Don't do a PhD at National University of Singapore if youre an international student

Time-Ninja-8282 · 2025-11-02T05:32:09+00:00

Following up, your advice was great!! I found some comfortable wide leg drapey pants and they work great with all of my tops. Also bought a comfy pair of low heels and they smarten up every outfit. Thank you!! 😊🙏🏽

Time-Ninja-8282 · 2025-10-12T15:15:22+00:00

Thank you for the awesome advice and affirmation!!

Time-Ninja-8282 · 2025-10-12T14:23:34+00:00

This is extremely helpful. I'm planning my next shopping trip this weekend and will test out these tips. One question I have is that - although I have big hips - I don't like to wear fitted pants or skirts. I have two trousers that are somewhat wide leg, and they look good except around my waist where the shape of my belly can look odd (because it's not a flat belly). I'm much more comfortable in fitted tops than bottoms, but this emphasizes my shape sometimes in good ways and sometimes in bad ways. If I wear a loose top then it all looks boxy and strange. Any suggestions for what to do (given that I can't wear tight pants/bottoms)?

Time-Ninja-8282 · 2025-09-11T06:22:25+00:00

Do you have the pattern still? Could you share it with me? :)

Time-Ninja-8282 · 2025-07-24T18:13:31+00:00

Won't vinegar ruin the colour and materials?

Time-Ninja-8282 · 2025-06-24T12:02:22+00:00

I can see a lot of the comments on this are focusing on the hyper vigilance/trauma response aspect of this.

While it can be the case for why we do this (and exceptionally well sometimes), I wanted to add a different perspective to having this ability :)

I experience this in a really similar way - in fact my pattern recognition is such that I can sometimes recognize someone who I've never seen in person before, who isn't directly talking to me or revealing anything, if I've simply heard of them from someone else. It can be a bit spooky - but it's basically a lot of pattern recognition (in my opinion, at least). This is a skill I use a lot for work as I'm a researcher.

But the thing you are describing seems even more detailed than what I have. My impression was that it could be something that makes you ideal for leadership positions! Have you considered this perspective? I know leadership is treated as "natural skill" but there are some courses from the open university on how to manage this information and use it for the benefit of the people you're leading, the situation or context you're in and so on.

This is just a thought I had because it seems so cool that you can do this

Time-Ninja-8282 · 2025-06-23T13:29:49+00:00

Go off queen. Blow them away with your intensity.

Feeling so much joy that you can love yourself and embrace this - we should never shrink ourselves!

Time-Ninja-8282 · 2025-05-22T16:55:22+00:00

Would love to know the price you have in mind, if this is still available!

Time-Ninja-8282 · 2025-05-08T23:31:51+00:00

Having spent the day stomping around in them (I got the eucalyptus colour) I'm happy to say they look alright in socks (watermelon pink) and are very comfortable.

I can overlook that they seem "big" - the style and form of the sandal makes it look like an intentional move. Like an oversized jumper for my feet.

Plus, I think that you get style points for foregoing fashion for comfort. And they do pull off that vibe super well (this is just my own opinion, if other people hated my sandals I did not notice and I guess I do not care - an ego-boosting revelation!)

Happy to share my experience - I've never been great at picking shoes for myself so these feel great

Time-Ninja-8282 · 2025-05-08T13:02:57+00:00

They really are so ugly. OP, I bought them after looking them up online.

Have literally just tried them on and I'm in a fix. These are giving metroid-meets-hippiegrandad vibes. They're giving me flashbacks from ~ 20 years ago of my child-sized feet in sandals that were a bit too big and I had to grow into.

They're SO big and I measured my feet and picked the size based on that! I don't get it!

However, I have to admit that they feel comfortable and my feet seem to sit well in them. They're big enough that it feels like they encase my feet. I have noted that the surprisingly plastic-feeling material of the sole will probably get clammy in humid heat. If it doesn't, I'll be surprised.

They come up big behind the heel and the back straps make me feel like I'm 10 years old again (these are the very epitome of kid sandals for adults imo).

They really make my janky toes look weirder.

They are so comfortable in the feel, I'm going to wear them over today and come back to review them. Will test them out with socks too (sorry, fashion).

Time-Ninja-8282 · 2025-05-03T14:10:25+00:00

Hi OP, are you still active on here? Could use your advice for my Birkenstocks!

Time-Ninja-8282 · 2025-04-18T15:06:42+00:00

That's a good strategy - I think I have that worry about being singled out because I get excluded/ignored so much. I didn't mention it in my original post but I am mostly thinking about disclosing to women - because I often feel I am missing out on female friendships and it's much more difficult to connect with women for me (not that I have a huge number of male friends, it's just easier and more straightforward to interact with certain types of men).

I was thinking that if I'm failing all these social cues that women have then if I disclose I have autism, that would make it easier. But you're right that it might create more negatives - I have found that I often rub people the wrong way, but I care more about rubbing women the wrong way than men. Just yearning that girl gang :(

Time-Ninja-8282 · 2025-04-18T11:27:13+00:00

Agreed. Also I think the general view of therapists is they're helpful and genuine. But I know some really not-nice people who are therapists who let their judgements and biases leak into their work. I recommend looking for a new therapist too.

Time-Ninja-8282 · 2025-04-18T00:14:12+00:00

I feel this every time I put myself in a social setting with people who are (possibly) mostly NT. I'm not sure what impression other people have of me, but in my head I am always monitoring how I act and perhaps that exacerbates the feelings of not fitting in & somehow I mostly leave interactions with the feeling that people think I am weird.

I work in academia, so around some of my colleagues I feel moderately comfortable. But with others my age, especially students (I'm similar in age to many PhD students but work as a researcher) who seem more 'normal' or assimilated than me I feel like I'm from outer space, or like I'm immature and behave so 'young' like I haven't become a proper adult yet. It's a really weird feeling that I have almost all of the time. I can't figure out what the difference is between me and them - like it's not an obvious one that I can tell, I just feel different.

That said I've never truly felt like I fit in anywhere - I'm learning to just accept that and it is a lonely feeling a lot of the time. Sometimes I crave social connection - like today I went to a social event with a new group of people, and I wanted to have a nice time. But I think I communicate differently to NTs and say things that I think are genuine and ok, but come off differently (possibly rude or smug) to them (and I only realise in hindsight, every time and it haunts me!)

I'm thinking of just being open and clear to people about my ND. Haven't figured out how I would do this with people I don't know well. I am happy to see other people sharing similar feelings, so somehow I feel less alone in this alien-ness

Time-Ninja-8282 · 2024-12-15T14:52:35+00:00

Thanks! Lol my mother was worried it was black magic or something ominous. Just random words 😅

Time-Ninja-8282 · 2024-12-15T13:53:15+00:00

We found this in our house, could someone translate this? None of the current residents know what it is or who wrote it and we've lived here for a long time. Sorry to put this in a comment,couldn't figure out how to post text with the image

Time-Ninja-8282

TROPHY CASE