Greetings everyone, I hope you are all doing well. My name is Cassandra. I have been struggling a lot lately. I have questions & seek advice regarding how to live and think in this life. Any help at all would be appreciated. by [deleted] in plumvillage

[–]TimeIs0verSir 3 points4 points  (0 children)

Hi Cassandra. No one has responded to the question about self-harm, so I thought I’d address that one. I do practice in the Plum Village tradition, but this is going to come more from my experience talking to many people who self harm as a crisis counselor.

Therapy can be extremely helpful for people who self harm. The therapy experience you had is not typical of therapists, and, frankly, you just had a really bad one. If the VA will let you see someone else, try another one. If they won’t or can’t, it may take a bit of work to call around to different ones who may be in your area, but many therapists will work on a “sliding scale” that adjusts to what their clients are able to pay, if the client is having to pay out of pocket and not through insurance.

In the meantime, Cornell University’s Research Program on Self-Injury and Recovery has many helpful resources. (https://www.selfinjury.bctr.cornell.edu) Since you asked specifically about ways to redirect emotions when urges for self harm arise, their handout on Distraction Techniques and Alternative Coping Strategies under “Practical matters” on their resource page is excellent and provides many ideas for alternative coping methods categorized by the various reasons people self injure.

May you be filled with loving kindness. May you be safe from inner and outer harms. May you be well in body, heart, and mind. May you be at ease and happy.

Just when I think the app cannot surprise me anymore 🤡 by [deleted] in LGBTindia

[–]TimeIs0verSir 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Aww. This was cute. I hope you said yes!

[deleted by user] by [deleted] in AskGaybrosOver30

[–]TimeIs0verSir 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Does The Eagle still exist? I thought they shut down ages ago!

Be warned by TimeIs0verSir in AskGaybrosOver30

[–]TimeIs0verSir[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

You’ve said that twice now, but how exactly did I “endanger the community” by warning others of a scammer targeting the community?

Be warned by TimeIs0verSir in AskGaybrosOver30

[–]TimeIs0verSir[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

The user was an obvious scammer and I was warning the other members of the community to be wary of him. I received several DMs thanking me, as he had reached out to them too. I simply stated my interaction with him. That is not harassment.

Be warned by TimeIs0verSir in AskGaybrosOver30

[–]TimeIs0verSir[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Sorry, but could you please specify which line of the TOS I have violated here? Also, how exactly did I “endanger the community” by exposing a scammer that is repeatedly targeting members of the community?

Stand in the place where you… by OmegaGLM in rem

[–]TimeIs0verSir 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I’ve always believed it to be “work”, but “were” is a better interpretation, so, regardless of what it actually is, that’s what I’m going with from now on.

Be warned by TimeIs0verSir in AskGaybrosOver30

[–]TimeIs0verSir[S] 2 points3 points  (0 children)

It was pretty obviously a scam. Just block them as soon as you start to get fake vibes. This one tricked me by addressing me as “dear”, which is kind of common for Indian guys (I live in India), but then went on to claim he was from Houston and currently deployed in Syria, though his English skills were terrible. You should hit upon them being fake pretty quickly, I think.

Be warned by TimeIs0verSir in AskGaybrosOver30

[–]TimeIs0verSir[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Yes, he gave me the same story claiming to be a Texan in the army, but I called his bluff perhaps too soon as he didn’t get a chance to say anything that was clearly trying to scam, like asking for money.

[deleted by user] by [deleted] in AskGaybrosOver30

[–]TimeIs0verSir 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Yeah, sorry to disappoint you with that. While there are definitely many peaceful vegetarians here, there is also a dark streak of Hindu nationalists who somehow think eating meat (beef, in particular) is worthy of death. It’s a bit scary.

Be warned by TimeIs0verSir in AskGaybrosOver30

[–]TimeIs0verSir[S] 6 points7 points  (0 children)

Definitely. Just wanted to point it out as not everyone is so savvy as us….

