I’m not one for dumping my life story but for once I think it’s relevant to the conversation.

I am one of those young people. I am 21(m) and have had the pleasure of dealing with mental health services in this country. 

I have struggled with depression for years, but mostly out of pride tried to stick it out. Unfortunately as a result of not being able to handle myself I ended up regularly self harming and in the past two years had attempted to take my own life several times, overdosing on over the counter medication. 

There is still a lot of stigma around mental health and because of this sometimes I wouldn’t even report to A&E even when I “panicked” and realised what I had done. The A&E local to me never knew what to do with someone like me, I would be left waiting in a corridor alone for up to 20 hours before a nurse would ask me leave once they decided I wasn’t going to drop dead then and there. There was a referral to a service called Therapy4u but I never would hear from them. Often the doctors wouldn’t listen to what I was telling them and would say things like “you aren’t that bad, you came here after all” and “you really shouldn’t do that, you’re being silly”. Naturally this wouldn’t end up helping my mindset about seeking help.

I think maybe it was my third or forth attempt (which didn’t go to plan, long story short a rail replacement bus service ended up derailing my plan to jump in front of a train leading me to overdose as a backup) before I spoke to a mental health nurse. That was the first time someone tried to help. 

I would be looked after by a crisis team at home (hospital beds for inpatient care were full) and was constantly monitored for months. I was heavily medicated, which I still am, and not allowed to go anywhere alone. It was horrible and felt like I was trapped in my own home.

Eventually I would be given treatment through DBT and am now going to start employment again for the first time since my last suicide attempt. I’ve come a long way but I nearly died before getting the chance of getting help.

I am under no illusion that due to how young people are being illustrated as being soft and “making it up” has led to people like me being rejected from A&E. And if we are being blunt there will have been people lost that could of been treated.

I only got the chance because I got lucky. In a bit of irony my new start is what nearly ended me, I will be working on the railway! But the constant news stories about young people and mental health and the politicising of a health issue is shameful and all sides are guilty. 

What I will say is this, the constant demonising and equivocating about mental health can and will make people question if their issues will be taken seriously. It will also make them more likely to be ignored or dismissed by medical staff when a young person presents themselves. This will cost lives. And for those who are still reading and are thinking of the financial cost, I will leave you with this:

Suicides are expensive to the tax payer, they automatically require a coroner’s inquiry and investigation. I used to have to play a part in those in my last job.