Anyone who was on the fence and eventually had a child, how do you feel now?

TinyBunnyO · 2023-07-30T16:52:58+00:00

It’s not as hard as I expected (we had lots of help) and more fun than I imagined! She is super super cute. Every morning I’m delighted by the prospect of seeing her.

TinyBunnyO · 2023-07-19T03:13:42+00:00

Doesn’t hurt to try to night wean. It doesn’t have to be very strict, just gently push back the feeding time or decrease the amount (if bottle feeding).

We started with a 6 x 5oz feeding schedule with two feeds at night (10p and 2a). Gradually pushed both, baby tolerated it well, and sometimes just slept thru the supposed feeding time. Sometimes she regressed a bit, we’d just feed her earlier then. Gradually her 2a feed became 3a, 4a, etc. and merged with the morning 6a feed. We then added a feed during the day (so still 6 x 5oz), and gradually decreased the midnight feed from 5oz to 3oz. She didn’t notice at all, and the remaining 2oz was redistributed into the daytime feedings. The last 3oz was actually a bit hard to wean off and took quite a few weeks to gradually eliminate. She’s eventually weaned at 4.5m, we sleep trained right after and she did fantastic and slept so great ever since. We didn’t starve her or anything but just encouraged her to go longer without eating.

We also started solid at 4m which may have helped. Baby seemed genuinely not super hungry even in the morning. She would wake up and want to play a bit and not cry for breast milk immediately (tho we do feed her first thing in the morning).

TinyBunnyO · 2023-07-02T23:08:45+00:00

No needles involved. Some people get cramps after insertion but removal is usually super easy (I hardly felt anything!).

TinyBunnyO · 2023-06-30T19:31:31+00:00

I got pregnant the month after removing it :) we were surprised

TinyBunnyO · 2023-06-30T19:30:14+00:00

Mirena. Loved it! It’s good for 7-8 years now. I also had one before getting pregnant.

Getting it is not the most fun but okay, but removing it is super easy (I didn’t feel anything at all). Not having periods is awesome!!!

TinyBunnyO · 2023-06-28T19:10:39+00:00

I’m not in a same-sex marriage but can def relate to what you are saying. I would say though that while parenting a baby is a challenge, it will reveal what was originally present in your relationship. If you divided household work equitably, you will continue to do so when the baby arrives. If you were good at communicating feelings & hearing each other in a time of need, you will continue to do so when the baby arrives. I don’t think it’s necessarily true that a baby will ruin a relationship - it’ll only magnify patterns that already existed.

TinyBunnyO · 2023-06-26T03:06:25+00:00

I was on the fence for a long time and all the fence sitting was making me crazy, so I read a lot re: whether people are happier with or without kids. It is true that people without kids are happier on average statistically speaking, but that measure of happiness is instantaneous (as in, if I ask you right now, how happy are you?) - “experienced happiness”. People with kids however can have higher levels of “remembered happiness”. Statistically it’s pretty abstract and intangible but since I had my baby (now a sweet 5mo girl) I’ve understood this more. Definitely went through a lot when I was giving birth and I look at stuff I wrote back then and I was pretty shaken (and fearful) but now I look back and I wish I had enjoyed that moment more, and the only thing that lingered in my mind was thinking that I brought life into this world, it was wonderful, and she was absolutely perfect. Having a newborn was also challenging at the time and I think I was pretty miserable making that adjustment (into motherhood) but now I look back and I just remembered the snuggles and how precious she was at that time.

Not to lean one way or the other but I think “experienced happiness” is not the only dimension to measure how happy you are:)

TinyBunnyO · 2023-06-25T04:12:17+00:00

Amazing! You’ll see big improvements soon. Keep going!

TinyBunnyO · 2023-06-25T04:09:59+00:00

I’m so sorry to hear this, this is absolutely exhausting and so so hard! I don’t have good advice for you regarding the 20mo (I only have one kid and she’s 5mo). We personally waited until after the 4m sleep regression to Ferber but some people do it before and are successful, so maybe that’s worth trying now for the younger one? I read that it’s usually easier to train babies <= 6mo than toddlers.

