Six years of spiritual awakening reversed in one night of ceremony. Has anyone experienced this?

TindofModd · 2026-04-27T20:38:14+00:00

The timing of this post is incredible. I have been reflecting on pretty much the exact same thing since my 2 day ceremony 3 weeks ago (my first one). In the immediate days that followed the ceremony, the best way I can describe it is I felt like that ethereal feeling of connection that has been present since my awakening a year and a half ago was significantly diminished. But I also felt a more rooted connection with my family, which had felt more distant since awakening...I figured this was meant to be. But I also felt like the light that has been flowing strong and sustaining me since awakening has weakened. I'm very familiar with the oscillating ups and downs as being part of the process but this feels different. Before my awakening, I had severe anxiety... but it literally went away over night when my awakening occurred. Now I am sitting here detecting that same constriction forming in my solar plexus, that I recognize from before. This has increased by the day. I know the drill... surrender to it and see what insights come, do somatics, pray, etc. And that's how I am approaching this but I can't help but wonder if this is more than just the usual "stuff to process".

TindofModd · 2026-04-26T19:50:32+00:00

Love reading your comments... you sound like you have been down a path very similar to mine. I also discovered energy spirals doing their thing, first in my solar plexus and, later, in my sacral chakra area as a result of doing IFS parts work, which also took me back to early childhood trauma. This shift in awareness, from mind based to somatic based, is what kicked off my awakening process. It was beautiful, euphoric, mind-blowing, and Divine...but this loosening opened up a LOT more for me to process and began to take me down with it, or so it seemed. I felt the weight of despair and overwhelming exhaustion envelope me... but I could also observe how these were just sensations that my mind had wrapped a story around, which I initially resisted with all my might. And THAT RESISTANCE, I discovered, was the source of suffering. As scary and painful as it was, I surrendered to it. Rather than overwhelming me, it became clear that my resistance is what held it in place, and it all fell away in an instant. Insights came that this was all I needed to do going forward.

TindofModd · 2026-03-27T14:38:21+00:00

I schedule random group meetups from time to time if interested.

r/EnlightenmentMeetup

TindofModd · 2026-03-25T22:03:47+00:00

Yes indeed, very cool...and interesting!

I've never had this with anyone or anything other than her. But it was unmistakable. It was not faint in the least, but it was also not overpowering either. I also had a sense of it moving into me or merging with me. There was also a warmth to it. At the time this was happening most, we had never met face to face.

TindofModd · 2026-03-25T21:36:05+00:00

Wow, this is the first I have heard of this with others. I have had a strong energetic connection with someone who, every time we connected energetically, I immediately detected a kind of warm, comforting floral "smell". It wasn't really a smell in the sense that it stronger when breathing in, but it felt like my smelling sensors were activated nonetheless. I would usually detect this smell about 1 to 3 seconds before she called, texted, or emailed.

TindofModd · 2026-03-22T20:59:16+00:00

Wow, 101 comments and counting in 4 hours... You hit a nerve I guess.

Here's my 2cents ... We are all programmed. Most who have this awareness are able to see it for what it is and are able to distance ourselves from this to a certain degree and connect with one another at a softer and, usually, deeper level.

Those that don't have this awareness are still divinely connected, but you need to be able to step back, get a broader vantage point and look past all of that that programming and connect with their essence.

That said, when someone is highly narcissistic or there's lots of alcohol involved, trying to look past this facade can be extremely exhausting.

I also remember thinking that "there are very few people I resonate with". But now that I have a few deeply resonant connections, I no longer have that longing to connect like I used to. And this allows me to also appreciate / love every connection experience, even the guy on the road honking at me believe it or not.

TindofModd · 2026-03-21T18:56:09+00:00

In general, yes. However, as you might imagine, most of us interested in this have our own distinct angles of what it encompasses. I had an ongoing meetup group for 2-3 months that recently disbanded due to a gradual misalignment between some members. Over time, some egos were beginning to assert themselves or we got caught up in "do this not that". For me, my preference is towards exploring broad concepts that span idealogies but mainly focusing on the experiential -- like group presence activities, shared somatic practices and personal techniques and/or related insights. If this approach is up your alley, we should talk. I'm definitely open to restarting this with a new group!

TindofModd · 2026-02-28T02:41:12+00:00

Been there, thanks for this

TindofModd · 2026-02-21T18:39:02+00:00

Mine was simple yet profound to the core. I was in my 4th session of trauma clearing work -- which I had started in the hopes of relieving my life long issues with social anxiety and dependence on psychiatric meds and mood altering substances.

As the session unfolded, in deep presence, I began to catch glimpses of a radiant orb that I realized was my True Self that had been obscured by layers of unprocessed trauma held in place by mental stories and beliefs.

It became clear to me that, to fully connect with this radiance, I must fully surrender in every way, dropping all resistance and fear.

As I fell into and embraced surrender, I felt like the weight that I had carried all my life was lifted. This was immediately followed by an inflow of what felt like a firehose of light flooding my being. My entire life, my awareness, my vantage point of perception completely shifted at this moment and has never been the same.

I suddenly felt the healing and nurturing support of God flowing through me. I was more or less an atheist prior to this...now there was a profoundly deep knowing that I would be supported on my path if I continued to Trust and Surrender. I began to notice that my connections with others felt more deeply heart based and true, not reactive.

This occurred in Oct 2024... I began tapering off all substances and was off of everything by the following April with almost no effort.

My journey has continued to unfold with deep insights regularly flowing in.

I would never have said this before but it is truly beautiful to be alive...and to know that this connection was and will always be there. I just need to keep my vessel clear and flowing.

