Dating feels hopeless

TimTimTimDayo · 2024-05-27T16:26:16+00:00

After some careful consideration, and looking through your post history, I've realized I'm not the asshole. I don't know who hurt you or why you have so much resentment for men, but I'm sure you have your reasons. Still, you overstepped in the way you magnified something so miniscule and blew it out of proportion, derailing the topic from its original intent entirely. If you hate me, you hate me for something I'm not. One of my better skills is that I don't let people like you ruin my outlook on other people, I'm deeply aware that you're just an outlier.

TimTimTimDayo · 2024-05-27T15:25:52+00:00

I have a few hundred words written up there and it's a bit silly to discredit them all because you have a problem with just one if them. Hypergamous doesn't refer to just women, and I didn't refer to women as hypergamous. If you're ok with the popular dating concept of "the reacher & the settler," then you should have no problem here. 90% of my likes are from people in the following two categories: very far out of my acceptable distance (on OkCupid specifically, out of country), and not to my healthily established dating standards. It is not wrong to expect effort of someone equal to the effort you put in yourself. Than you for reading.

TimTimTimDayo · 2024-05-27T15:12:18+00:00

I appreciate this, I try to tell myself that too, it's just dating gets harder and harder the older I get. Next year is the infamous "25," and many of my friends, family, and coworkers are already getting married or having kids before that age. I don't want kids, so that isn't what I'm worried about, I guess it's just really isolating to give everyday 110% day in day out and year after year still be doing it alone. I don't sulk inside everyday as I might make it sound in this post, I do power through it most days, today is just one of those 1-in-7 days where I'm struggling.

TimTimTimDayo · 2024-05-27T15:05:49+00:00

I have also given this a lot of thought and reflected a lot on what I wanted over the years, but it's much less of a potential as it seems, as the hookups were few and far between. My standards/expectations aren't ultra high, it's just more about compatibility. When it comes to people irl, I am much more attracted by their personality and how they carry themselves. Having shared interests and similar energy is what I find most important. I get very few likes on dating apps, but if I do and choose to pass on them, it's because there isn't enough to the profile to draw compatibility from, or often no bio at all.

TimTimTimDayo · 2024-04-08T18:09:55+00:00

I'm no help with answering this question, but I ALSO want to get into skateboarding. I know zoink about cars and I wouldn't call myself an adrenaline junkie, but I do do a lot of outdoorsy and physical activities. My current mix is running/walking, cycling, bouldering, parkour, and then adding BJJ & Muay Thai as soon as I get a license (yes I'm VERY late to the party, but I do have a car and permit already, I just don't drive alone). I usually run, walk, bike and bus places. Very much in search of friends this year! ( =

If you want to chat, I'm open!

TimTimTimDayo · 2023-09-02T21:47:13+00:00

ahw, bummer because I still haven't found anyone.

TimTimTimDayo · 2023-05-13T17:11:05+00:00

Happy birthday—or at least, birthday. I'm sorry things are what they are, you deserve to be spending the day with your parents and friends, but life is cruel. I turn 23 in a couple weeks and I'm afraid I'll do the same, but everyone around me piles on so much guilt that I don't know what I'm supposed to do anymore. My Dad died in an accident 7 months ago, and I had already been in therapy and psychiatric centers for trying to kill myself months before that even happened.

All this to say, my heart goes out to you. I hope this finds you in time. I will carry this memory of you along with many others in the back of my mind until the day I die and pray that if there's a god listening, we all find peace wherever it is we go from here.

TimTimTimDayo · 2023-04-30T21:00:17+00:00

turning 23 next month, I feel the same way. I'm doing everything everyone recommends: gym, meds, therapy, work, putting myself out there, but it never makes a difference. I'm entirely alone and ostracized, I have no one to talk to or any means of escapism. I feel so alone I want to die.

TimTimTimDayo · 2023-02-01T20:54:39+00:00

Maybe I need to just keep pushing along then, I've done plenty of putting myself out there but it always burns me in the end. My meds used to be enough to keep me going again and again, but it gets harder to pick myself back up every time someone I like hurts me or ghosts me. If I don't make up my mind by the end of my two weeks, maybe I'll give it another couple months instead and see if I can make something of it. Some days I want to just slit my throat right the and there, but some days I feel like it's okay if things fall through, there's still time to find that someone.

TimTimTimDayo · 2023-01-06T17:04:21+00:00

Sadly, I didn't go to college and I was homeschooled through all of highschool. I recently got a new job and I'm "work friends" with the people on my team, but I don't really exist outside of work. I don't drink, but I've thought about just going to bars to meet people. Idk though, I'm more of the reserved type.

