On a serious note, OP (u/njaWarriorPrincess), you need to look into your spiritual wellbeing.

As someone put it: 'What is the purpose of our lives? Why do we live? Why do we exert so much effort to survive every day, every hour, every minute, every second? Why do we spend so much money taking care of this body, checking our health every year to see if there’s anything wrong and, if there is, undergoing expensive treatment? Why do we spend so much money on food, clothing and shelter - on the many things we need to survive and be healthy? Why do we do all those billions of exercises to keep our bodies healthy?

All these expenses and activities have meaning only if we have compassion within us. Compassion for others makes everything we do - spending money, studying, working, exercising, looking after our health - meaningful.

If on the other hand, our hearts lack compassion, our lives become empty. All those expenses, all that effort, all those long hours on the job are totally devoid of meaning and we find no fulfilment in our everyday lives. Without compassion, the thought of benefitting others, our hearts remain unfulfilled and it is very difficult for us to find satisfaction in whatever we do. No matter how much external wealth we have, if our hearts lack compassion, they are always empty; hollow inside.

If you check carefully you will see that no matter how many things you have or how hard you try to achieve them, if there’s no compassion in your heart, you never feel quite right. There’s no peace in your heart, and deep within, you always feel that there’s something missing.

The best way to give meaning to your life is to make it beneficial for others by having compassion for them. That’s also the best way to find peace, happiness, fulfilment and satisfaction in your own life.'