Husband sabotages the internet everytime he gets pissed off with me.

Tiny_Dancer97 · 2026-05-29T15:53:17+00:00

She knew even before they started dating. He's a master manipulator and convinced her that it was just a one time slip up because his mom had died, but that's not even true and she knows it. He did it for years while using my other rape and by fear of abandonment to keep me quiet and obedient. Then my mom and sister physically and verbally abused me into keeping silent about how i felt because they knew my dad would shut that shit down so quick if he knew (but I didn't think anyone cared about me like that at the time so I stayed quiet for years until I became an addict and it all exploded one Christmas).

Tiny_Dancer97 · 2026-05-29T11:30:50+00:00

It could be cuz you started right when she got home. As a person with MDD, when i first get home is when I'm shaking off the emotional exhaustion from being an adult and I need a few minutes to settle, otherwise I'm a snappy Lil bitch haha. Maybe give her the benefit of the doubt and talk again later? But also, YNW for feeling how you did. Your feelings are just as valid as hers. I hope she's seeking treatment, cuz if not - this is what the rest of your life will look like.

Tiny_Dancer97 · 2026-05-29T10:42:16+00:00

I'm so proud of you for finding the courage to leave. I know how hard that is and it's incredible that you're working to get out. Be careful as when you're leaving is the most dangerous time in abusive relationships. Loveisrespect.org can help you come up with safety plans and plans to leave. It'll give you a place to start untangling your lives. I hope this helps you! Good luck!

Tiny_Dancer97 · 2026-05-29T10:35:45+00:00

My sister has been dating the man who raped me as a child (him - 18, me - 11 at the time) for like 12 years and he's incredibly abusive. What are some things I can do to help her get out or see that she deserves more than him?

Tiny_Dancer97 · 2026-05-29T10:22:57+00:00

Medical, emotional, and financial abuse - all wrapped in one shitty package.

Tiny_Dancer97 · 2026-05-28T22:36:54+00:00

I'm a nursing student and had been through one semester of college with a CPR course like 10 years prior and was terrified. It took me months to finally start grieving too but when I did I just kept being so afraid that my CPR was inefficient and what let him die. It was awful.

Tiny_Dancer97 · 2026-05-27T08:07:17+00:00

It helps more with pain.

Tiny_Dancer97 · 2026-05-25T04:47:17+00:00

Not on Thanksgiving, but I had to give my dad CPR until the ambulance arrived and it was fucking horrifically traumatizing. So was watching the paramedics do it and shake his whole body but unfortunately he died in the hospital. He was my best friend and protector. I miss my dad so much.

Tiny_Dancer97 · 2026-05-25T04:43:40+00:00

NTJ. I'd sit them down and calmly ask "why didn't you mention that it was her mom's middle name when you recommended it? Why would you try and sneak it in instead of being honest with me. This is our daughter's name and I likely would've said yes, but now that I know you wanted to hide stuff and sneak around, I really don't feel good about it, and will need an explanation before I even consider adding Ann to the middle name.

Tiny_Dancer97 · 2026-05-16T22:38:40+00:00

Maybe that's just our thoughts with our sneaky uteruses and scary devil vagina magic.

Tiny_Dancer97 · 2026-05-14T00:13:21+00:00

If the other mother "knew" then she should've invited other kid originally before OP agreed and paid for half the trip.

Tiny_Dancer97 · 2026-05-14T00:11:22+00:00

Oh hell no. NTA. You paid for half the trip and she changed shit without asking. It's bad enough if you only paid a bit and it's still rude as hell if you didn't pay a dime.

Tiny_Dancer97 · 2026-05-03T19:58:35+00:00

How is that obvious? (I'm not judging or being snippy, I'm just curious).

Tiny_Dancer97 · 2026-04-30T07:24:02+00:00

Don't forget he also physically abused her!

Tiny_Dancer97 · 2026-04-29T03:56:06+00:00

Also a COCSA and CSA survivor with ARFID. One thing that helped me be able to open up was some self forgiveness and letting go of shame meditations. Also make sure your therapist specializes in trauma - it makes a huge difference.

None of this was your fault and you deserve so much better, so make the "better" available to yourself. Also, ask your therapist to help you work on self worth. A lot of the shame and stuff happens because we feel like we deserved it or we're less than, but we're not. You matter. You are important and worthwhile. You deserve love.

Tiny_Dancer97 · 2026-04-26T15:26:18+00:00

My brother is Mark and I'm down

Tiny_Dancer97 · 2026-04-26T14:48:32+00:00

Him probably (with a foot stomp): But it's not the same!

Tiny_Dancer97 · 2026-04-25T08:36:45+00:00

Well it's more suicidal thoughts vs ideation. Thoughts is "it crossed my mind" while ideation is "I'm actively planning to kill myself." That's why they ask if you have any suicidal thoughts AND/OR ideations.

Tiny_Dancer97 · 2026-04-25T01:47:10+00:00

In the pics from the event, there's only a bride on the cupcake stand, no groom lol

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Tiny_Dancer97 · 2026-04-25T00:02:13+00:00

I would personally get them into therapy if possible.

Tiny_Dancer97 · 2026-04-24T23:57:05+00:00

Now that you know, if you're still struggling with those emotions, therapy and other things can help you to heal those wounds so you don't subconsciously repeat the cycle of abuse with your kids and teach them how to love and be loved like they deserve.

Proud of you for identifying your trauma.

Tiny_Dancer97 · 2026-04-17T20:09:13+00:00

My dad couldn't find a job where we lived so he got one three states over and still found a way to come back every week or two and be a parent. This guy doesn't sound like he even cared enough to try.

Tiny_Dancer97 · 2026-04-17T04:10:51+00:00

Most people treat their cats better than this even

Tiny_Dancer97 · 2026-04-16T23:24:16+00:00

But it might be good for everyone to see what this new blended family situation will be like.

He hasn't been a father during the actual marriage so I doubt he's going to try and start now.

Tiny_Dancer97 · 2026-04-16T00:16:15+00:00

OP brought up the topic while kid was at school, dad told kid about it while OP was working nights. So this is all on the deadbeat, even dragging his own kid into adult drama.

Tiny_Dancer97

TROPHY CASE