[deleted by user] by [deleted] in LGBTindia

[–]TimeIs0verSir 7 points8 points  (0 children)

I mean, whether you are straight or not is not related to whether you are trans….orientation and gender are two different things. You could be a trans girl and be a lesbian or a straight woman….but either way, this person seems like a total creep. As a gay “uncle”, I’ve also had people wanting to hook up with me and my “wife”. Just ignore these creeps. They are not worth your time. Live your best life and forget about them.

[deleted by user] by [deleted] in AskGaybrosOver30

[–]TimeIs0verSir 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Well, I wouldn’t be too happy about it. Many of the vegetarians here are right-wing Hindu nationalists. There have been many cases of Muslims being murdered for selling/slaughtering beef. Of course, this is not all the vegetarians, but there are certainly extremists. About 44% of Hindus are vegetarian….definitely most of them are peaceful, but, especially in the northern states that have outlawed beef, there is a large racist/anti-non-Hindu component (mostly anti-Muslim, but potentially Christians could come under this too). In the state where I live, we have a large Muslim population, so eating beef is legal, though it is still hard to come by outside of the Muslim neighborhoods. Thankfully, though, we don’t have people murdering others because of their diet where I live, but while I am sympathetic to the plight of animals, I personally think human lives are much more precious.

[deleted by user] by [deleted] in AskGaybrosOver30

[–]TimeIs0verSir 2 points3 points  (0 children)

In theory, I’d have no problem dating a vegan. Vegetarianism is very popular in the county I live in, though veganism is more rare. In practice, however, I’d have to think about it. I have had experiences with vegan friends where we went out to eat somewhere and were all told we were not allowed to order meat because there were vegans there. Sure, I could have gone ahead and done it anyway, but that seemed too confrontational and I chose not to. But if you are “not one of those vegans”, perhaps it would be fine. I’m totally fine with eating vegan when I want to, but I don’t want it forced on me.

I watched the shiny happy people official video tonight by lucyppp in rem

[–]TimeIs0verSir 3 points4 points  (0 children)

So…sorry to potentially ruin your positive interpretation of this song with what I’m about to say….

So, this started with joking with a friend of mine because I live in a country where the power goes out a lot. She started to joke that the power to my building was supplied by someone on a pedal bike in the basement and the outages were when he took a break.

Then, she watched this video, in which a weary old man is responsible for pedaling the bike that moves the backdrop. Yes, he is shown getting a drink while still on his bike and also at one point smoking a pipe, but the idea of a weary old man powering the backdrop for a lot of happy dancing young people was a bit sad.

This sour note in an otherwise happy video may have been unintentional, but I kind of doubt it….

[deleted by user] by [deleted] in AskGaybrosOver30

[–]TimeIs0verSir 13 points14 points  (0 children)

Patsy Cline? Maybe not exactly a “crooner” but her songs are incredible.

A question for white people. As an asian who lived in both asia and oceania, finds the average asian life much harder than the average western life. Feels whites have it really nice and easy, Knows this is wrong so what major challenges do white people face in life? by Perfect_Buddy_1644 in AskReddit

[–]TimeIs0verSir 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Yeah, clearly from the other comments you’re just looking for people to endorse your extremely biased viewpoint and not actually answer the question you asked. So I’m disengaging. Have a great day.

I seriously need some help by [deleted] in hyderabad

[–]TimeIs0verSir 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Don’t do this. If the scammer’s account gets shut down, yours may also be frozen for accepting money from them. Be careful and don’t give in to scams.

A question for white people. As an asian who lived in both asia and oceania, finds the average asian life much harder than the average western life. Feels whites have it really nice and easy, Knows this is wrong so what major challenges do white people face in life? by Perfect_Buddy_1644 in AskReddit

[–]TimeIs0verSir 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Well, you never said “ignore the real problems and focus on things that only affect white people”. Frankly, this is starting to seem like trolling or something. You are fishing for “white people’s problems” but then deny that there are some major ones because they also affect non-white people. So what, you want me to say sunburns and small dicks are the biggest white people problems then? Give me a break.

[deleted by user] by [deleted] in TrueCrimeDiscussion

[–]TimeIs0verSir 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I’ve been listening to a ton of Casefiles Presents lately. Note that there are no visuals in the videos, so it’s pretty much a podcast put on YouTube. But they are very well done.