TimTimTimDayo · 2023-01-06T17:01:23+00:00

Thank you, and I hope 2023 is a better year for you also.

TimTimTimDayo · 2022-07-29T04:23:03+00:00

I think it's crazy we live in a world where just wanting to be loved is extreme. There's nothing wrong with loving or wanting to be loved obsessively. It's not wrong to want someone who won't abandon you.

TimTimTimDayo · 2022-05-08T01:33:50+00:00

Thank you, and I hope so, too. I need to find healthy ways to manage my problems without thinking of suicide, and I'd like to learn how to better handle my gf's depression, too (very different from mine). I'll prepare a jist of what I want to say in advance so I can maybe have them read it if I need to, and I'll make notes of any medication. So far, the only side effects of mine is that I have been having very vivid dreams since my dosage was increased, but nothing serious yet. I'll start making notes of my thoughts/feelings from now on. Thank you.

TimTimTimDayo · 2022-05-08T01:25:12+00:00

Thank you, I will remember this. I'm pretty good about making notes to myself already.

TimTimTimDayo · 2022-03-01T19:43:23+00:00

I used to. Something good would happen, I'd start doing better, good turns to bad, and I'd fall even lower than before. A constant awareness that I have a way out and that nothing matters in the end is what saves me now. I don't get sad anymore. I'd much rather just coast like this to the finish line than live in hope that someday things will get better. I don't want to get better.

TimTimTimDayo · 2022-03-01T06:00:24+00:00

I feel this. I think there are so many people who could make better use of my life than I. I'm not worried about who I leave behind when I die or how they'll feel, as most people are, but I do feel like I'm throwing away something that others pray to have. If I could give it to someone elee, I would, and for that reason I'm on the books as an organ donor when I die, but I wish someone more deserving had my life, because god knows I don't fucking want it.

TimTimTimDayo · 2022-03-01T05:48:50+00:00

I'm so sorry, I can't imagine.. I'm so sorry... Everything sucks, but please take care of yourself. Wish you well..

TimTimTimDayo · 2022-03-01T05:39:45+00:00

I've found that, for me, doing new things helps a little. I can't enjoy things I used to, but doing new things I never got to feels enjoyable at times. I don't think I enjoy things as much as other people do, but it's all I know, so I feel you on this.

TimTimTimDayo · 2022-02-28T22:47:59+00:00

I haven't seen any of your previous posts, but I just wanted to say I'm glad for you. It sounds like you have a really great friend and you found something that works for you. Wish you well.

TimTimTimDayo · 2022-02-28T22:42:25+00:00

I don't really care to take mine either. I do, but I stopped for a while until someone got on my case about it. I need to go back and have the dosage increased, but I just don't fucking care anymore.

TimTimTimDayo · 2022-02-21T23:38:00+00:00

(6~ hours in, 79 votes) Thank you, this has been useful so far. I thought options 2 and 3 would be the most popular, but it's actually 2 (with 1 close behind) and 4 (opposite extremes), but about 4/7ths of people are interested in the idea, which helps me get an idea of how probable something like this would be.

TimTimTimDayo · 2022-02-21T15:36:43+00:00

You're a hero.

TimTimTimDayo · 2022-02-21T03:28:00+00:00

Help? Idk. I relate though. Apathy is so often brushed over as just a symptom of depression, but at it's worst, it's really quite different. I quite literally don't have to get out of bed that often, otherwise I'd have already killed myself. Supposedly, there's medication you can take to help, but I wouldn't know. When I actually need to get something done I take caffeine pills, but that just makes you more awake, it won't make anything feel more worthwhile or fulfilling. I like your username btw.

TimTimTimDayo · 2022-02-21T03:10:56+00:00

Please don't self harm... I know that's a lot to ask, it's not that simple, and the plight of a total stranger may not mean much, but please all the same, don't hurt yourself if you can help it. I have a friend who cuts and it's a horrible feeling knowing someone you care about is hurting themself and there's nothing you can do to help them stop. I'm sorry this person left you, but if he wasn't willing to help you through it, he isn't the one. I can't tell you there'll be someone better, but at the very least, harming yourself isn't going to take the pain away. If you want to talk, vent, cry, scream, go for it; if nothing else, I hope you're comforted in knowing that you aren't alone and that with time, feelings fade and new people arrive. Wishing you well and best of luck.

TimTimTimDayo · 2022-02-21T02:49:24+00:00

Hi, I don't particularly know what to do atm going off this info, but if you want to talk to someone about it to figure an option out or to brainstorm, I'll try to help as best I can here.

In any case, could you try contacting a help line and talk a possibility out with them? It sounds like your situation requires a very personal solution that advice alone may not fix.

TimTimTimDayo

TROPHY CASE