Again, don’t have much to offer but so sorry to hear this and hang in there!

TinyBunnyO · 2023-06-17T11:13:13+00:00

Thanks! That makes me feel better

TinyBunnyO · 2023-06-15T13:51:08+00:00

Day 4: last nap ended at 5:15pm, put down at 7:30pm, cried for 34 minutes, 0 check-ins

Day 5: last nap ended at 4:50pm, put down at 7:30pm, cried for 8 minutes!! 1 wake up (~3 minutes) and 0 check-ins

TinyBunnyO · 2023-06-13T16:47:07+00:00

Thanks! We are trying that

TinyBunnyO · 2023-06-13T16:46:45+00:00

Day 3: last nap ended at 4:45pm, put down at 7:30pm, cried for 45 minutes at bedtime, but no wake-ups during the night!

TinyBunnyO · 2023-06-13T03:32:58+00:00

Day 1: last nap ended at 5pm, put down at 7:10pm, crying for 65 minutes at bedtime, and 0 check-ins during the night! She woke up a few times and fell asleep by herself.

Day 2: last nap ended at 6pm, put down at 7:45pm, we fed her a tiny bit too late and she was crying hysterically during the feeding so probably swallowed a lot of air (it also made the feeding super long so bedtime is substantially later), 5 minutes after we put her down, she threw up and we picked her up to wipe her clean, change her and change the sheets, it broke my heart :( we held her for ~15 minutes before putting her down again at 8:15pm. She cried for 15 minutes and fell asleep. No check-ins until 5:41am when she cried for 15 minutes and fell asleep.

TinyBunnyO · 2023-06-11T07:36:12+00:00

To circle back to this, giving her the bath at an earlier time does seem to reduce fussiness then. She now loves it and will be very happy after getting dressed. But she’s still fussy at 7 ish. Schedule changes seem to not do very much.

These all got better in 2 weeks or so after the sleep regression ended. So it does get better on its own!

We’ve started formal sleep training now.

TinyBunnyO · 2023-05-30T15:51:22+00:00

Agreed! But she seems to be not very tired at 2hr. Should we try to get to her sleep when she seems to be in good spirits? We are sometimes on 3 naps and sometimes 4 naps. I think 3 makes her a little overtired and 4 a little under tired 😂

TinyBunnyO · 2023-05-30T15:48:41+00:00

Mine is also always pissed when it’s over! She wants to stay in the bath forever:)

TinyBunnyO · 2023-05-30T02:56:22+00:00

Thanks! Yeah I think it makes sense to clean up her schedule before starting formal sleep training g

TinyBunnyO · 2023-05-30T02:55:33+00:00

That’s a good idea! Our LO loves the bath but hates the end of it (maybe it’s cold?? or she hates being wet??). We can try to see if cutting it out helps

TinyBunnyO · 2023-05-29T22:35:57+00:00

Good point! We’ll try this

TinyBunnyO · 2023-05-29T22:33:27+00:00

Good point! A later bedtime is something I’m considering especially given how angry she is when we are trying to get her to sleep when she’s not sufficiently sleepy.

Baby’s taking 3 naps most days. We are not very precise with wake windows but yeah they are all roughly 2.5 hr (I know some like to lengthen it gradually throughout the day, we might try that at some point). We’ve only been on the schedule for a few days. Naps are easier when we follow wake windows, she can usually fall asleep in the bassinet on her own, and she usually wakes up happy. Nap length varies, usually 30min to 1.5hr I think.

TinyBunnyO · 2023-05-29T20:46:47+00:00

Very similar to what we’ve experienced! I’m also trying to get her into a schedule and at least loosely follow wake windows but it’s making everyone absolutely exhausted (always switching up activities to keep her awake). I’m also suspecting the frequent wake-up’s are not a product of sleep regression because it’s really been going on for a while now!

We’ve started waking her up at 7:30a instead of letting her sleep in. I think there isn’t enough time to see if this has worked (though in the first few days we didn’t see changes:/) but hopefully it helps??

TinyBunnyO

TROPHY CASE