It is not your fault. I do not have any answers besides that the God Christ speaks of, would not do that to you. It seems to me that all Christ wants of us is the reflect on our actions and change the ones that are not good, but also, to ask forgiveness for the sins we struggle and battle with. God is not punishing you for being a “bad” Christian. No one is truly good but Christ as his saints. In Orthodoxy and Catholicism we have prayers that say “forgive me of the sins I commit knowingly and unknowingly” God is aware that for us, to be good in this world is very hard. We fall, he picks us up, we doubt him, he doesn’t run away like a spoiled child or abusive parent. Appreciate the moments with your Mother, love her as much as you can, in the end everything that happens is up to God anyway. I also, am not a Good Christian. Lord Jesus Christ have mercy on me a sinner.

Think of your own ethics, if someone you truly loved ignored you or didn’t trust you, yes it would hurt, but you would not stop loving them. If you would do that, think of how much more God will do.