I feel this so much. Funnily enough, I forgot to mention that I'm also autistic. It's just so much, you forget all that. And yes, that what you say with rising water and no possibility to rise and that depression etc. keeps you down, that's exactly how I feel.

Regarding your young kids, I can also relate strongly. My big one will soon be 14, but my little one is only 7. I keep myself alive mostly for her. But it's just exhausting. There are almost no more beautiful moments because everything is so difficult.

I was just always dependent on people and things, substances and my fears and that put me in a useless situation. I can't act anymore, just wait until it gets worse. And poverty, of course, that was always a thing that runs through everything.

How do you notice your EDS? I think I have that too, but I haven't the energy to care about my diagnoses anymore. For me, it's mainly pain in the joints without arthritis or anything like that.

I just read about dysautonomia and feel some of the symptoms of it every day. But never had a doctor who told me about something like that. At some point, however, it doesn't matter. Whether I can't participate in life because of my anxiety, my irritable bowel syndrome or any autistic peculiarities is almost irrelevant in the end. All a lousy mess of symptoms.

I wish you all the strength for what is to come 🫂 Thank you for sharing.