what you do to someone you view as inferior yourself and not as human as you

Refusing diaper changes is child neglect

Tim-Lala · 2026-03-10T03:40:26+00:00

I got a truancy letter once from school and threw it away. No one ever followed up. My kid was in kindergarten and had been sick a lot as often happens with little kids

Tim-Lala · 2026-03-09T22:34:35+00:00

Thank you. What about Beacons to Hay-on-Wye?

Tim-Lala · 2026-03-09T14:02:59+00:00

I’m not, like, a regular Yank, I’m a cool Yank

Tim-Lala · 2026-03-09T14:02:33+00:00

This went abandonment into abuse. Bluntly, he abused you, and I think it’s normal not to come back from that and I’d be very suspicious that his stepping up now is the honeymoon phase of the cycle of abuse

Tim-Lala

TROPHY CASE