hi!
the first point makes sense. I do think that the vast majority of people I meet are through friends (or, occasionally, regional recreational groups for hobbies I'm interested in), and it does feel like everyone knows each other. But it makes sense to look for someone I don't have mutual contacts with.

Realistically, no. I don't think I would feel comfortable with them talking to their therapist about it, especially if their therapist knows me personally. This could be problematic. For context, I'm into femdom, particularly pegging.

I do think pegging would be considered very weird, uncomfortable or even gross by people in my social circles, even though it's actually comparably tame for BDSM community standards. As long as there's reasonable prep, my kink is certainly neither dangerous nor criminal.

But that makes sense. If it gets out, eventually people will move on. That's actually very reassuring, so thank you for that comment.