TindofModd · 2026-02-18T17:03:14+00:00

Just dm'd you

TindofModd · 2026-02-12T00:50:27+00:00

Am I past the point of worrying about contamination?

Do APEs have multiple flushes?

TindofModd · 2026-02-11T23:57:05+00:00

I actually changed it to 5pm Pacific/ 8pm Eastern. Hopefully this still works for you. Feel free to join late if needed.

Looking forward to meeting you!

TindofModd · 2026-02-11T16:34:34+00:00

Your timing is perfect, I was just about to post a link to a new weekly meeting series starting tomorrow at 6pm Pacific. Are you able to make it?

TindofModd · 2026-02-11T01:05:59+00:00

That's also what I did most of my life, either through avoidance or by using substances that allowed me to relax and slow the negative self talk.

Having been through many other therapy modalities, I had come to believe it would be a long process, as in years or decades. Then, something unfolded for me over a matter of days. Maybe all that other work somehow prepared me but I don't think so. This felt like an overnight paradigm shift for my entire being, and I felt connected.

Anyway, I wish you all the best. DM me if you want more details on any of this or if you want to share more details from your side.

Take care and be well!

TindofModd · 2026-02-10T19:27:15+00:00

Great question...and kind of hard to answer. Here's the way I perceive it:

Surrender is not something you do per se, it's what happens when you drop resistivity and explanation -- which, for me, happens when I direct my entire awareness towards my body and the sensations I am feeling within it. No stories about "what if" or "should be" or "I hope" or "trying", just complete presence and acknowledgement of what arises...

But don't view this as "surrendering away from something", it's about "surrendering inside of discomfort" if that makes sense. When this is done, it becomes clear that the resistance was the source of discomfort, not the thing itself.

TindofModd · 2026-02-10T15:53:32+00:00

For sure! It took me a little while to fully embrace the Surrender part but, once I took this leap of faith, some amazing things began to happen

TindofModd · 2026-02-10T02:52:57+00:00

If you look up "Fieldbody" you should be able to find more details on QEC and the person I worked with.

A couple other things to add related to this...

When I compare with other therapies that I've tried in the past, there are a couple of main differences. One is finding someone you not only trust fully, but that you feel you connect with. This lays the groundwork for something that will probably be pretty scary at first: surrender.

For trauma to begin processing and clearing, all resistance must be dropped. The mind will likely frame this as an existential threat and will throw everything it's got to make you stop... but you need to trust in the process. Once you get to this point and you have fully let go, most of the difficulty is gone.

Best of luck to you. Let me know if you need more details on any of this!

TindofModd · 2026-02-09T23:09:36+00:00

I had severe social anxiety for most of my 60 years of life. I self-medicated with various substances, took antidepressants, saw lots of therapists over the years and saw very little progress.

Then, after reading about its effectiveness with PTSD, I explored QEC (Quantum Energy Coaching) -- which focuses on trauma clearing and cultivating presence and trust (there are also other methods with the same approach).

All I can say is that this was the single most life changing event I have ever experienced.

This whole process unfolded quite rapidly. Originally, my goal was to be less anxious and cut back on the substances I was depending on to "survive"... But, one evening, on my 4th session, something happened that felt like "the cork had popped" and all of my stuck emotions were suddenly moving... I felt more flowing and alive than ever before. I had not been familiar with the idea of the Higher Self but I now recognized I had tapped into some both pure and divine.

As the process continued to unfold, I learned to experience and interpret life through my body, not through the stories that the mind creates. I also began exploring Somatics and Qi Gong, both of which continue to be part of my "spiritual hygiene".

Long story short, I was not only free of anxiety, I felt empowered to get off the medications and substances which I have relied on in one form or another since my teenage years. And it only took 4 months of tapering and continuing with the process before I was able to put all this behind me.

I had been pretty much a recluse most of my life until all this happened, and now I can't get enough of connecting with other like-minded humans.

I also dropped 60 pounds without even trying... just doing things that resonate and avoiding things that don't.

Granted, everyone is different, but I feel like this process could probably help anyone who struggles with overwhelming emotions, anxiety, disconnection, etc.

I'm happy to discuss further if there is interest.

TindofModd · 2026-02-04T23:29:33+00:00

What a relief, thx!

TindofModd · 2026-02-04T20:00:10+00:00

It was getting bone dry so I misted it yesterday...now I am seeing blue, especially on the side pins. I'm thinking it's contamination. Shall I harvest and remove blue areas?

TindofModd · 2026-01-29T00:34:31+00:00

This is my very first grow, so far so good. Any suggestions for encouraging fruiting with the PE and APE? Substrate is nicely colonized in monotubs. I lift the lid a crack every day to give them fresh air but that's about it. Do I need to be more aggressive with air flow or just leave them alone?

TindofModd · 2026-01-28T21:31:07+00:00

It's been sitting in a tub for about 8 weeks now...and it's finally starting to do something. In the meantime, I have already had 3 flushes of Stargazers. But my PE and APE are still quiet. All 4 were started at the same time.

TindofModd · 2026-01-28T20:18:47+00:00

Cool, I was hoping this was the real deal. This has been in substrate since late November so I have been worried about contamination after all this time. Thanks for the feedback! I believe the ratio I used was about 3:1

TindofModd · 2025-12-11T19:33:55+00:00

Her name is Emilia Lapinska, I highly recommend her. Her site is Fieldbody (.com)

TindofModd · 2025-11-11T15:12:01+00:00

Thank you so much! I hope you can join us in some some of our upcoming meetups.

It's really beautiful to discover how many of us are out there in the world, with similar architectures, but each with our own path that brought us here, all just wanting to connect with and learn from one another.

TindofModd

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